SOLOPHILIA: A 21st Century Sexuality by M. B. Timothy (Saboteur)

In this new post, M.B. Timothy (Saboteur on Bateworld), exalts solosexuality as an act of goodwill which benefits all. This essay is about the very modern sex lives of masturbators – the intersection of pleasure, technology and ethics. This is an excerpt from Timothy’s an anthology of essays on advanced masturbation called REAL MEN MASTURBATE, covering edging, gooning and handsfree ejaculation. He has also written CEDAR: An Ode To Masturbation, available now on Amazon, a sensual celebration of solosexuality through fact and fiction. Timothy has been published numerous times on The Bator Blog and he is dedicated to masturbation and body pride. He has been called a Guru of Technique and an Evangelist of Self Love. He masturbates every day.


There exists an entire generation of men alive on earth right now for whom pleasuring their own penises through masturbation is sex. Masturbation is not simply “getting off.” These men masturbate themselves morning and night. They devote entire days to it. Their penises are erect for a higher proportion of their waking lives than men of other sexualities. This generation of men is having more fun and more sex than any other.

I am one of these men.

There exists a whole brotherhood of self-pleasurers. We are in the midst of a solosexual revolution which flies in the face of efforts to diminish it. This brotherhood taps into men everywhere, whether bators or not. The urge to masturbate is a commonality which exists in all men. We have always and we will always masturbate. This ancient way to make pleasure is within our DNA. Connecting with this part of ourselves is about honouring our bodies and our life. Masturbating is our biologically given right to pleasure. This is not new.

Solophilia is new. The Solophile is made by the modern world. A Solophile is aroused by masturbation. It may be images or thoughts of others masturbating, or it may be the idea of himself masturbating which compels him to put his own hand on himself. Before the internet, men masturbated in private. The Solophile could not have existed without the internet. The solosexual revolution caught spark with the internet and that fire has spread through the world.

It is fascinating to consider how technology intersects with the ancient practice of masturbation. Technology has allowed men who have previously masturbated in secret to form associations. Men have found each other in chat rooms, on Bateworld, on forums, previously on Tumblr and now on Twitter. It crosses age, race, socio-economic background, sexual orientation and matters of the body. Men everywhere are coming out as bators. We have built an online community which exists with a driving purpose to encourage men to masturbate – more often and more deeply.

Being a part of this means you are not alone. Feeling supported means you have found your tribe. The Solophile takes his masturbation out of the closet. They take masturbation on as an identity. They encourage others to find their identities and they share.

My bate fuels yours. Yours fuels mine and his. We are brothers.

If there exists a “philosophy” behind Solosexuality it is in fraternity, modernism and sexual freedom. In the bate community, all men can freely bate their penis. We fuel ourselves through pornography, video-conferencing, self-recording, mirrors and smartphones. Some find each other online but meet up for a face to face, penis to penis encounter in real life. These connections are fostered in the relative safety of online beginnings. This is why the online community is powerfully relevant.

The recent demise of Tumblr’s liberation saw just how powerfully corporations can crush sexual expression. There was a great deal of shared information on Tumblr which was helpful to many on their solosexual journeys. This loss has not dampened our community though. We built something good and they cannot tear it down.

Bators are forming very strong and compelling friendships online. Those friendships are real. They may spend most of their time masturbragging about their bate, sure, but is that any different to how most friends “shoot the breeze?”

The pornosexual male who has lengthy and beautiful sex while watching hours of pornography is not a sad man. He is a man who has responded to the modern world. He is having sex in a new way. It involves himself and affects no one else.

The solosexual who gets off taking pictures or videos of himself masturbating, only to play them back while he masturbates, is using technology to fuel self love. It seems a pretty healthy use of technology to me.

The bator who fires up his webcam, spreads his leg wide before his screen and bates his penis is a hero. This man exposes his sexuality for all the world to see. Consenting adults love looking at erect penises. They are powerfully alluring. The exposed bator gives to many what was previously only given to a few.

I can now strap on a vibrating cock ring, give you remote access to it, and you can masturbate my swollen taint for me. Thank you to the wonders of the internet.

In the future I will strap myself into a contraption, put on a headset, and you all can line up to edge my big dick. There is no reason why such a world should not exist. Men like me want to have sex this way. It is not hurting anyone. It is not unethical. It is not illegal. It is, instead, beautiful and wondrous and incredible to consider my brother on the other side of the earth stimulating my pleasure in the here and now.

Solosex is a wonderful thing to cultivate. Masturbators like me are simply exploring a new way to have sex. Sexuality is ours. It is yours and it is mine. Others may work hard to have us be sexual in ways which are palatable to them, but we must resist.

Men who masturbate together can never be enemies. Men who masturbate together see across the divide of what separates us to see the essence of the other. The future is bright for masturbators because our tribe is growing. Solophilia fosters empathy. When I masturbate to images of you masturbating, I feel for a moment as you are. This is why solosexuality should be nourished and shared. No other sexuality comes close to the empathic connection forged between two masturbating men.

The world needs more open, shared masturbation. If more men can redefine their sexual roles in the world, we will have fewer problems.

Expose yourself. Use your computer. Masturbrag. Seek out bators. Watch men self-pleasure. Make solophilia your sexuality. You will find other solophilic brothers and you will never be alone.

Ejaculate your sperm over me. Let me be the receptacle of your spectacle. I will return the favour.

By sharing and showing, we expand consciousness of solosex. I have learnt so much from bearing witness to my brothers’ masturbation. Proliferation of information about masturbation is key. We are all learning how each other masturbates. The internet is there to facilitate this.

I am a proud bator and I love that I have a modern sexuality.

For more from Saboteur:

Living As A Solosexual: A Manifesto – An excerpt from CEDAR: An Ode To Masturbation

Masturbation Affirmation: Overcoming Shame – An excerpt from CEDAR: An Ode To Masturbation

Discover your sexuality and become a Bateworld PREMIUM MEMBER today!

11 replies
  1. Bruce P. Grether
    Bruce P. Grether says:

    Wonderful post, Brother Saboteaur! Empowering, eloquent , wise. Thanks for all you do to encourage happy solosexuality for men. You term “solophilia” is great! Another term that I coined is “phallosophia,” meaning penis wisdom. I really witness daily the truth that when men practice set;f-pleasure as sea-love, it opens out hearts, helps us be better balanced, happier, and more resilient. We touch into our inner self with passion and tenderness this way. Peace, BPG

  2. Michael
    Michael says:

    It may have taken decades for me to finally understand why I never felt completely happy, but by the time I had finished reading my first article about solosexuality I finally knew why. Coming out as Solo to myself and others was even more rewarding and liberating than coming out as gay some 30 years ago! The veil had been lifted and I knew that this was who i was meant to be and where I belonged. Bate on, Brothers!!

    • Islandbator
      Islandbator says:

      Hey Michael. So happy you are completely happy and understand the love and beauty we find in being solosexuals. My solo life gets better and better I am liberated and happy, it is who I am and what I love to do. I would enjoy saying hello if you like. BW has opened so many of us in only positive ways. Bate on my man!!

  3. jake22cm
    jake22cm says:

    I love my solopenis. I used to feel ashamed of my needs to constantly masturbate, of my mirror-bating, of my deep strong feelings towards my long fat cock, but no more. I hold him in both hands and his pleasures fill me and we are happy. I am a solophile, solobaor, self-worshiper, staring at my cock, watching his cum vids as I milk him. Changed my life, my schedule, to be able to self-love more and more of each day. Milking my glory. What else is there, really, whn you are pure solo, he is all that matters, drives me, loves me as I love him. Pure sololove.

  4. apalmer5
    apalmer5 says:

    Same here, used to feel ashamed for my need to masturbate. Yet the pleasures are so amazing it’s impossible to stop, well its been that way for me. 50+ years of masturbating, and much of it daily. As some point I think many of us realize that its totally ok to pleasure ourselves. And its really no big deal. To be a bator, a soloist or whatever term we prefer to use. Both men & women. Over the years I’ve had some wonderful women solo sex cyber pals. We’re all here for the reason(s), sexual pleasure. And I’ve had several attempts at sex with gals too. But I was always a soft cock whenever I got with a gal for sex which of course doesn’t work well for fucking. Even though I so badly wanted to pleasure them with penetration. And I always chickened out letting them know I’m an avid bator and maybe we could do something together that way. Yet sex with myself I always got erect.

    And at some point realized I’m solo-sexual. Yet do enjoy sharing it here with other bators, especially helping each other get off on skype. I think masturbation really is meant to be a team sport. And its easy & wonderful to share. The community here is friendly, nice and so open. Wonderful that we have a place & space to share our thoughts about our personal sexual interests & needs. Nor to be ashamed about it, its just so natural. It’s in our dna.

    • stevetlane
      stevetlane says:

      love this comment so much bro.

      love that it can be a solo sport as much as a team one.

      the connections i’ve made with bators, edgers, anw popperbators too have been amazing via bateworld, and skype.

      london jack off club, and nyjacks, give me the team side of things and that is pure heaven, watching and helping a 100+ guys go hard, go deep, and go pure pleasure via their penises.

      long may and will it continue!

    • jake22cm
      jake22cm says:

      ‘ But I was always a soft cock whenever I got with a gal for sex which of course doesn’t work well for fucking. Even though I so badly wanted to pleasure them with penetration. And I always chickened out letting them know I’m an avid bator and maybe we could do something together that way. Yet sex with myself I always got erect.’

      Because u are pure solo. He will only and always throb hardest for your own hands, feeling the self-love that cums from your own hands milking him. Not for ‘sex’. Its why you only harden from your own touches, selfsex making u so erect.

      No one else can satisfy solocock like ourself. Solophilia controls us. Drawn constantly to penis. To be naked and milking all the time.

      • apalmer5
        apalmer5 says:

        Yes, he’s been so accustomed to my own handiwork. I’m not drawn constantly, once I’ve done the deed I’m good for the day. At 64 usually once a day suits my sexual needs.

  5. Stefan Jax
    Stefan Jax says:

    Wow! Just a wonderful, life and sex affirming and inspiring article. It gives me more pride as a masturbator and makes me want to share more and do this right now

  6. Bruce
    Bruce says:

    Love this essay. Nothing is, to me, more affirming than the connection I share which another male when we are lost in the act of pleasuring ourselves in celebration of our manhood.

  7. Brandon
    Brandon says:

    Great post and glad to know there are so many others like us who are solosexual bators. I love my penis and I love masturbating any chance I get. I used to to think like others I was alone, watching myself masturbate in the mirror. But I have realized how proud I am of it now, and how much great pleasure I get from love of my own penis in my hand, stroking in the masturbatory bliss. MalePenisPower brothers!


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