Ask The Batemaster: I Love The Solo Bate. Am I Weird? Is This A Fetish?

“…A lot of guys won’t just jack, they want to suck.”

Ask The Batemaster LogoQUESTION: I love the solo bate! Only when I’m with a guy, I love nothing better than rubbing cock2cock. Frot, you know? Best thing in the world, although a lot of guys won’t just jack, they want to suck. I even have a realistic dildo I frot my cock with. Am I weird? Is this a fetish?


RESPONSE: You are not weird at all, my friend. And you are far from alone in loving to rub your penis against the penis of a Phallic Brother. In fact, this is a special favorite of mine, which actually set me on my path to becoming an erotic activist. The truth is, I’ve encountered so many men of all kinds who tell me privately they love genital frottage with other guys, that I suspect a large percentage of human males would enjoy this practice intensely if it were encouraged.


Part of the issue here is how guys get conditioned, and often get a lot of their sexual education from porn. Gay porn can be hot and fun. Yet most of it is incredibly predictable regarding the script: “Flirt, kiss, undress, suck, fuck, withdraw and ejaculate. Then BAM: THE END!” Well, actual eroticism can vary endlessly in nuances, and one big issue is to slow down, pay full attention to what you’re actually feeling and doing.


Of course, male masturbation porn is a sub-category all its own, more aligned with the vision of Bateworld and my own activism. Still, there is often a predictable emphasis on piston-pumping with a goal of shooting wads. So, for those of us who appreciate frottage, when it’s depicted, especially as more than a passing moment or two, our eyes open wide and we tend to stroke along.


When you’re in a position to actually experience rubbing your penis against another guy’s penis just for the pure penis pleasure of it, here are a few tips. For one thing, consider how penis-to-penis masturbation may be one of the deepest and most powerful forms of nonverbal communication between human males. I even consider it a kind of sacred communion of Phallic Brotherhood.


Be sure to use plenty of lubrication on both erections. If you’re standing or kneeling face-to-face, you can trade off which guy is holding the penises together and stroking them both in tandem. Try rolling the shafts around each other lengthwise. Go slow, and engage each other’s eyes, as well as enjoying the site of the connection. To press and rub the underside of the shafts and beneath the heads together, sometimes it’s best for one guy to lie back or at least sit, while the other straddles his upper thighs and you bring both erections and balls together. If you’re close enough buddies, kissing while doing this can be hot—only it’s not necessary.


Don’t worry about the label “fetish.” The term usually attaches to something that becomes a total obsession and makes all other practices less enjoyable. Even if you love this as a special favorite, and use that dildo more often than not, if it feels good, just enjoy! More power to you!

The Bate Master - Bruce P. GretherBRUCE P. GRETHER is the “BateMaster”. Mr. Grether’s lifelong love of penises and masturbation has led him to achieve a level of mastery and understanding of masturbation that is at once unique and extremely rare. He is renowned for both his ability to achieve seemingly endless states of prolonged and intense masturbatory pleasure as well as his skill in passing this knowledge on to his students. Mr. Grether has made it his life’s mission to encourage men to take their practice of masturbation to new levels of personal enrichment and self-discovery.

Mr. Grether is a globally recognized masturbation activist, an accomplished masturbation coach, and a tireless facilitator of masturbation workshops. In 2001 he coined the now popular term “Mindful Masturbation”. He is the author of a best-selling book, The Secret of the Golden Phallus, plus the erotic fantasy novels The Moontusk Chronicles. His website can be found at

A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.

Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.

3 replies
  1. Curious
    Curious says:

    I have a genuine 11inches. It was asked of me the other day if my cock was shrinking. So. As you do .I measured it and discovered that it had indeed lessened in length but only by half of an inch. Is this normal . I am 6o years young.

    • Bruce P. Grether
      Bruce P. Grether says:

      This could be “apparent” shrinkage, as your penis (if you think about the cellular and molecular levels of its structure) is never, EVER exactly the same size twice. It is always growing or shrinking slightly, sometimes dramatically during erections of onset of a flaccid phase. Measurement depends on degree of arousal, and even flaccid, it also depends on various things such as temperature, even mood or attitude. If you gain some wight, it may appear shorter, as the base may get slightly “buried” and if you lose some weight, it may appear longer for the opposite reason. Still, overall it’s likely to remain about the same size through your life. Might as well love it for it’s unique beauty and the pleasure it gives you!

      • Dbrown
        Dbrown says:

        Hey am I freaky for liking to wear women’s panties because when I masturbate I love to put on black thigh highs red satin panties set down in front of a mirror and play with myself for hours stroking my cock wild been using a dildo lately up my chute man good stuff strong prostate orgasms I love it.


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