Part 2: Identifying Negative Beliefs
Hello and salutations, Bator Bros! Welcome back to the Bator Blog and the Fully Exposed corner of the bate universe. This week, we’re continuing the conversation about how to start building the mutual male masturbation Squirt Squad of your greasy dreams. In the last blog, we began with Self-Compassion—a crucial first step in developing self-worth and confidence.
Why? Simply because it feels so much better to bust a big one without worrying about what your body’s doing, what noises or gibberish you make, or how much you shoot—or don’t. No matter what happens, the experience is yours and your fellow bros’ to celebrate in the moment.
Now, let’s move to step two: Identify and Challenge Negative Beliefs.
Acknowledging compassion
As shared in part one, acknowledging where compassion is needed is crucial, as many factors contribute to the negative beliefs we hold about ourselves and others, including generational influences, inherited male-gender biases, unrealistic societal expectations, social media algorithms, and personal social experiences. Interactions with family, friends, coworkers, romantic partners, and even strangers can often lead to silent, unresolved feelings of rejection or abandonment. Over time, this disorganized inner world can lead us to seek validation from the wrong sources, such as external approval or social media.
For me, these realizations surfaced after ending a five-and-a-half-year relationship. I walked away feeling unattractive, believing my body and my dick were unworthy of pleasure or intimacy with someone else. Once I moved out and moved on, I knew I needed real shared intimacy and reassurance—but I also knew I had to be gentle with myself. I wanted to explore and play sexually in a safe, affirming way.
So, I fully embraced my bator journey, became active on BateWorld, and joined my local mutual male masturbation community, the Chicago Windy City Jax B8 Club. But even then, insecurities crept in, and I found myself doubting whether I’d made the right choice.
Recognizing negative thoughts and questioning their truths
Many bator bros carry internalized beliefs that they’re “not good enough” unless they meet certain external standards—whether in career success, relationships, physical appearance, material possessions, or masculine performance. But when we set up our mutual male masturbation bate space, most of those thoughts slip away with the layers of clothes we remove and are gone by the time the grease touches our cocks. Yet the more we bate, the more of our natural being comes through in the presence of others, and often those pesky negative beliefs or discursive thoughts start buzzing around in our minds again.
But here’s the truth: they’re just thoughts, not facts. Let yourself hold them with curiosity. Start by recognizing that negative beliefs are just thoughts, and question their truth:
- Where might this belief have come from?
- What are the unadorned facts of the matter?
- Is this belief based on embellishments, assumptions, or conditioning?
- Where else does this belief show up in my life, outside of the bate space?
- Most importantly: Who would I be without this belief?
- What support or routine change would help me transform this belief?
Ways to reframe negative thoughts for better mutual male masturbation
Reframing negative beliefs by understanding your own needs can help you see yourself more clearly and honestly. Take small steps: schedule “me time” and stick to it. Dance freely for 20 minutes. Meditate quietly for 15 minutes. Go for a reflective walk or light jog a few times a week. Listen to an uplifting podcast or a playlist that makes you feel good. In those moments, ask yourself:
- What made me proud of myself today?
- What qualities do I admire in myself, and why?
- How can I show up for myself when it feels like no one else does?
And when you’re in your personal bate time, add a little more lube and keep going and reflect:
- What’s beautiful and unique about my dick?
- What do I love about my bator routine?
- What do I enjoy about my body and my sexy self?
- What connections do I really want with another bator, and why?
- How can I show up authentically to connect with people who want to connect with me?
By shifting your focus from external validation to internal fulfillment, this is the key to rebuilding a new positive outlook on yourself and developing the regulative tools to help you through the hard times. Even through simple acts like a daily affirming masturbation session, you can strengthen your self-worth. That personal new routine is similar to the 21/90 rule: it takes 21 days to build a habit, and 90 days to make it a lifestyle. So, keep the hope alive—and keep your favorite lube stocked.
Final Thoughts
You’re the one constant in your own life. Why not develop the self-awareness and skills needed to meet your own needs more effectively and enjoy yourself more fully? Your bator bros aren’t perfect either. Most are skilled at hiding their insecurities, often without realizing it, especially in the pursuit of the ideal bate session or orgasm. Be the change. Your mutual male masturbation Squirt Squad will reflect that energy back to you, and together, you’ll celebrate it regularly.
This journey is about bonding with mindful, self-secure individuals in a relaxed, judgment-free space where sexy guys support each other authentically. Learning how your nervous system responds—whether it’s Fight, Flight, or Delight—can help you build deeper connections, linking sensations to emotions, and making your shared sessions more meaningful. Over time, this self-awareness will spill over into your daily life, conversations, and confidence, helping reshape your beliefs with every interaction.
To build real brotherhood and safe camaraderie within your bate squad, aim to be comfortable with your vulnerability—and secure enough to share it naked, with a boner or not, next to a trusted bator bro.
Let’s keep this conversation going in the comments.
Until next time, stay greasy and keep bating—even through the tough stuff—it works!
