Hello and salutations, Bator Bros! Welcome back to the Bator Blog and the Fully Exposed corner of the bate universe. This week we’re talking about sexual diversity in bate spaces.
In this on-going series, I’ll explore everyday interpersonal bate-life interactions, touching on romantic partnerships, platonic parallels, racially driven sexualized narratives, and the dynamics of non-sexual intimacy between men. This week we’re talking about sexual diversity in bate spaces. By shedding light on these unique social experiences, I aim to open pathways for deeper connections beyond ejaculating together. Ultimately, this is about fostering a sense of brotherhood and safe camaraderie, emphasizing the value of male authenticity and connection.
This article looks at sexual diversity within bate spaces. Through identity, connection, and expression, men come together to explore their sexuality through mutual masturbation.
Sexual diversity in bate spaces like BateWorld
Over the years, gay, bi, straight, side, and solosexual bators have all found their place in male-centered platforms. These sexual identities are becoming more visible, and new, reformed definitions of sexuality are giving way to more open expressions of our inner sexual worlds. BateWorld has been a game-changer since 2010, offering a space for men to embrace their sexual nature and masculinity with the privacy and comfort of online interactions. Unlike some platforms at the time, like Skype groups, Craigslist, or Reddit, BateWorld provided a rare, almost exclusive opportunity for this type of connection.
From my perspective and shared conversations during the pandemic, BateWorld experienced a surge in activity and membership. Isolation gave many of us more time to explore our romantic relationships more deeply or adapt solo play time to new home dynamics. For others living alone, it might have been a period of self-discovery and building an online community in a totally new way. Still, no matter the dynamics of it all, it was a “bator awakening” for so many of us. One notable outcome was the rise of interest in gooning, which spread like wildfire, especially within the gay community and social media.
Sexual diversity expression and broader connections
As the community grew, so did the number of various players in the bator sandbox, and opinions differed naturally. Some loved the diversity of sexual expression and broader connections. In contrast, others felt the space may have become less niche. Some even questioned whether masturbation was still the primary focus of the site.
I believe it still is—but the nature of BateWorld, which exposes male sexuality – no matter one’s sexual orientation/preferences – through masturbation, has and will continue to evolve naturally. Fetishes and kinks have expanded and opened new doors to what shared masturbation can mean and what it can be in the moment for anyone looking to explore these activities. It’s a personal journey to understand what fuels your arousal, beyond just seeing a screen of men stroking.
Since joining in 2016, I’ve seen a growing openness among members. Profiles, videos, and groups now reflect a greater variety of interests and comfort levels. VidChat—what I call “Penis TV”—is a prime example of this evolution. Here’s some of what I’ve observed and witnessed on VidChat with a greasy dick over the years:
- A wife (off-screen but hands visible) milking her husband.
- Men using sex toys, pumps, dildos, or vibrators.
- Trans men coaching/sharing with other bators how they enjoy masturbation.
- Straight men discussing their love for vaginas & porn.
These interactions may challenge or excite some members’ expectations and beliefs of what it means to be “a bator.” Still, they reflect the sexual fluidity, sexual diversity, and depth of our community.
Are there limits to what qualifies as “bating”?
Or what is fuel for bating before it becomes something else?
In my view, there is no one-size-fits-all answer, it matters and doesn’t matter, and we will all navigate these new greasy waves of expression differently.
However, while a sexy bator dick can be captivating, many of us seek something more—a connection to the person attached to the penis. Adding that element can also be particularly challenging for bators dating non-bator enthusiasts (bringing up thoughts of whether this is cheating or some alternative) or an eye-opening addition for those in romantic partnerships and/or a beautiful and genuinely extraordinary freeing friendship.
There is excitement in witnessing someone’s pleasure and feeling their energy while masturbating. Still, it often raises more profound questions about what drives our desire to have penis sex together.
Triggering exciting new areas of connection
Where does your mind go in sexual play? It may be a place to let go of responsibility. A place to be naughty? A place to be softly aggressive, or a place of spiritual awakening or union?
For some men new to the bate community, it could very well be about crossing the line (if there is one) between homoerotic and homosocial activities, adding new value and meaning to sexual expression.
This is where the conversation begins with ourselves, partner(s), and trusted bate bros. Ultimately, I don’t have all the answers, but I’m curious to explore these dynamics further. Authenticity and self-acceptance are key to meaningful connections, and they can be hard to achieve when fear or anxiety takes over our thought processes. Still, when we manage to “see” each other honestly and openly, the experience of bating together – no matter who we are or how we identify – can feel like a celebration.
Let’s keep this conversation going down below
What are your thoughts on these matters, and what have your experiences been in this new era of fully exposed masturbation? Drop them in the comments below.
I would also love for your stories and experiences to help shape this series, making it a space where bators (like you!) can learn, grow, and connect more mindfully. Please don’t hesitate to swing by my profile and share what’s on your mind whenever you feel like it. I’m all ears for your thoughts on bator-vulnerability or anything you’re navigating right now in your connections. Rest assured, I’ll handle everything with confidentiality if I incorporate your experiences into the series.
My goal is to create a blog that reflects various situations we all face, not just my perspectives. Let’s make this an authentic voice of our community together!
Until next time, stay greasy and keep bating—it works!
MyB8Buddy
This resonates with me several ways. I gain (almost 😉) as much pleasure during a group bate meetup from watching and helping others become aroused, caressed, appreciative and ejaculate as I do. There is a shared male ‘vibe’ or positive empathic response sharing something we all do as males, jointly understand and have likely done across all history. It is mutually relatable across all ages, all ethnicities, all body types, all sexualities, and intimately meaningful. The body-contact intimacy of shared bate seems to be a primal, evolutionary need, generating group (or “tribal”) cohesion and understanding.
I only really found out about this shared bate communing in my 50s. I wish I’d been able to sooner in life. Trying to live according to conventional “hetero-normative” programming was CLEARLY insufficient. (My ex-wife’s rejection of anything except penetrative sex with her – even me simply masturbating on my own – as being “gay” was cloying.) Eventually, frustration, unhappiness, and depression triggered the knowledge that a broader scope of sex should – must – be explored for my own sanity. So, I looked for, and found a bate club: Stumptown Strokes in Portland Oregon. The recognition of this as a safe, shared, symmetric (non- dom/sub) ethos was nearly instantly comforting and comfortable.
Try to order the big penis book like I did from Amazon.com
There’s a lot here. I just wanted to say right on! This article just touches on the depth and breadth of what it means to be a bator today. It’s thought provoking and resonates with my own experience since joining BateWorld in 2015.
As an anthropology professor who specializes in sexuality, gender, sexual practice, and online gay male sexual subcultures, I have to ask: What is ‘sexual diversity’ in this context? Is this post about bi/gay/straight/asexual/pansexual? Those categories would be ‘diversity in sexuality’.
Or, is this piece supposed to be about ‘diversity in sexual expression’ which would be bating, solo sex, mutual masturbation, etc.?
Or, is this piece about gender diversity in bating? Which would be the examples of wives milking husbands; FTM or MTF bators; femme males; stereotypical males; etc.
I guess my general comment is the piece does little to actually discuss any specific type of diversity within the ‘Bator Community’. If this series is to continue, I would suggest the writer(s) engage in some familiarity with the concepts of sexuality, sexual expression, gender, biological sex. Diversity might also include: ethnicity, educational background, cultural contexts, etc. Thinking about the bate community in an effective manner might require some familiarity with these concepts and deploying them in meaningful ways in a discussion.
For example, this article mentions ‘male sexuality’ – but in what manner is what we see here ‘male’ sexuality. The focus appears to be on the presence of a penis? Is that what ‘male sexuality’ is? But then the author brings up FTM – is the gender performance of maleness/masculinity what constitutes ‘male sexuality’? But then, what about MTF who might perform femininity but still have a penis – is this ‘male sexuality’? Similarly, what about a femme performing male who does indeed have a penis but whose gender performance varies significantly from stereotypical masculine performance.
I think the post presents some interesting questions as to the boundaries of being a ‘bator’; what constitutes ‘male sexuality through masturbation’. I think the article also functions largely on essentialist claims of ‘male sexuality’; and this essentialism is also present in bate discourse throughout the site itself. Interrogating what we mean by ‘male sexuality’ also means interrogating ‘bator identity’ itself.
What I find hopeful in the bate community and in my personal bate experience has been how and in what manners ‘bating’ can cross socio-cultural boundaries (like gender performance, ethnicity, sexuality, sexual expression) and how inclusive many of the men on bateworld.com might be.
I really appreciate the spirit of the post but, probably because of my propensity as a professor specializing in sexuality/gender/sexual subcultures/anthropology I tend to overthink everything, analyze everything, and otherwise complicate that which need not be complicated. I do think engaging in some of the academic concepts of gender, sexuality, sexual expression, biological sex, symbolic meanings in sexual realms, etc. would add additional and interesting perspectives to this series.
Well said Brian! I’m also studied (specifically) in anthropology of sexuality and will say that often times a lot of academic language doesn’t translate as well in defining the practice of sexual connection in realtime, and often when I’m overtheorizing things into different labels and subcategories, it’s easier to get back to the simplicity of the spirit of batorhood – enjoying the pleasure in connecting with your own sexual energy/sexual body and expressing that to be shared with others.
I believe the intention behind MyB8Buddy’s article stems from his trajectory as a bator as the website has changed to include a greater diversity of bators with different interests that come from different experiences in sexual orientation.
The social stereotype is that masturbating is second tier to other forms of sexual connection, reserved strictly as a private isolated necessity to replace intercourse or other “socially accepted” forms of sexual connection, as a “failure” of male sociosexuality since it is historically linked to heteronormative reproductive essentialism. The article not only challenges this stereotype, but highlights the possibility for connection across sexual identities through sharing masturbation, considering the fluidity that bate spaces can offer and the potential that connecting with different bators (regardless of sexuality, gender, or genitalia) has in not only expanding our desires and curiosities, but altering our own understandings beyond the rigid expectations that we live through with labels of sexual orientation and gender.
I believe the focus on “male sexuality” doesn’t intend on making theses concepts exclusive to just one type of gender expression. ‘Exposing male sexuality’ is not necessarily essentialist since the point of reference is how exposed feminine sensuality is in popular media, and the vulnerability and exposure of masculine sexuality (regardless off gender or sex) is often challenging or taboo for many, particularly cisgender heterosexual men. Having a space to freely explore pleasure, desire and your own body can be rare for those who don’t feel embraced by popular homosexual (virtual and irl) spaces, and exploring homosocial connection without judgement or identity politics is so valuable in truly celebrating ones own sexual expression beyond labels.
The experience of batorhood is a testament to how fluid and diverse our own sexualities are and can be. Sexuality is an active changing dynamic in our lives, and sharing the bate with others has taught me so much about my own desires, shame, and self-acceptance that no other sexual dynamic could offer.
As a genderfluid gooner with a penis, I am still processing and re-theorizing what penis sex, batorhood, addiction, acceptance, and the boundaries of what makes a bator true means, but so far why this sexual connection is so important is that it creates avenues of reframing my sexual imagination beyond what society deems acceptable and safe.
I am still hashing out gender expression in bate spaces (such as bateworld). I understand the value in exclusive focus of gender-coded spaces, but am still processing what it means to navigate genderfluidity in spaces that focus and rely on performance of masculinity being exposed a certain way to fuel/encourage the bate (dynamics that I even rely on and replicate) There have been times I have felt excluded or not embraced because of my gender expression, but for the most part bators have been the sweetest smartest sexiest and most authentic and loving sexual partners I have had the honor to connect with, virtually and in person.
(If you can relate to my experience please don’t hesitate to reply or reach out, I’m always looking to process things together and hear other gendernonconforming bator’s experiences.)
love n grease xoxo
joanzcraftz