One of the big additional “benefits” of masturbation, especially for hetero married couples, is that it helps bridge the often difficult period of menopause. This, of course, assumes that both partners have already embraced masturbation, both individually and as a couple. Let me share with you our own genuine experience.
When we first met as teens decades ago, we had both already embraced masturbation. Being a couple of normal, healthy, horny teens, we were both eager to begin indulging in oral sex and intercourse with one another, but that didn’t mean we were going to abandon having sex with ourselves. We had no intention of giving up solosex
just because we could now enjoy other forms of pleasure.
Perhaps most importantly, we didn’t consider masturbation to be a “secondary” or inferior form of sexual pleasure. Sex was a big, beautiful, all-you-can-eat buffet (no pun intended), and we enjoyed each form of pleasure for the sensations it provided.
Also significant is that we allowed one another the personal space necessary to enjoy private pleasures, whatever they might be. It’s time to love ourselves. And we also “came together” regularly to enjoy moments of shared masturbation. We both enjoyed viewing forms of adult erotica.
Now, right here, we obviously have a bridge that many couples will never cross. People lack the “courage” to come out to one another about lots of things, and masturbation is probably near the top of a lot of lists. But that’s why I always encourage young people considering a relationship to broach the topic of masturbation during their dating periods.
Couples always start out with fairly safe topics like favorite foods, music, movies, books, etc., but few ever get around to the topic of masturbation. Sex, yes, but rarely masturbation.
Because we were always “masturbation positive,” when my wife finally got to the point where her vaginal tissues could no longer sustain the kind of vigorous penetrative sex she had always enjoyed, she suggested that we just indulge in more shared masturbation, since we always enjoyed that.
How often do you see complaints by married men about their wife declining interest in penetrative sex? And to be absolutely honest, yes, I was sorry I could no longer pump my cock in her, but because we had both always embraced masturbation, foregoing intercourse wasn’t as huge a loss for either of us.
Now, can couples who have, for decades, either denied or concealed masturbation come around to being open and honest about it? It can happen. Most often, it doesn’t. Again, that’s why I urge couples to be open, communicative, and honest about their sexual preferences. Because in the very beginning, if you discover that this other person really has serious issues with masturbation, then they probably aren’t the one you’ve been seeking, regardless of their physical beauty or whatever.
So, we’ve been Jacking and Jilling together almost since day one, and I’ve loved every minute of it. Masturbation has certainly played a part in our relationship, a respected part.
Masturbating with or for a partner is one of the most intimate things two people can do together. Due to the traditionally taboo nature of masturbation, and its usually secretive nature, shared masturbation is more intimate than penetrative sex. It’s a full, complete opening up of your body and its needs to another, connecting you on an ever deeper level.
Thank you. I need to better understand my wife’s feelings. I’m horny all the time and am a chronic masturbator. I can’t get enough.
My wife and I haven’t had any sexual contact since last April; so we are getting close to a year. The previous 5 years saw a rapid diminishment in her interest, excitement and initiation. I have been a life long masturbator and now find masturbation more rewarding than ever. I would love to masturbate with my wife. I would love to have us sit or lie side by side or facing each other and watching us please each other. That would be so fulfilling. However, having been married for over 42 years, hearing my wife’s comments and knowing well her attitude, I know it is not going to happen. Some men here will say that I need to communicate this to her. Like I already stated, after 42 years I know her well enough to not bing this up. I don’t blame her for her lost libido…it happens to many aging couples but seems to especially affect women more. Nonetheless, I still fantasize about us masturbating together. Bate on, brothers.
I share many of the same experiences you have had with your wife and time as a solo bator. I suggest you try the milovana tease “teaching you a lesson”. I did with my wife and I feel it helped us cross over a barrier. I now share my bating with my wife at times and she does with me. It is still not the same as full on sex, but we both get excited and have a great time. She is even letting me get half my dick in her and cum in her pussy. It feels great after years without the main course
If you were married at 25, that makes you about 67. I’m 70 and haven’t had “sex” with my wife for 8 years. But it is not all her fault: it is hard to get hard. And, I love masturbating! Actually, I prefer it. I can do it whenever (in bed or the shower), 2-3 times per week, and she has no issues. She does like me to give her a vibrator job once per week.It is nice to be free of the “screwing” chore; I have much better orgasms jacking off. And she when I vibrate her. Bate on!
You have joined a huge group of men who still very much want sexual contact but whose wives have lost much or even all of their interest.
Generally, this is caused by hormonal changes. The good news is this can be reversed. Find a doctor who specializes in Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT). These doctors are great at reversing female and male hormone changes and can decrease the difficulties of aging. Both of you will be glad you searched for help. You don’t need to suffer in this way.
“That’s why I always encourage young people considering a relationship to broach the topic of masturbation during their dating periods… I urge couples to be open, communicative, and honest about their sexual preferences. Because in the very beginning, if you discover that this other person really has serious issues with masturbation, then they probably aren’t the one you’ve been seeking, regardless of their physical beauty or whatever.”
This all stands as great advice to young masturbators entering into romantic, long-term relationships. Don’t keep your identity as a masturbator secret from your partner. Tell them!
Even better, mutually masturbate with them. You will both gain appreciation of each other’s appreciation of masturbation if you masturbate together. Mutual masturbation provides among the safest sex you’ll experience with your partner (though not foolproof — be careful where that semen ends up!) and, if you’re inexperienced, can help introduce you to the rich rewards of partnered sex.
Mutual masturbation is wonderful, but so is solo masturbation. Don’t expect to abandon solo masturbation just because you’ve scored a partner. Make sure they know you intend to continue masturbating on your own into the relationship, and be sure to respect their desire to do the same. There’s plenty of room for both partnered sex and solo masturbation in this life.