Ask The Batemaster: A Gay Dilemma

Should I Ask?

Ask The BatemasterQUESTION: I’m at university and I’ve got a really hot straight buddy I’d love to jack-off with, but I’m not sure how he’d react, so how do I go about it? He’s in my room a lot. He knows I’m gay and says he doesn’t mind that. Anything to do with sex turns me on totally. But yeah, it’s guys and cocks that get me the most turned on. Help!

RESPONSE: You’ve got to decide for yourself how much you want or need to masturbate with your friend because you’re not sure how he will react. Consider how important his friendship is, and how you will feel if he reacts badly. Still, there are ways to approach the subject can ease you both into the possibility of masturbating together without it becoming a problem.

Consider how often guys adjust their crotch in public while fully dressed and hardly think about it. Guys constantly adjust their balls or rearrange their equipment for comfort. When you’re hanging out together, you can do this, and if he notices, sense how he’s reacting. Be prepared, if he’s not into it, to just drop the subject. If he doesn’t seem to notice, or mind, keep doing it, as a kind of signal. You can always say, “Oh, sorry.”

Try to look at this from your friend’s viewpoint. Often we care too much what people think about us, and he’s probably no exception, so maybe you are too. If it’s just the two of you together, he may be more open to masturbating with you, than if anyone else knows. In today’s world, there are plenty of good ways to approach this, regardless of how a guy publicly labels his sexuality.

Some honest communication can help at the right time, also not pushing too hard; make it clear it’s okay with you, either way, Yes or No. Sometimes just asking, rather than suggesting can really make all the difference. With today’s Internet we have easy access to all kinds of porn, and if your friend is with you nearby, you can start looking at some. If he reacts, just say, “Do you mind?” If he says he doesn’t mind, he might even watch with you.

The best strategy to get what you really want from someone is to make them comfortable, include them in your group by the way you talk, like, “We’re all human,” or “We’re both guys.” “Everyone gets horny.” These are undeniably true. So, if he watches porn with you, and you’re both getting turned on, you can start by being somewhat subtle: put your hand on your own crotch, maybe rub through your trousers a bit. If you’re really erect, you can ask, “Do you mind if I get comfortable?” If that’s no problem for him, you can open your fly, take out your penis and maybe he will also.

Patience, persistence, not pushing too hard, often pays off. A lot of guys are open to masturbating with a male friend privately, maybe even mutual masturbation. He may be horny too, so play it by ear. Good luck!

The Bate Master - Bruce P. GretherBRUCE P. GRETHER is the “BateMaster”. Mr. Grether’s lifelong love of penises and masturbation has led him to achieve a level of mastery and understanding of masturbation that is at once unique and extremely rare. He is renowned for both his ability to achieve seemingly endless states of prolonged and intense masturbatory pleasure as well as his skill in passing this knowledge on to his students. Mr. Grether has made it his life’s mission to encourage men to take their practice of masturbation to new levels of personal enrichment and self-discovery.

Mr. Grether is a globally recognized masturbation activist, an accomplished masturbation coach, and a tireless facilitator of masturbation workshops. In 2001 he coined the now popular term “Mindful Masturbation”. He is the author of a best-selling book, The Secret of the Golden Phallus, plus the erotic fantasy novels The Moontusk Chronicles. His website can be found at

A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.

Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.

4 replies
  1. Jammer529
    Jammer529 says:

    Twice in my life a straight best friend fell into a masturbation relationship with me. More recently, my young handsome friend Dirk loosened up once I told him he was a masculine ideal to me. He made love to a lot of women – including my gf! – but I’d only ever seen his uncut manhood in an unexcited state. Strange as it sounds, I felt jealous of all those girls Dirk had been with. But I did get my wish after we passed a fleshlight back and forth under a blanket one afternoon. Dirk suddenly spread his legs and threw the blanket off so I could see. He panted His abs tightened, and he shot his sperm into my fleshlight. Almost immediately he withdrew and handed it to me. I got so dizzy from what I saw. I saw the handsome boys’s shiny proud 8 inch penis, with his masculine bush at the base of his veiny shaft. His enormous red glans was so pronounced and milky with his cum. I said to him “God you’re a stallion”. His manhood at full erection was magnificent. I had a raging erection and sunk into a fleshlight that was unbelievably warm with the same fertile seed I watched him release inside my woman.I think Im in love with Dirk.

    • Bruce P. Grether
      Bruce P. Grether says:

      Wow! Thanks for this hot and highly relevant comment, Brother! With the right approach, a careful tactic that allows your friend or buddy to back out if he’s not willing, the results can prove spectacular. You never know, but in today’s world, more and more guys are open to adventures. A site like Bateworld (not that there IS another site like this!) surely helps to loosen things up…

  2. Jammer529
    Jammer529 says:

    Thank you! A flood of memories came to me and I think they can be of practical use….

    One other thing I’ve found is that much can be achieved when you re approaching it in terms of what doesn’t threaten him. But a better proactive way to think of the goal is what l.eaves him feeling safe? Most young men are curious but see it as a no-turning-back , thats-it-I’m-gay proposition. Maybe at some point lay the groundwork by bringing up pansexuality. Just as a concept. Whether the word is relevant to either of you is less important than that It will show him sexuality is non-binary and often fluid and changing.. It may give him the wiggle room he’s looking for to not ‘cross over”. Remember, it’s about burgeoning manhood with young men. Egos and identities are fragile at a time when we’re still trying on hats. So to speak Plus we want less than anything for our dads to think we’re…whatever would disappoint him. So if your friend with the no doubt beautiful sexy erection is a butchy guy….maybe find a time to put on the pussy porn and talk about a time you did what was on the screen or wanted to. Three way scenes allow you to do the proxy thing, where if you lose the broad…you get it.

    • Bruce P. Grether
      Bruce P. Grether says:

      Thanks so much for your insightful, wise response here! Yes, an important key is what’s not threatening to him… try to stand in his shoes a bit (even if you’re naked when you do it!) and with patience, kindness, you may very well get what you want. I LOVE the term “pansexual,” which is how more and more really young men seem to be defining their sexuality, if at all. I personally find labels such as “gay, bi, straight” limiting and usually inaccurate. Almost everyone seems, cultural conditioning aside, to be somewhere on the spectrum between simplistic extremes. Again, I really appreciate your comments here.


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