Search Results for: Mindful Masturbation

I’ve been a member of BW for over 3 years now, and been committed to the solosexual lifestyle for 2 years now. I’m loving it, but would love to share this with someone in a relationship. There aren’t many who are dedicated to this sort of lifestyle, but how do you recommend some ways to find someone?

I grew up in a Southern Baptist household where sex was never mentioned. My parents never prepared me for what I would experience during puberty and adulthood. Their silence on the subject of sex and the human body, along with the daily humiliations of Junior High, required me to carry the weight of a lot of things I was too young to handle, and the traumas that were buried in me then are still alive today.

Pleasure is not solely delegated to sex. Although this has become the focus of this “Reclaiming Masturbation” series, I want to take this last post to expand the idea and concept of what masturbation could be. Strictly speaking, let’s think of masturbation not only as a sexual activity but also as any activity that “strokes” (in a manner of speaking) you to a higher place of pleasure, delight, and consciousness. This could be elicited through the listening of a great piece of music, eating a delectable meal, having a stimulating conversation with a good friend, enjoying a great movie, or attending a thought-provoking lecture.

Pornography has been a present aspect of many people’s sexual landscape including my own. In this, Part 3 of Reclaiming Masturbation, I want to share my thoughts, concerns, techniques, and insights into how to create a more mindful masturbation practice around porn watching. Pornography, in my opinion, exists for two main reasons and in two main categories simultaneously: Sex as Art (the adoration of the beauty of sex) and Sex as Science (the actual arousal and stimulation of watching the mechanics of sex).

A few days ago a dear friend of mine asked, “Garland, why are you writing about how to masturbate? Masturbation’s been around as long as man’s been on the planet!”

We both laughed ’cause his question is a legitimate one. Why write about something that, arguably, billions of people have engaged in for ages; putting hand or device to penis or vagina, stimulate until orgasm/ejaculation, the end. Of course his question insinuates that EVERYONE knows how to masturbate. Like, duh?

I began a slow journey back to reclaiming the self-pleasures of my penis. Granted, against my parents’ wishes, I continued to masturbate all those 22 years, but it was never something that I felt I could fully throw myself into as a self-loving and self-pleasuring activity – an activity whose own pleasure was reason enough to indulge. My folks, coupled with my religious upbringing, had previously and systematically ruined this self-loving potential. Every time I’d do it, I’d be riddled with guilt.

Premature Ejaculation: There’s nothing to be ashamed of!

QUESTION: I’m 27 years old in the military, and this is really embarrassing. I guess you call it premature ejaculation. I’m ashamed to admit it. Really cramps my style. My penis is so incredibly sensitive, I just cum way too fast. With anyone else, or alone, either way. I can’t even edge at all. HELP ME!

RESPONSE: There’s nothing to be ashamed of here. You’re brave to speak out honestly on this. It’s a far more common issue for men than you might imagine. Also, there is the opposite issue, of guys who get hard and enjoy stimulation but have a difficult time getting to the orgasm. Your extreme sensitivity, I totally understand, because I was something like that myself until my early 40s, when I discovered what I call Mindful Masturbation. I’m still extremely sensitive, but I’ve learned to make ejaculation a choice. I learned to enjoy intense pure penis pleasure for as long and I want to stay in that glorious place indefinitely.

With an introduction by the inimitable Joseph Kramer, the book is written by Bruce P. Grether, the originator of the phrase “Mindful Masturbation.” He had me at the opening of his preface, in which he writes This book is about only one thing: your relationship with your penis. His book speaks to the experience so many bators have of connecting to something divine during bate, connecting to all things, all times, all men who have ever masturbated, past, present and future.

What’s with all the semen retention talk? I like to ejaculate!   QUESTION: Sometimes I get the impression that you try to discourage ejaculation (AKA practice semen retention). Yes, I’ve seen that you say it…

QUESTION: My holiest shrine in the whole wide world is right here, between my own legs! Holy Phallus! Your GOLDEN PHALLUS book is right: this is what it’s truly all about for men, admit it…

QUESTION: Growing up, I always heard that jerking-off was the same as wasting time. Masturbators were losers. Now, I know better. Bators are winners and I love it, but that shadow of doubt is still…

Make Love To A Toy Hey, Bators! Welcome back; MyB8Buddy here recapping another sexy episode of The Great BateWorld BateOff S2, the best (and ONLY of its kind!) bate competition. If you missed it last…