Life After “The Little Death”
We are taught that as men we build to an [simple_tooltip style=”font-weight:600;cursor:pointer;position:relative;color:#ff6600″ content=’
Orgasm (from Greek ὀργασμός orgasmos “excitement, swelling”; also sexual climax) is the sudden discharge of accumulated sexual excitement during the sexual response cycle, resulting in rhythmic muscular contractions in the pelvic region characterized by sexual pleasure.
‘]orgasm[/simple_tooltip], ejaculate and then require a refractory period before we can reach those heights again. Our erections go soft and though we may still remain aroused, we are physically incapable of shooting sperm or making our penises spasm with pleasure unless we wait. For some that wait time is minutes, for others it’s hours or even days. Though we’ve come to accept this as a normal part of the male sexual response, I know I speak for all of us when I say that however long that wait time is, it’s too long!
There’s a reason the French call orgasm “the little death.” For edgers, it can really kill the mood. But what if I said the French were wrong? What if I said what you’ve been taught is wrong?
The truth is, your orgasm is far more mysterious and complex than you realize. I should know. I have spent a lifetime mastering my orgasm. As soon as I discovered masturbation I was climaxing somewhere between six to eight times per day every day. One day I went thirteen times.
That kind of regularity of orgasm causes a lot of mess. Plus a lot of evidence that could be used against me. Remember this was a time when I felt shame about whacking off. Now I’m a proud bator so things have changed. But somewhere during my late teens my masturbation went from a means by which I waded as much sperm as I could to a focused and sustained mastery over edging.
What changed? My pursuit of the goal changed. I moved the goal.
The Male Orgasm Defined
Firstly, it is useful to define what male orgasm actually is. If you say “shooting sperm” then you don’t belong in my class! That’s not even half of it. A few spasms of your rigid rod while you spray your stickies over yourself or the furniture doesn’t complete the picture either.
Your orgasm and your ejaculation are not one and the same.Your orgasm and your ejaculation are not one and the same. They are linked, but they are separate. It is important to see your orgasm as both inside and outside of you. Sure, you are cumming when you see cum shoot from your dick, but you are also cumming in the moments before you shoot: all men know this sensation and it is often referred to as “The Point of No Return.”
What I teach my students is that male orgasm is even deeper and more mysterious than that. I would go further as to posit that you have begun cumming well before you hit there. It may even have begun hours before you hit there. Did you mind just blow?
An orgasm is an involuntary spasm. It feels fucking great. It is why we masturbate, why we edge, why sometimes we call in sick for work or turn up late for the party. Your penis is involuntarily spasming in your hand right now. Feel it? There. Just there. In those moments when your hand stops pounding even briefly and your cock responds with a kick. Your orgasm goes back as far as that.
My happy place is not shooting sperm. My happy place is hovering just before the Point of No Return when my penis is spasming all over the place. I cease pounding at this point and my penis throbs three, four, five or six times. Actual spasming throbs and each spasm send bolts of warm electricity through me. Waves circle out, radiating within me at high intensity. Here I am in the throes of orgasm. These are orgasms. They are deep and pleasurable and, as opposed to sperming, can be attained one after another without observing a refractory period.
I want you to practice. Become more mindful of how deep your orgasm is. Note where it begins, where it intensifies. Hover close to the “Point of No Return” and feel those throbs, man!
Perfect this technique and you might graduate to what you really came here for, the tools to ejaculate sperm over and over again in the old-fashioned idea of multiple male orgasms without a refractory period. Okay, okay, so I know how to do that too, and I promise I will teach it to you, but first you must arrive at the realization that your orgasm is epic and incremental. You may well spend your entire life trying to unravel its mystery. At this stage, what is most important is recognizing that your orgasm and your ejaculation are separate.
It might take some time to perfect, but can you think of anything else you’d rather be practicing?
Male Multiple Ejaculatory Orgasms: A Case Study (1998). Beverly Whipple Rutgers, Brent R. Myers, and Barry R. Komisaruk. Retrieved from https://www.researchgate.net/publication/290308739_Male_multiple_ejaculatory_orgasms_A_case_study.