Honing your online skills: Words of Arousal

Ear to Ear

Insights from a bating sexologist, Dr. Jallen Rix (hand2rod)

“You don’t just masturbate… you display, you exhibit your sexuality as much for the viewer’s pleasure as your own… it pleasures you to masturbate for us… you look at the camera as if watching us watching you as you entertain us with your naked self-pleasure. It’s that desire to be enjoyed sexually by others that I find so erotic about you. xxx”

This compliment from articulate bator extraordinaire, PornDog, appeared underneath one of my recent videos on BateWorld, and it demonstrates a great feature of creating connection online. In the literal world of internet words – messages, texts, tweet, blogs, and so on… obviously, one of the most powerful tools you can use to “make friends” is giving compliments.

Conversely, it’s a lot easier in this word-addled reality to swing in the opposite direction. It’s much easier to be negative, WAY negative – judging, criticizing, sarcasm, snakiness, making fun of… It’s not just an observation, but there’s a lot of scientific research on it. To be brief, our minds have been trained to respond quickly to negative input (fight or flight), yet our brains often respond slowly to happier experiences (we want to savor the good stuff). Therefore, we get used to spitting venom at the blink of an eye, but to give a genuine compliment, it can feel like we have to bring our whole fast-paced society to a crawl.

As a result, there tends to be a ton of negative, critical, judgmental, content in everyday life, and a real shortage of optimistic perspectives. That’s why a well placed, sincere statement of gratitude or affirmation can literally change the course of your day, not to mention the course of someone’s life.

Actually, compliments are some of the easiest positive communications one can make, but good ones can take some thought. Ya just see what you like and genuinely respond to it. Heck! It works on or off the Net. You want to meet that new person across the bar or in a social setting? Walk up and tell them WHY you want to meet them. Yes, it’s scary and vulnerable. That’s the adventurous part of being you! There’s a chance that someone can’t take the compliment – they wig out, they deny it, they ignore it, they think you’re weird. Yes, it stings a bit when they can’t appreciate your attempt to put something positive out into the public eye, especially when it’s about them, for goodness sake. But if they can’t see your sincere desire to connect, it sure tells you a lot about them.

One way I keep the fear of rejection at a low level is to focus on the GIVING of the compliment rather than what I want to get from it. I use to say to certain guys, “Thanks for not shaving your chest, it’s really sexy” because I was hoping to get a chance to rub my face in a beautiful bed of fur. If a guy responded negatively, then I considered it a failure – “rejection.” But nowadays, my motivation has shifted. We’ve got way too much negativity and judgmentalism in the world, and way too much to be grateful for, so I try to give out positive reinforcement, and compliments as much as possible without any requirement to respond. It’s how I want to be in the world, rather than what I want to get from someone else. It doesn’t come from a need to get a response back, and guess what? As a result, I hardly ever feel any real rejection. Furthermore, when some hairy stud then does let me rub my face on his chest – it’s a win/win!

As I said, we need all the positive reinforcement we can choke down to combat the unbridled avalanche of negativity, so speak up. BateWorld is a great place to practice. General compliments are always welcome – “Fuck yeah, bro, blow that load!” “Nice bate.” “Go, bator, go!” (sometimes, that’s about all I can type with one hand – wink!) I think one of the reasons BW feels like such a safe place is that we really are pretty complimentary. The comments section on a given page is almost always a “compliments section.”

Furthermore, like porndogs’ compliment, the more detailed you can be about what arouses you in a video or photo or profile, the more opportunity you give that person to connect with you, and vice versa. When Porndog sent me that message, I found myself thinking, “Wow! This guy really took the time to see me. He gets what I’m about. Who knows how many others see me too and just don’t respond.” It makes me feel validated, encouraged, sexy and hard! I can’t find a downside to this. Over time, PD and I have created a nice lil’ friendship all though he’s on the other side of the planet. Is that not reason enough to feel abundantly grateful! What an amazing time we live in!

So the next time you see something really hot or arousing or fun or beautiful, say something about it. Lay your hands or lay your words on it and bless the Dickens out of it in your own unique way. Despite the crazy hard times we live in, we still have so much to be grateful for. Let’s create a snowball effect in a positive direction. Don’t be silent, celebrate it. That’s why I always put in my videos, “The more compliments you make, the more I bate!”

Dr. Jallen Rix is a sexologist in Palm Springs California, and he hopes you’ll join him for the second BateWorld Cock Summit in 2017, September 15-17.

19 replies
  1. jimbowe
    jimbowe says:

    WOW, Dr. Rix
    TERRIFIC BLOGG!
    ya know what, bud?,,you’re right!
    love your very inspirational message, and i WILL remember it, and keep your words close to my heart.
    thankyou!

    Reply
  2. Doggyboner
    Doggyboner says:

    Great blog and a great point. We can and do so much to lift one another up on here by our sincere compliments of a guy’s dick and balls. It’s a great place to bond and form a true community of bators

    Reply
  3. CYFL
    CYFL says:

    Gotta say what a great story this is. I’m sure that lots of guys read it and went, “OK, nice. Next?” Which is ironic, considering that the whole point of the story is that we don’t say “thanks” or “nice job” or just generally give compliments nearly regularly enough.

    Thanks for a really wonderful article talking about how we SHOULD, as bate brothers, communicate. Now…who wants to do some filthy phone? }:)

    Reply
  4. Michael O'Riordan
    Michael O'Riordan says:

    It is such a relief for pent up anger and frustration. The best cardiovascular massage ever. Does anyone like to eat their cum? It’s pure protein and loaded with vitamins and minerals too. I always enjoy a good blast every couple of days or a lesser blast twice or three times daily…

    Reply
  5. Zoltan0721
    Zoltan0721 says:

    Complimentary, friendly banter (either text message or verbal) adds so much to my masturbation. With similar guys, we have found that it really is “having sex!” I love it.

    Reply
  6. sgtbilko
    sgtbilko says:

    Great post. Really articulates one of the fantastic qualities of bate brotherhood. The positive comments and interactions I’ve experienced here on Bateworld have done amazing things for my self confidence and well being. I’d also say as someone sometimes shy to interact with guys I’m attracted to, I’ve found it a lot easier to give compliments online. I have so much respect for all of the baters here who expose and share openly and positively. It enhances by bate immensely and I really hope to do the same for others

    Reply
  7. Porndog
    Porndog says:

    Did I really write that? There I go again, being all articulate! I prefer to write something meaningful and sincere because I like to get comments myself that are meaningful and sincere – as well as being positive. I haven’t any time for negativity here on BW. What’s the point in being nasty? There are plenty bators that I don’t find in the slightest bit attractive or who engage in practices that turn me off completely (Sounding! Eeeaaauuuuuggggghhhhh!!!!) but there’s no need to say anything about it. It’s not their fault that I don’t like this or that. Let them have their fun – I don’t need to watch. Like granny said, “If you haven’t got anything nice to say then don’t say anything at all”. Wise words, although I suspect that she didn’t have online male masturbatory exhibitionism in mind when she said it. At least, I hope not. That would really weird me out. The fact is that words reflect our minds and its through the meeting of minds that true eroticism is found. In a sense, I masturbate with my mind, not just with my hands and I want to find validation and communion through this meeting of masturbators’ minds – thus my propensity for wordage. Also, Id like to pay genuine tribute to the good Dr Rix. He’s beautiful both in body and in spirit and I want to thank him for this blog post that echoes what I feel about the importance of meaningful, positive communication here in BW. x x x

    Reply
  8. Anonymous
    Anonymous says:

    I agree, it’s a great thing to find good words for people either in BW or elsewhere in life. However, there is a lot to be said for the other side of things, which is learning to take a compliment. It’s easy to make a communication about someone being sexy or hot on camera, and then the next thing you know they have pulled the cord and vanished, which is not only rude but makes you wonder why you bothered in the first place. (I may be guilty of venting a little bit here, but that is exactly what happened when I paid a cammer an outright compliment this afternoon.)

    Reply
    • hand2rod
      hand2rod says:

      Yes, crazy that many people just are so hard on themselves they have no idea how to take a compliment. Still, I’m gonna give them whenever I have the urge!

      Reply
  9. Batorjunkie
    Batorjunkie says:

    I really enjoyed reading this article! It reinforces the sense of community that I experience each time that I visit. The guys that participate really make this site unique.

    Reply
  10. apalmer5
    apalmer5 says:

    True, many of us appreciate a kind or complimentary comment on the photos in our album. And yes some do elaborate more than others. And conversations sometimes begin as well.

    Reply
  11. Adammmmm
    Adammmmm says:

    I agree, sir! I enjoy being incredibly verbal when having sex (bating and otherwise) and am an encourager at heart. So, I see a dude with a beautiful erection, you bet I’m going to tell him. I might be the only (or the hottest) compliment to him that day and maybe he’ll remember my saying so at another time. I have learned that many other bate buds on here appreciate my bush (as do i) and i get so hard when a dude sends me a note or makes a comment to tell me how much their admire my thick cock bush, or my curved erect penis with the proud helmet head (and i’m not big, so those compliments go a Long long way for this guy).

    I’d love to see your vids, too, as PornDog and I seem to like many of the same things. How do I find them?

    Reply
    • hand2rod
      hand2rod says:

      Hey Adammmmm,

      Are you a premium member on Bateworld? That’s where you can see them I got over 50 of them, under the name of hand2rod Enjoy!!!!!

      Reply

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