Should I Ask?
QUESTION: I’m at university and I’ve got a really hot straight buddy I’d love to jack-off with, but I’m not sure how he’d react, so how do I go about it? He’s in my room a lot. He knows I’m gay and says he doesn’t mind that. Anything to do with sex turns me on totally. But yeah, it’s guys and cocks that get me the most turned on. Help!
RESPONSE: You’ve got to decide for yourself how much you want or need to masturbate with your friend because you’re not sure how he will react. Consider how important his friendship is, and how you will feel if he reacts badly. Still, there are ways to approach the subject can ease you both into the possibility of masturbating together without it becoming a problem.
Consider how often guys adjust their crotch in public while fully dressed and hardly think about it. Guys constantly adjust their balls or rearrange their equipment for comfort. When you’re hanging out together, you can do this, and if he notices, sense how he’s reacting. Be prepared, if he’s not into it, to just drop the subject. If he doesn’t seem to notice, or mind, keep doing it, as a kind of signal. You can always say, “Oh, sorry.”
Try to look at this from your friend’s viewpoint. Often we care too much what people think about us, and he’s probably no exception, so maybe you are too. If it’s just the two of you together, he may be more open to masturbating with you, than if anyone else knows. In today’s world, there are plenty of good ways to approach this, regardless of how a guy publicly labels his sexuality.
Some honest communication can help at the right time, also not pushing too hard; make it clear it’s okay with you, either way, Yes or No. Sometimes just asking, rather than suggesting can really make all the difference. With today’s Internet we have easy access to all kinds of porn, and if your friend is with you nearby, you can start looking at some. If he reacts, just say, “Do you mind?” If he says he doesn’t mind, he might even watch with you.
The best strategy to get what you really want from someone is to make them comfortable, include them in your group by the way you talk, like, “We’re all human,” or “We’re both guys.” “Everyone gets horny.” These are undeniably true. So, if he watches porn with you, and you’re both getting turned on, you can start by being somewhat subtle: put your hand on your own crotch, maybe rub through your trousers a bit. If you’re really erect, you can ask, “Do you mind if I get comfortable?” If that’s no problem for him, you can open your fly, take out your penis and maybe he will also.
Patience, persistence, not pushing too hard, often pays off. A lot of guys are open to masturbating with a male friend privately, maybe even mutual masturbation. He may be horny too, so play it by ear. Good luck!
BRUCE P. GRETHER is the “BateMaster”. Mr. Grether’s lifelong love of penises and masturbation has led him to achieve a level of mastery and understanding of masturbation that is at once unique and extremely rare. He is renowned for both his ability to achieve seemingly endless states of prolonged and intense masturbatory pleasure as well as his skill in passing this knowledge on to his students. Mr. Grether has made it his life’s mission to encourage men to take their practice of masturbation to new levels of personal enrichment and self-discovery.
Mr. Grether is a globally recognized masturbation activist, an accomplished masturbation coach, and a tireless facilitator of masturbation workshops. In 2001 he coined the now popular term “Mindful Masturbation”. He is the author of a best-selling book, The Secret of the Golden Phallus, plus the erotic fantasy novels The Moontusk Chronicles. His website can be found at www.eroticengineering.com.
A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.
Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.