Introducing Gooning: Portrait of a Masturbator

My name is Jason Armstrong.  I’m the author of a sex blog called Hunting for Sex: Cautionary Tales from the Quest.  The blog began in May of 2012 and was put on hiatus in November of 2013 when I decided to put my energies toward a book tentatively titled Gooning: Portrait of a Masturbator.  The blog was achieving its goal of building a dialogue between myself and readers from around the world.  An essay from the blog was even contracted to appear in the upcoming anthology Best Sex Writing 2015 by Cleis Press.

“When masturbation is the subject of a book you’re writing, every bate gets to be categorized as “research”.  I am indeed writing a book about masturbation, and I do “research” every day.  I often scribble down notes on a notepad as inspiration or revelation hit me during a bate.  A lot of my pens are sticky.”

But things changed radically for me a year ago when I discovered BateWorld.  Within BateWorld, I saw my authentic self and sexuality reflected back at me.  My blog was for all intents supposed to be about hunting for sex, but I was hunting for sex less and less.  And it showed on the blog.  A reader emailed me to remark that I was increasingly writing about masturbation and less about partnered, penetrative sex. 

Despite my penchant for masturbation, I, like many men, believed that masturbation was the snack until the real meal came along – namely, the aforementioned partnered, penetrative sex.  But I seemed to be skipping meals and gorging on the so-called snack.  The blog reader went so far as to suggest that I might be solosexual, to which I replied “What the hell is a solosexual?”  He sent me the link to BateWorld and bemoaned that he probably wouldn’t hear from me again for months, alluding to how engrossed I would be by the site.

My latent but now obvious realization was that masturbation was not a peripheral part of my sexuality, but central.  However, in society, masturbation has never been afforded equal respect to partnered, penetrative sex.  Though most informed people would consider masturbation healthy, they might renege on that if one dared to claim that masturbation was THE preferred sexual activity.

I love to fight for an underdog, and it incensed me that masturbation was so often sneered at or reduced to a joke.  Such perspectives shocked me because I knew the nirvana, the extraordinary sexual bliss that could be achieved through the bate.  You could say that I wanted to share the good news and in writing about masturbation, I gave meaning to the profound feeling induced during masturbation.

And yet, for me, any profound bliss I might feel by way of my sexuality is hard won.  I don’t believe any of us have not had to fight obstacles in the path to sexual bliss.  Obstacles to sexual bliss can be societal, physiological, psychological.  Religious beliefs, body image, addictions – all of this is dealt with in the book.

The book is largely written though it continues to evolve as I’m still living it.  My writing here on The Bator will be a sort of “behind the scenes” look at what it’s been like to write a book about masturbation – the good, the bad and every thing in between. In hindsight, it’s so clear now that while I thought I was hunting for sex, I was really hunting for me.  Thank you for joining me on the journey.

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