Part 1: Practicing Self-Compassion
Hello and salutations, Bator Bros! Welcome back to the Bator Blog and the Fully Exposed corner of the bate universe. This week, let’s celebrate all the new bator dudes stroking your way this season, buddy. As things warm up for many of us, seasonal depression evaporates, and new, bator energy emerges. There’s more desire to expose our dicks outdoors in the sun, spend hours on VidChat/Zoom for some mutual male masturbation with the windows open, or finally book that trip to visit that bate bro you’ve been texting/camming with for awhile now.
The time has come to reignite a lot of our bate connections or begin new ones. Creating an opportunity to explore how and why bators could stand to drop the illicit “bator performance” we can fall into and instead allow another dynamic of male vulnerability to be part of our bator bond and our dick-developing delights this season.
Being your fully present, authentic male self
It’s been a conversation for a century; men have talked openly about their struggles with their perceived self-worth or belief of inadequacy to be their fully present male authentic self.
There are a few contributing factors to this: generational, passed-down male-gender beliefs, unrealistic societal expectations, social media algorithms, and personal social experiences. These daily interactions/behaviors with family, friends, co-workers, romantic partners, and strangers can easily lead to silent, unresolved self-rejection (abandonment). This can force one’s needs into false external approval outlets from oneself in all the wrong places when connecting and meeting with other men for mutual male masturbation.
But (for the fans of Cilla Black reading) surprise, surprise…SURPRISE, SURPRISE!!!
That supportive, awesome Squirt Squad of your greasy dreams starts with YOU!
The mutual male masturbation squad journey starts with self-love
As you already know, mutual male masturbation can serve as an all-access pass to male acceptance on many levels and dynamics. But still, it’s also an all-access pass for ourselves and others to our most fully exposed, vulnerable selves—if we let it be! However, confidence and self-love calls only come from “inside the house” of presence and self-awareness. For most of us, that phone line has been faulty or offline for a long while, allowing just enough time for us to create false beliefs about ourselves and others.
For me, that connection to myself has been cut off a few dozen times, and I’ve had to repair the connection manually. I have been subject to some cruel situations in my life that have made me form significant negative beliefs about myself. Most are about my perceived shortcomings or my individual differences within my family dynamics, my social status/appearance, my peer groups, or even the world, which can sometimes make me feel less than or just a less interesting person than others.
But, “Jesus, take the wheel.” I have been on a personal healing journey for over a year and a half now, making space for many of my monsters of childhood traumas/repressed wounds to come up. And, trust me, they also come up in my bate time and social bate spaces. “My dick isn’t big enough,” “My body is unattractive,” or “My voice isn’t “manly” enough,” or “Why did that bator I thought I had a great bate & connection with block me?”…ect.
So yes, I know this struggle is well; it’s all connected. But, as is very clear to me now, there is enormous power in starting a journey toward greater self-love and self-value and embracing my self-growth. This, in fact, is the beginning of building or being naturally intertwined into the mutual male masturbation circles we desire.
Why is self-worth Important?
How does or will this affect your future sexy mutual male masturbation squad? Self-worth is an essential foundation for repeated, fulfilling social experiences. When you have a strong sense of self and presence, you:
- Make decisions that align with your values rather than seeking approval, but leave room for discussion and a deeper connection.
- Build healthier relationships by learning to balance boundaries for yourself and others in the equation separately yet securely.
- Become more resilient in the face of setbacks and challenges.
- Experience more extended periods of happiness and contentment from within, which is some charming and sexy shit to others.
Conversely, relying on others for self-worth can lead to higher anxiety, people-pleasing behaviors, and feelings of inadequacy. So, by figuring out what your inner peace is, feels, and looks like while shifting your mindset, you allow and make room for a more satisfying connection experience for yourself and those whose path meets you.
So, where do you start with yourself while playing with others?
Step one, start with practicing self-compassion
As males, we are often taught to be the “tough/cool guy” through social interaction growing up, taught to be self-critical and comparative to others when we mess up or fail, but self-compassion is key to building self-value and confidence. When you make a mistake in front of others saying or doing something silly or feel inadequate because the guy next to you is lifting more weight, mentally call it out, acknowledge it as no big deal because, well, it’s not; mistakes happen, and remember we all start somewhere.
Progress only enters the conversation when consistent action is happening too. Regulate yourself with kindness instead of harsh inward judgment. The old version of you will appreciate that.
Begin to engage in more activities that make you feel strong, capable, present, and confident, such as:
- Commit to certain gym days or group exercise classes.
- Weight loss or gaining goals: Give yourself time. Rome wasn’t built in a day.
- Learning how to cook your favorite meals
- Discuss your stress/fear with a therapist.
- Take self-reflecting walks, hikes, or jogs several times a week.
- Listen to that inspirational podcast or audiobook.
- Journal
- Create a playlist of songs that uplift you.
- Edge your penis, but don’t cum, and use that self-generated erotic energy for your day’s task, or edge your dick and cum everywhere and release that energy after a long, tough day.
Just be good to yourself, dude! You are all you have day in and day out.
Nobody is perfect; We are well-rehearsed at concealing our wounds, and most don’t even know or realize it. Missteps are a part of growth and a testament to the kindness you still hold despite the setback(s). Others will take note of this quality.
Final Thoughts
Turn up the volume of your inner voice and lend it your ear. Listen. The quality of your desired mutual male masturbation squad is perfectly aligned with all the areas you should fulfill for yourself first. RuPaul said it best and simply: “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you going to love somebody else?”
When we bate with our penis bros, we can do so with a great deal of energy, and we can use that energy to truly be ourselves while stroking together and sharing the love. Your future buddy can only get to know you as deeply as you know yourself and allow yourself to be known, man.
Let’s keep this conversation going down below in the comment section.
Until next time, stay greasy and keep bating—it works!
