Masturbation Has No Orientation

Meeting Bate Buddies

I get questions sometimes from other Bateworld members asking for tips on how to meet bate buddies. While there’s no magic formula, I thought I’d share from my own experiences hoping it might spark some ideas. Names are changed.

I’ve been to bate parties with 25 guys, and circle jerks which included 5 or 6. These were great experiences but I have to say the best mutual sessions for me are with one or two other buds. I’ve met guys on Bateworld, but I’ve also had the good fortune to have many long time friends, who I assumed were straight, but over the years as we got to know each other we discovered each other was bi and we started to bate. These are true stories. My advice is that while there are risks, I’ve found that mutual disclosure with friends and trust are key.

Mark was the first guy I jerked off with. We worked together at a music store in our late teens and early twenties. We started to hang out and one day when he was over we were smoking weed and sharing some beers when the subject of masturbation came up. Did we both do it? How often? What techniques did we use? How far did we shoot? Needless to say, this got us both worked up so I got bold and asked if he’d like to do it right then, and he did. We jacked off there in my bedroom in separate twin beds. Fast forward, we both got married and Mark moved away for 20 years. After a divorce he moved back to town and we picked up where we left off enjoying some guy time together.

Gavin is married with kids. We were best friends and work colleagues. One night we were out of town drinking at a bar and went back to our hotel room. We started joking about watching hotel porn. One thing led to another and we escalated pretty quickly winding up on separate beds jerking off. We haven’t done it again since, and he felt a little guilty later, but we remain close friends.

I’ve known Danny since college days. It took over 20 years, and both getting married to women, before we came out to each other as bi. That was after he got divorced. One day on a bike ride he told me about an experience he had jerking off with a friend. This gave me an idea and one day I texted him and asked if he’d like to jack off together watching porn. He said he would and we wound up at his place having an amazing jerk session in separate chairs. For the past several years I’ve considered Danny my “best bate bud” one-on-one and we tag team sometimes inviting other guys we meet on Bateworld to join us for three-way bate sessions.

Mateo was the first guy I jacked off with who I met on Bateworld. He is gay and lives in Miami with his husband. Neither of us was out to our spouse at the time and we met on the DL. I am attracted to younger guys and he is into older. He likes my hairy dad bod type I like his smooth, shorter frame. He also has a big penis. We met first at a mall to make sure we both clicked and we did. Mateo was perfect in a way as a first from BW. He was caring and helped me achieve an amazing orgasm with his skilled hands.

When meeting guys on Bateworld I like to get to know them first through messaging. We might then share face pics and meet for drinks before deciding to bate. This allows an opportunity to see if we both click and either party can back out, no harm – no foul, including if there are red flags. Naturally, sometimes it doesn’t work out and when that happens I appreciate those guys who are up front and just say, “Not a match,” rather than ghosting.

Joey was another work colleague. After I left that job we had dinner one evening and we came out to each other as bi. He gave me a kiss in the parking lot and we wound up bating together a few times and even explored some kinks we both enjoyed.

I met Brett through an online support group for bi husbands who are out to their wives. He is my age and he had dinner with my wife and I and helped us open our marriage (you can read our stories on The Bator Blog). We decided we’d like to bate together, and have several times, and plan to more. We meet at a local gay, nudist resort where he stays when he’s in town.

Barry was another guy I met recently on Bateworld who identifies as gay. Like Brett, he comes down to visit during the winter months and gets a place on the beach. We bated one-on-one first and recently he hosted a circle jerk which included a bukkake guy.

I also have friends who I’ve tested the waters with where they’ve declined. One straight, single friend is LGBTQ affirming and knows I am bi. We’ve talked about how we both watch porn and I asked if he would like to do that together sometime and he said no. It hasn’t affected our friendship and we still joke around about being in the “man cave,” our code for masturbating to porn. I have another friend who is bi and we’ve watched straight porn together but he chooses not to bate. I’m also just not his type.

Something I struggle with is bating with married guys. I have an open marriage with my wife that allows for me to bate with buds, and I prefer that my married bate partners are open too. However, I started out on the DL and hold no judgment against guys for whom being open simply isn’t possible now. Besides, I am happily married and have no interest either in leaving my wife, nor taking them away from their wife or husband.

I hope these accounts have given some ideas on how to meet bate buds. The complete, graphic stories about most of the encounters are written up in my member blog on Bateworld. Also, share your stories in comments about how you meet bate buds.

Author Stefan Jax is known as Doggyboner on Bateworld.

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1 reply
  1. Challenged
    Challenged says:

    Wow, great to see how guys meet others for bating. I find bateworld perfect for meeting bate buds, but before that, I have met guys on craigslist and adam4adam. Most guys from those two sites wanted more than bating, which is fine. I also like to meet guys somewhere public before going home with them, as I need to feel comfy and safe before play. Happy playing folks, just be safe..


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