How to Stop Jacking Off (And Start Bating)

How I learned what jacking off really is: Mitch

The greatest day of my life was the day I married my Bator husband (hey babe, I know you’ll read this). The second best was the day I learned what jacking off really is. Shout out to Mitch who told me about it – thanks buddy, you really changed my life.

That first time – and it was 33 years ago now – is vividly etched into my memory. I felt I’d struck upon gold! A little chink opened up in the wall between me and being a proper man. I remember marveling that ‘I can make these feelings for myself.’ Amazing feelings, and so easily, thanks to what Mitch taught me.

Bator realization and discoveries

Almost without fail, I’ve been jacking off every day since, finding constant joy in it. I came to see jacking off as a special category of my erotic pleasure. I learned to appreciate it as masturbation – a practice worthy of study.

I discovered some amazing truths about my body. Like learning that ejaculation and orgasm are not the same thing. Or discovering my nipples get erect when my penis does. I even demystified multicumming. I was having such good sex with myself that I embraced living as a solosexual.

As a boy listening to Mitch, I couldn’t have conceived of such a thing. That I would love masturbation so much I would call myself a Bator. But it’s who I am. I’m proud to live the bate life. Who knows? Maybe Mitch is a Bator too.

Do you get lost in your penis masturbation? Do you want to go deeper into it?

Do you see masturbation as an act of self-care?

When I answered yes to these questions, like a lightbulb going off in my mind, I realised I was a Bator. Here’s how it happened…

How I learned to stop jacking off and start bating: Master Bate

I credit a man called Master Bate for helping me to stop jacking off and start bating. I was a new member of BateWorld, and I met Master in the chat rooms. He took me under his virtual wing and into private coaching sessions. The wisdom he imparted in those early days are lessons I still carry.

With him I learned to own my pleasure. I had never considered it before. I was focused on others, or on how others saw me. Master taught me that masturbation is our biologically-given right to pleasure. You are entitled to pleasure. So own it.

While I masturbated for him, happily delaying my orgasm for as long as I could, Master got me thinking about why we edge. It’s more than a delay. More than building a messier orgasm or a deeper release.

Master taught me that each stroke was what I came for. Each and every one. Not the orgasm. He said masturbation was a slow accumulation of strokes, like a symphony. One I played. Me alone.

At that, my duration went from 20 minutes’ edging to many hours. The amount of sex I started having with myself exploded. This was possibly the greatest lesson he gave me. I began to treat myself as I would a lover. As I would hope a lover might treat me.

No matter how often you’re currently jacking off, Master would say do it more. You will realise that the more you masturbate, the more you want to masturbate. Under no circumstances should you believe that you do it too much. Question anyone who makes you feel compulsive. It’s your body. It’s good for your health.

Meanwhile, an unlikely friendship was growing between me and another young Bator. A friendship which would teach me a valuable lesson…

The lesson of mutual masturbation: Jakey

Somehow we became mutuals. He went by the handle ‘Jakey’. We circled around each other quite a bit initially, often gravitating to each other in the cam room.

We’d signal to one another, I’m seeing you. Nothing said. I’d flex my biceps on the edge, and I’d see him on screen do the same. He’d use his free hand on his nipples and I’d mirror him. Inevitably, one of us would private message, Looking good, Bator.

Jakey said he used to have a high mistrust of internet people, which was fair. While we have never met in real life, we learned to trust one another. We’d go private 1 on 1, we exchanged numbers and revealed who we are as men. Sane, intelligent and fun was what I found him to be.

Jakey displays a horniness that is out of control. I love watching him masturbate. He presents himself openly, displaying his slim, smooth body and the massive penis which rises between his thighs with pride.

He shows a love for himself that is infectious. I can’t help but do myself in the same way. Either in a cam room or sharing videos, there’s a transference. As if I’m in his body and he feels himself in mine. It’s like his dick twitches and I feel the throb.

There’s a phenomenon amongst Bators in the cam room. When one man lifts his arms and flexes his biceps, another will follow and do the same, then another and another. We’re saying, I’m here, you’re here. We’re united in this. Puffed up, proud.

When you become a Bator, you are part of a growing brotherhood of men proud to be penis masturbators. A bro’s strokes accumulate with yours. The charge can feel twice as intense. His pleasure can rub off onto you. And yours on him.