What’s a circle jerk and how to handle yourself well at one?
When more than two men masturbate together, they’re having what is known and loved as a circle jerk. As long as men have gathered in locker rooms, dorms or saunas, group stroke sessions have sprung up. Some are formal (see Jack Off Clubs – a great list here), some casual (a bator bro’s house) or spontaneous (the urinal, or gym sauna).
Every successful circle jerk calls for good manners. Knowing how to handle yourself makes the experience hot and fun for everyone involved. Call it decorum, or just call it being decent.
Is it like circle jerk porn?
Porn might show bros bro-ing out on their dicks together, but it rarely captures the excitement of a real life circle jerk. In actuality they’re messy, lively, and often social, far more so than the staged scenarios we see in porn.
Real life circle jerks cover a wide gamut of sexual interests: solosexuality, mutual masturbation, voyeurism, exhibitionism, anonymity, and genuine connection. Every participant brings their own vibe and kinks.
And the main thing porn never captures: etiquette. That’s exactly what we’re here to help with. Get these things right, and you’ll be welcomed back, and not the one shown the door.
Before the jerk: arrive ready
Our top considerations to help you arrive ready and open to a hot time.
Do:
- Show up clean. Nothing kills the vibe faster for some than man-stink (not to shame the kink of those who love it!).
- Expect to get naked. You’re here to play, not lurk.
- Calm your nerves. Remind yourself, circle jerks are safe, liberated, and erotically charged. Relax and enjoy.
- Be punctual. If it’s at a bro’s place, don’t make him answer the door mid-session.
Don’t:
- Don’t bring prejudice. All types of men attend. All races, ages, bodies, looks. If that’s a problem, don’t come.
- Don’t assume all sessions are the same. Learn the rules in advance or learn them quickly on arriving!
Jerk manners: Play nice to jerk off well together
This is a shared experience. That calls for simple manners! Here are our top considerations on behaving well at your circle jerk.
Do:
- Learn the house rules. “No lips below the hips” or “no insertion” rules may apply. If you’re unsure what that means you can do, find out. Kissing, massage and nipple play is often permissible, but again if you’re not sure, just ask. “Hey bro, what’s the go with frot here?”
- Respect those rules. Deliberate rule-breaking is a fast track to being shown the door. It’s a real dick-downer!
- Be friendly. Light conversation eases the nerves, but don’t pry. Some guys value anonymity, so read the room.
Don’t:
- Don’t monopolize someone. Hogging or isolating a bro isn’t cool. This is group play. Let it flow.
- Don’t ignore your own comfort. Check in with yoruself. If you want to watch, play solo, step back or get in the thick of it, it’s your choice.
- Don’t assume substances are welcome. Thinking of using poppers, toys, or other props or substances? Confirm first.
During the jerk: how to masturbate with others
So you’re following the rules and showing great manners, now what? Here’s some tips to help you masturbate well with your bros.
Do:
- Feel free to masturbate. Might seem obvious! But you can masturbate whenever you like. Your attendance is your permission.
- Ask first. Consent is critical, even at a circle jerk. Ask, “Can I?” before you do something and respect a “no” if you get one.
- Signal intentions clearly. If you want to be edged, say so. Want your balls rubbed? Communication is key to you and him having fun.
- Include everyone. Cliques happen, and for the one left out it’s dull. Bring in those who are left out. Or Next time it might be you.
Don’t:
- Don’t forget lube preferences. Guys have their own needs.
- Don’t rush him to orgasm. Let him finish when he’s ready, not because you are.
- Don’t use your phone. Make memories, not enemies.
- Don’t assume everyone wants what you want. Some are there to connect, some to watch, some to perform.
- Don’t kink-shame. Don’t yuck his yum. If you’re not into it, move on.
After the jerk: leave well
The expectations on you don’t end after you climax.
Do:
- Clean up after yourself. You’re a grown up man. Take care of your tissues, towels and spills,
- Freshen up during. Keen on staying on? Towel off, or take a rinse if needed. Not everyone loves a nostril-full of semen.
Don’t:
- Don’t ghost the host. Someone went to the effort to put this on for you. Thank him. It goes a long way.
So there we have it. The basics of respect and thoughtfulness form the backbone of circle jerk etiquette.
Whenever it comes to group play, it pays to remember you’re not the sun around which everyone rotates. Manners aren’t just being polite, they help make things work. When circle jerks flow, it’s a huge turn on. And you want to be asked back, don’t you?
