At this big company where I work, there’s this handsome guy with a little dark beard, who I don’t really know. For the third time, I’m in the restroom and at the urinal he “shows hard,” so we go in a stall and jack each other to incredible orgasms. Now I’ve snooped a little and found out he’s married, with one little kid and another on the way. Is it wrong to do it again, now that I know about his family?
Is edging dangerous? I like to go several days without cumming and enjoy bating for an hour or more at a time. Is it unhealthy to build up cum without releasing it?
My brother left his laptop open and I saw his Bateworld profile: photos and vids. I’m scared, but excited too! What do I do? QUESTION: My older brother and I are both in college at…
Sometimes when I am in a sexually tense and very stimulating situation I will come quickly before I even get hard! Is that normal?
How do I tell my partner I’m a masturbator? QUESTION: My sex life with my partner is very healthy. How do I bring up my masturbation addiction to them, especially considering that I’m a chronic…
The idea that you lose life force after every ejaculation mostly comes from the ancient Taoist teachings from China, about cultivating erotic energy by experiencing intense, prolonged sexual stimulation, but then retaining your semen. This idea can also be found in the Tantra teachings of East India.
There is nothing wrong with what turns you on. This one probably qualifies as a sexual fetish. Such a fetish is usually a situation, a prop, a costume, an image, or any particular practice, even a role-playing fantasy, that heightens your arousal.
QUESTION: Is it wrong to fantasize about something that could be immoral, or even illegal while I masturbate? Some of those things just turn me on so intensely, man, like nothing else!
RESPONSE: Many people assume that fantasizing is what masturbation is all about. Of course, creative self-pleasure has many other major delicious facets. You can make a case for the fact that watching and listening to porn is a form of media-assisted fantasy, because you use the images that arouse you to stimulate your pleasure, and yet it remains vicarious. It is not what is actually happening here and now, though your sensations are real. But live-action porn did happen somewhere at some time and was recorded for an audience.
QUESTION: Bruce—I’ve looked at your site, which is great, and you seem to talk about masturbation being spiritual. How can this be, when religions and lots of people condemn it? Of course, I like it personally, that’s why I’m here. But spiritual? I don’t get that unless it’s, like, worshiping cock?
RESPONSE: Most definitely the pleasure your penis provides you with alters your consciousness, takes you into an exalted state, and can take you into a realm beyond words that some guys call gooning or monkey-bate babble. With all due respect to those who take religions seriously, those last experiences I mentioned remind me of “speaking in tongues,” or “glossolalia.” How can anything be more spiritual than these states where you go out of your mind in ecstasy, and enter the void of total oblivion? Each time you come back, is like a rebirth, right? Of course, you don’t need to agree with any of this.
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