Like anything we do often, masturbation can slip into routine, and sometimes, into ruts. Even experienced bators can hold onto habits or beliefs that limit their pleasure. Male masturbation should be constantly evolving. It changes with our circumstances and age. Making sure it changes for the better can take some conscious effort.
Masturbation is very personal. There are certainly things that work for me that would not work for you. Here, we put forward six healthy mindsets to guide any man into improving their male masturbation. We can masturbate better today than we did yesterday. In that way our best days of masturbation will always be ahead of us.
Masturbation is essential
If you’re feeling a bit stuck in a rut, it might pay to not only see masturbation as normal, but to see it as essential – that’s a winning mindset!
We are generally living in times that accept male masturbation as healthy. Thankfully, it is taught in sex education that it’s natural to wank, no different to eating when hungry, or resting when you’re tired. Embracing masturbation as essential takes things further – it celebrates it as extraordinary. It prioritizes self-pleasure not as something we occasionally choose to do, but something we need to do to feel fulfilled.
Importantly, this moves masturbation from being seen as a ‘time wasting’ activity to a ‘time well spent’ pursuit. So many men fall into the pattern of telling themselves they should be doing something more important with their time. That’s wrong.
If you’re spending your whole weekend masturbating, you’re winning. Don’t let any negative thoughts suggest otherwise. Keeping your body pumped with erotic energy is a beautiful and legitimate way to spend time.
Remind yourself, this is exactly what I should be doing right now.
Male masturbation is sex
Despite what people may think, masturbators have more sex than anyone. It’s time to stop separating masturbation from sex. When we treat it as a substitute for ‘real’ (read: partnered) sex, we devalue it and ourselves. Masturbation is real sex.
Solosexuality is a fully satisfying sexuality for many. When men embrace their solosexuality, they often report feeling a new sense of freedom. They’ve rejected a societal norm that we must have partnered sex to be considered sexually active.
To advance your male masturbation, it would pay to validate your bate as sex. For men who do engage in partnered sex too, masturbation should be embraced as sex to have in addition to that. We shouldn’t masturbate less because we have partnered sex. Do both!
Start today. Begin having lots of sex…masturbate your penis.
Edging is power
The longer we edge, the more intense the pleasure. It’s kind of miraculous.
Most men masturbate at a low rate of voltage. They trigger ‘low watt’ orgasms. The advanced masturbator experiences stronger orgasms because they’ve mastered the truth about our bodies.
Here’s how it works. Every time we approach ejaculation but pull back just in time, we give our penis the maximum pleasure it can handle – without releasing our cum. If we take a moment’s break before starting again, it is as if we reset the baseline. When we begin masturbating, we approach from a more supercharged beginning.
Pleasure layers upon itself. It’s like electricity. Men who edge describe their edged penis as being electric, as feeling charged. Like electricity, we turn up the voltage through edging.
Up the ante. Life’s too short to have low-watt orgasms.
We need to talk about jerking off
Transparency about masturbation does not come easily, but jerking off gets better when we have fewer hang-ups.
Many men discover they are bators within relationships. Sometimes it is hard to communicate a new sexual interest when a relationship has become entrenched. The shame we felt as young people can carry into adulthood. We might fear our partner will react the way a parent once did. That is, with judgement or shame.
Secrecy can be exciting, but after a while can also become exhausting. That’s where openness is liberating. Your partner does not have to be a part of your male masturbation. They should not be threatened by it though. You haven’t cheated. You’re not saying you’re out of love with them.
The more we discuss masturbation, the easier it is to discuss. Being open about masturbation will free everyone from hang-ups and give us all space to masturbate well.
Normalize masturbation. Men masturbate, so what?
Male masturbation toys are serious fun
It’s fairly common that explorative teenagers make good use of ‘toys’ in their masturbation. These are items found around the home, rather than bought in stores, but they feel great when rubbed on our dicks or humped into.
Why then do we, as we get older, put aside playing with toys? Outdated ideas seem to suggest that men don’t use toys for sex because it somehow makes us vulnerable or soft.
Masturbation is a practice, and toys help us go deeper, discover more, and expand what we thought was possible. Strokers, massagers and sleeves aid us to explore and test our limits. Toys can tap into surprising new emotions during our solo sex. We might even take a more submissive role in our pleasure, which counterbalances ideas that male pleasure must be active to be legitimate.
Play hard, play differently. Reward yourself with a toy.
Get into mutual male masturbation online
In a world that still struggles to talk openly about solo pleasure, meeting other bators online allows us to observe, connect and learn. There’s real power in seeing another man masturbate proudly.
BateWorld and other cam sites, so long as they’re consensual, allow bators to drop their guard and be vulnerable. In doing so, the converse is the result, we build confidence.
Sharing how good we feel in our own bodies is deeply affirming. We may do things differently, but when I see you masturbating I know instantly what you’re feeling. When we have told ourselves we masturbate ‘too much’ or that ‘I’m the only one who does this,’ it can heal us to see and respond to another man masturbating.
Mutual masturbation is a mirror, a chance to learn, and an opportunity to coach man to man. We can mutually commit to better and more fulfilling ways to masturbate our penises.
So go ahead, be proud of your pleasure. Proud enough to show it off.
