QUESTION: I’m 27 years old in the military, and this is really embarrassing. I guess you call it premature ejaculation. I’m ashamed to admit it. Really cramps my style. My penis is so incredibly sensitive, I just cum way too fast. With anyone else, or alone, either way. I can’t even edge at all. HELP ME!
RESPONSE: There’s nothing to be ashamed of here. You’re brave to speak out honestly on this. It’s a far more common issue for men than you might imagine. Also, there is the opposite issue, of guys who get hard and enjoy stimulation but have a difficult time getting to the orgasm. Your extreme sensitivity, I totally understand, because I was something like that myself until my early 40s, when I discovered what I call Mindful Masturbation. I’m still extremely sensitive, but I’ve learned to make ejaculation a choice. I learned to enjoy intense pure penis pleasure for as long and I want to stay in that glorious place indefinitely.
…A lot of guys won’t just jack, they want to suck.”
QUESTION: I love the solo bate! Only when I’m with a guy, I love nothing better than rubbing cock2cock. Frot, you know? Best thing in the world, although a lot of guys won’t just jack, they want to suck. I even have a realistic dildo I frot my cock with. Am I weird? Is this a fetish?
RESPONSE: You are not weird at all, my friend. And you are far from alone in loving to rub your penis against the penis of a Phallic Brother. In fact, this is a special favorite of mine, which actually set me on my path to becoming an erotic activist. The truth is, I’ve encountered so many men of all kinds who tell me privately they love genital frottage with other guys, that I suspect a large percentage of human males would enjoy this practice intensely if it were encouraged.
QUESTION I am 43 and have been single for some time. I think my cock is getting smaller cause I only have a wank about once a week and cum quite quick when wanking, also I don’t get a proper hard on when wanking. Any advice on getting a bigger harder cock would be great. Many thanks.
RESPONSE: In fact, there is some truth to “If you don’t use it, you lose it.” With less use, meaning not masturbating often, or longer sessions, your penis can definitely seem smaller, and may actually lose size. I’ve encountered several men who went through prolonged periods with little or no sexual activity following a loss, an illness, or a traumatic breakup, who felt that when they resumed sexual activity, their penis was permanently smaller.
QUESTION: How can I give myself small ejaculations or semen releases without actually orgasming?
RESPONSE: Among the endless nuances of male masturbatory excellence are the refinements of what guys call “edging,” dry orgasms, or continuous orgasmic states. Edging generally means spending a lot of time highly aroused, close to orgasm, but not quite going over the edge into ejaculation—at least not until you’re ready to surrender and go over that irreversible Niagara Falls of oblivion.
QUESTION: Masturbating on vid chat, twice now there’s been a guy with a foreskin who told me I was missing something important, that I’m mutilated because I’m cut. What do you think? Is it a lot better to be uncut?
RESPONSE: All penises are wonderful, circumcised or not! Many men in the USA are still circumcised as infants, a custom that began with World War 2. Of course, Jewish and Islamic men usually are circumcised, mainly for religious reasons. As far as we know the ancient Egyptians invented circumcision. They had mythic and religious beliefs around it, but also in their hot climate, they apparently thought it was easier to keep an exposed penis head clean.
QUESTION: Since I was treated for a prostate issue, I don’t really shoot cum out, though I enjoy erections, still love stroking and have great orgasms. How do I deal with this when I masturbate with other guys?
RESPONSE: As we get older our prostate always continues to slowly grow bigger and bigger. Prostatitis, which is several different conditions, can include blockage of the urinary tract, which of course needs to be remedied. Recently, cases of prostate cancer are often evaluated differently than before. Many cases of such conditions are now known to progress very slowly and not present much danger.
QUESTION: I love to try different ways to give myself an orgasm. Is it possible for me to make myself ejaculate if I rub my scrotum? Where is the best part of my scrotum to touch?
RESPONSE: That’s a wonderful question, which opens the doors to all kinds of delicious and delightful pleasures! Most definitely, the skin of your scrotum is very sensitive. There are all sorts of ways to stimulate that soft, textured sac that contains your balls, as bonus additions to penis pleasure.
Question: I’ve heard that men are primarily visually stimulated, which is why porn is such a thriving industry. But, in my times alone I often prefer to close my eyes and listen to the sounds that come from porn. Have you ever heard of anyone else like this? Would you call it a fetish?
Response: According to studies, there is some truth to the idea that men are more turned on by the visual aspect of observing explicit sexual content than many women are, and that women more often associate emotional warmth with sexual arousal. However, this is only part of the story:
QUESTION: I’m at university and I’ve got a really hot straight buddy I’d love to jack-off with, but I’m not sure how he’d react, so how do I go about it? He’s in my room a lot. He knows I’m gay and says he doesn’t mind that. Anything to do with sex turns me on totally. But yeah, it’s guys and cocks that get me the most turned on. Help!
RESPONSE: You’ve got to decide for yourself how much you want or need to masturbate with your friend because you’re not sure how he will react. Consider how important his friendship is, and how you will feel if he reacts badly. Still, there are ways to approach the subject can ease you both into the possibility of masturbating together without it becoming a problem.
QUESTION: Sometimes while edging, at some point I relax some pelvic muscles, my shaft surges, then jizz flows into my hand, but I stay hard and horny. My cream tastes a bit sweeter than with ordinary orgasms. DAMN, my dick is still raging hard and electrified! What’s happening, and how can I get there more consistently?
RESPONSE: You are experiencing an orgasmic state familiar to me, which is between a “dry orgasm” and a full-blown ejaculatory orgasm. Because you are edging, mentally you seek to pull back from the edge, but your body releases some semen, partly because you may be generating a lot of the components in your edging process. The different taste may be because it’s not all the components of full-blown ejaculatory semen.
QUESTION: Is it possible to climax with the brain alone?
RESPONSE: Sex education pros sometimes like to tell you that erotic pleasure actually happens in your brain. In a certain sense, this is true. Still, it’s not the entire truth. Pleasure and orgasm register in that mysterious, powerful region between your ears, just like all other sensory input and bodily experience.
QUESTION: I have a very tight asshole. I finger it and can slip small objects in to use as a dildo. But I can’t get anything bigger inside. I’m afraid to force anything bigger in and tear something. How can I safely stretch my hole? I use lube… any suggestions???
RESPONSE: As you’ve learned, anal insertion isn’t as easy as it looks in most of the porn videos, where in reality the guys
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