Ask The Batemaster: Cyberbating VS. Real Life

Develop your solo practice; those skills will come in handy when you actually find someone to share meaningful sessions with feelings, and in-person.

Ask The Batemaster

QUESTION: It’s a shame to have to beat off alone all the time. To share the experience gives it a whole new meaning and a whole new outcome. But how can I really achieve that in person, in the flesh, with real meaning and feeling?

RESPONSE: This is a great question! It’s also of relevance to many guys on this site, I’m certain. Given today’s Internet full of horny guys with cams who might be willing to masturbate with you online, at least in Cyberspace, there is no need to do it alone all the time. Most definitely this is one of the most wonderful things about digital realities, that you can potentially masturbate on cam with guys masturbating on cam anywhere on the planet!

Seems to me, however, that one key in your question is the phrase “with real meaning and feeling.” This may in fact require a willingness to get to know guys a bit more than just agreeing to share a session, then “Wham-bam-thank-you-sir!” Understandably, lots of guys are still just wanting to get off, and sometimes still unwilling to show their face to you on cam. Still, neither one of those helps you attain something more personal and individual.

There is nothing wrong with an impersonal cam session just to get off—only it is quite a different animal from the willingness to spend a little time getting to know each other, and then taking the time to slow down and really enjoy sharing your erections and self-pleasure sessions. This latter type of situation is far more fulfilling to me, personally.

Still, you’re also asking about how to achieve this in person, and in the flesh: in-person social masturbation. That may prove trickier, though in today’s world this is also improving. The Internet provides effective search functions, and particularly the only site that is actually all about it: Bateworld. To locate and connect with guys in your own area for actual masturbation sessions together may not be so easy. I don’t want to discourage you, but this is still pioneering territory, and hopefully a major wave of the future, especially to connect for sessions with real meaning and feeling.

In today’s world of male masturbation, there are “Jacks” clubs in many major cities. Though that can be sexually hot, it may not always be very personal. In such a group you may find men willing to make it a bit more meaningful, as well. There are special gatherings, such as the Cock Summit promoted on BW, and the Men’s Festivals, Midwestern and California.

You might try creating a group here on BW that is geared towards your area, and towards actually meeting for sessions. Be sure to get acquainted via online chat before you ever share a phone number in a private message. Not to be paranoid, but then talk on the phone for a while to get to know him. It’s also wise to set up a first meeting in a public place. Meet for coffee or lunch. If a guy is sincerely interested in more than a hasty jack-off, he should be willing to meet publicly first, and to get better acquainted.

Good luck finding Phallic Brothers to share with. It’s happening more and more these days, so even if it takes a while, don’t get discouraged. Meanwhile, develop your solo practice; those skills will come in handy when you actually find someone to share meaningful sessions with feeling, and in-person.

The Bate Master - Bruce P. GretherBRUCE P. GRETHER is the “BateMaster”. Mr. Grether’s lifelong love of penises and masturbation has led him to achieve a level of mastery and understanding of masturbation that is at once unique and extremely rare. He is renowned for both his ability to achieve seemingly endless states of prolonged and intense masturbatory pleasure as well as his skill in passing this knowledge on to his students. Mr. Grether has made it his life’s mission to encourage men to take their practice of masturbation to new levels of personal enrichment and self-discovery.

Mr. Grether is a globally recognized masturbation activist, an accomplished masturbation coach, and a tireless facilitator of masturbation workshops. In 2001 he coined the now popular term “Mindful Masturbation”. He is the author of a best-selling book, The Secret of the Golden Phallus, plus the erotic fantasy novels The Moontusk Chronicles. His website can be found at

A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.

Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.

4 replies
  1. Anonymous
    Anonymous says:

    I agree, masturbation really is meant to be a team sport. Gosh, I was a total soloist for many years and then with computers I discovered cybering off. I’ve always drawn the line there. Never have done anything for reals with a guy. Cyber seems to suit my needs. I’ve chatted with others who’ve gone to bate groups or found others to hook up with 1 on 1. And I’ve chatted with guys who have small groups come to their homes for bate sessions. I have looked up our local bate club online but never went any further than that.

    I think your advice is a good for those looking to meet other bators for reals, be sure to make a “connection” before getting together. Phone is the better option than just emailing.

    • Bruce P. Grether
      Bruce P. Grether says:

      Most def there are a million ways to kiss the ground! So many ways for men to thoroughly enjoy masturbating: solo, with a buddy, in groups; cyber, and in person. It’s mainly on the last that it’s wise to slow down from excitement just a bit to be sensible and careful. And even online, I suggest it’s great to treat anyone with respect and kindness. “Bate with others, as you would have them bate with you.”

    • Anonymous
      Anonymous says:

      In my opinion, they both offer benefits. In general, exploring either one or both helps expand our sexual terrain. Our comfort zones. Our sexual skill sets. For me, I’m a cyber bator and enjoy being able to chat so openly about masturbation with another fellow bator. Sharing the pleasures, the sights, the sounds, our techniques and history. And using skype – leaves our hands free for pleasuring while we chat & bate.

      But I’ve not yet tried doing it for reals with a guy. Just not something I currently plan or wish to do. Yet I can imagine the excitement and thrills it likely offers sharing a bate session in person with a fellow bator. To actually see and hear our faps and groans for reals. Must be intoxicating.


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