My brother left his laptop open and I saw his Bateworld profile: photos and vids. I’m scared, but excited too! What do I do? QUESTION: My older brother and I are both in college at…
Sometimes when I am in a sexually tense and very stimulating situation I will come quickly before I even get hard! Is that normal?
How do I tell my partner I’m a masturbator? QUESTION: My sex life with my partner is very healthy. How do I bring up my masturbation addiction to them, especially considering that I’m a chronic…
The idea that you lose life force after every ejaculation mostly comes from the ancient Taoist teachings from China, about cultivating erotic energy by experiencing intense, prolonged sexual stimulation, but then retaining your semen. This idea can also be found in the Tantra teachings of East India.
There is nothing wrong with what turns you on. This one probably qualifies as a sexual fetish. Such a fetish is usually a situation, a prop, a costume, an image, or any particular practice, even a role-playing fantasy, that heightens your arousal.
QUESTION: Is it wrong to fantasize about something that could be immoral, or even illegal while I masturbate? Some of those things just turn me on so intensely, man, like nothing else!
RESPONSE: Many people assume that fantasizing is what masturbation is all about. Of course, creative self-pleasure has many other major delicious facets. You can make a case for the fact that watching and listening to porn is a form of media-assisted fantasy, because you use the images that arouse you to stimulate your pleasure, and yet it remains vicarious. It is not what is actually happening here and now, though your sensations are real. But live-action porn did happen somewhere at some time and was recorded for an audience.
QUESTION: Bruce—I’ve looked at your site, which is great, and you seem to talk about masturbation being spiritual. How can this be, when religions and lots of people condemn it? Of course, I like it personally, that’s why I’m here. But spiritual? I don’t get that unless it’s, like, worshiping cock?
RESPONSE: Most definitely the pleasure your penis provides you with alters your consciousness, takes you into an exalted state, and can take you into a realm beyond words that some guys call gooning or monkey-bate babble. With all due respect to those who take religions seriously, those last experiences I mentioned remind me of “speaking in tongues,” or “glossolalia.” How can anything be more spiritual than these states where you go out of your mind in ecstasy, and enter the void of total oblivion? Each time you come back, is like a rebirth, right? Of course, you don’t need to agree with any of this.
QUESTION: I’m pretty decent-sized down South, almost 7 inches. A bit over 5 inches around at the thickest part of the shaft. Am I really big enough in the penis department? Is there something I can do? What can I do when I see really horse-hung guys online, and feel like a shrimp? I’m past twenty, but my body still grows a bit in spurts.
RESPONSE: Consider this carefully, because almost every man on Earth is in the same situation: Some men’s penises will be a bit smaller than yours, some a bit larger. But examined very closely, your penis is never exactly the same size—it’s always changing at least on the micro-scale, it’s expanding or contracting.
QUESTION: I’m uncut here in the USA, because my mother is sort of a Deadhead hippie type. She’s told me it’s more natural. I absolutely love my foreskin, but being in the minority in the showers at school, I notice some guys look at me funny, or even scowl. Should I say something?
RESPONSE: This can be a really sensitive subject, but unless someone says something to you or really looks freaked out, maybe it’s best to just appreciate the extra you’ve got. Try not to let anyone else’s opinion about you bother you on this, or anything else. Still, if someone says something that makes you feel weird, just say, “This is how I’m made, and I love it!” Who knows? He might even want a demonstration, or at least a bit of education!
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