Ask The Batemaster: It’s Not A Gay Thing, It’s A Guy Thing
 | The Batemaster (Bruce P. Grether) |
| Posted on: | June 10, 2022 |
| Categorized: | Ask The Batemaster |
“To pressure this guy at all might very well backfire, though I agree with you that men masturbating together is not necessarily a gay thing.”
QUESTION:
I’ve got a super-hot roomie who often bates in the bathroom. I hear him and see the evidence after. He doesn’t deny it, but the one time I hinted we might do it together, he got huffy and said he isn’t gay, and shouted: “No way!” I told him it’s not a gay thing, but a guy thing, but he just slammed the door. Literally! What do you think? Is there any way to persuade him?
RESPONSE:
Sometimes curiosity and desire overcome the way someone wants to present themselves to others. To pressure this guy at all might very well backfire, though I agree with you that men masturbating together is not necessarily a gay thing. Sure, a lot of gay men are probably more open to it and more comfortable with the idea. But the media has been full of stories in the last few years about so-called straight buddies bating together.
Also, you cannot make this assumption, but the guy’s strident denial that he is gay could mean he is in truth, privately, within himself unsure of his sexuality. Possibly he’s “bi-curious” and one of the many millions of men who are victims of internalized homophobia. This last problem tragically includes a lot of gay and bisexual men, whose self-image may suffer because of commonly acquired and conditioned attitudes around same-sex activity.
Though it could be a project that would not end well, there might be several non-verbal approaches to encourage what you want to happen. If you have a living room or entertainment center area, pull out your penis and masturbate while this hot roomie is in his room, or when he is not in your living space, but you expect he might arrive soon. Allow him to catch you in the act. You can apologize and try to cover up your erection, but just tell him you felt really horny. Or do something similar, masturbating in your bedroom but with the door cracked open, and see if he notices.
Another option is to leave open a book with nude photos, or an open laptop logged-in to a porn site with a video running. If your roomie is around, watch some porn on your photo or a computer and let him hear the moans and groans and rhythmic motions. It might make him a bit horny too, and he might take the hint.
Another option is just to imagine masturbating with this guy. Sometimes, the saying goes, “Energy follows thought.” Of course, if you are not too concerned about the consequences, at some point try again. Just tell him again what you want!
Good luck and enjoy yourself, one way or another.
A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.
Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.
“To pressure this guy at all might very well backfire, though I agree with you that men masturbating together is not necessarily a gay thing.”
QUESTION:
I’ve got a super-hot roomie who often bates in the bathroom. I hear him and see the evidence after. He doesn’t deny it, but the one time I hinted we might do it together, he got huffy and said he isn’t gay, and shouted: “No way!” I told him it’s not a gay thing, but a guy thing, but he just slammed the door. Literally! What do you think? Is there any way to persuade him?
RESPONSE:
Sometimes curiosity and desire overcome the way someone wants to present themselves to others. To pressure this guy at all might very well backfire, though I agree with you that men masturbating together is not necessarily a gay thing. Sure, a lot of gay men are probably more open to it and more comfortable with the idea. But the media has been full of stories in the last few years about so-called straight buddies bating together.
Also, you cannot make this assumption, but the guy’s strident denial that he is gay could mean he is in truth, privately, within himself unsure of his sexuality. Possibly he’s “bi-curious” and one of the many millions of men who are victims of internalized homophobia. This last problem tragically includes a lot of gay and bisexual men, whose self-image may suffer because of commonly acquired and conditioned attitudes around same-sex activity.
Though it could be a project that would not end well, there might be several non-verbal approaches to encourage what you want to happen. If you have a living room or entertainment center area, pull out your penis and masturbate while this hot roomie is in his room, or when he is not in your living space, but you expect he might arrive soon. Allow him to catch you in the act. You can apologize and try to cover up your erection, but just tell him you felt really horny. Or do something similar, masturbating in your bedroom but with the door cracked open, and see if he notices.
Another option is to leave open a book with nude photos, or an open laptop logged-in to a porn site with a video running. If your roomie is around, watch some porn on your photo or a computer and let him hear the moans and groans and rhythmic motions. It might make him a bit horny too, and he might take the hint.
Another option is just to imagine masturbating with this guy. Sometimes, the saying goes, “Energy follows thought.” Of course, if you are not too concerned about the consequences, at some point try again. Just tell him again what you want!
Good luck and enjoy yourself, one way or another.
A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.
Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.
5 Responses to “Ask The Batemaster: It’s Not A Gay Thing, It’s A Guy Thing”
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this is very true . in college i had a room mate who bated all the time ever room 3 or 4 times a day. he always asked me to join him . i was always either to busy or to shy about the whole thing. one day i had a bad day and was not feeling like going out . he had his porn blasting in the dorm room . i went and sat down and watched the porn with him while he bated. about 20 in to the good part my hand was down my pants then 5 min later my pants were off and i was bateing with him from then on we bated the rest of the year like it was nothing. i see him once in a while with his wife and kids .
Indeed, so true. It’s a guy thing, not a gay thing. But the questioner has to be respectful and take the hint his roommate’s obviously not interested in masturbating together. But I think co-living situation allows the questioner to get noisy with his bates too.
I’m not comfy doing ”it” openly with friends but I’m totally comfy sharing my bates with others here on bw. And it’s nice to have a safe places where we can be comfy and openly masturbate.
I’ve spent enough time in masturbation chatrooms over the years to recognize “It’s Not A Gay Thing, It’s A Guy Thing” as a common rationale gay men use to try to convince straight men to jack off with them. I would ask those gay men three questions: 1) Do you masturbate to porn that doesn’t turn you on? 2) Do you fantasize about jacking off with other men whom you do not find attractive? 3) If someone who you were not attracted to at all said to you, “hey, I know you’re not attracted to me at all, but it’s a guy thing,” would you jack off with them anyways? I’d wager that your answer to both questions is “no.” So why would you expect a straight man to jack off in a context in which he isn’t turned on?
I think you’ve hit the nail on the head, Mike. As much as we might wish for things to happen, they won’t necessarily. As a GAY man, I recall cowering and shying away from countless M2M opportunities when I was a young man. Therefore, expecting a str8 guy to comply is way too optimistic.
This is one of those clear situations where no means no. Trying to entice or tantalize is likely a wasted effort.