Ask The Batemaster: Is My Cock Shrinking?

“If you don’t use it, you’ll lose it.”

Ask The Batemaster LogoQUESTION I am 43 and have been single for some time. I think my cock is getting smaller cause I only have a wank about once a week and cum quite quick when wanking, also I don’t get a proper hard on when wanking. Any advice on getting a bigger harder cock would be great. Many thanks.

RESPONSE: In fact, there is some truth to “If you don’t use it, you lose it.” With less use, meaning not masturbating often, or longer sessions, your penis can definitely seem smaller, and may actually lose size. I’ve encountered several men who went through prolonged periods with little or no sexual activity following a loss, an illness, or a traumatic breakup, who felt that when they resumed sexual activity, their penis was permanently smaller.

In medical or scientific terms, I doubt this is absolutely true. No serious studies have been done on this exact matter. Still, to restore and maintain the function and maximum form—meaning size in this case—actively pursue ways to increase your sexual activity, intensify your arousal, seek to prolong your sessions of masturbating.

The actual size and firmness of any man’s erections always varies somewhat. Never worry about having an absolutely full erection all the time while you masturbate; let it come and go naturally. You can enjoy much pleasure while semi-erect. With prolonged, full erection, your penis becomes about as big as it can get, but this is never absolute. Remember: it is elastic.

Sometimes I advise against too much obsessive reliance upon porn for stimulus, but to deliberately pursue the images that turn you on most online, and masturbate to them might help. Something important for all masturbators to be aware of is that arousal and erection are part of the “relaxation response” of the nervous system wiring, the opposite of stressful “fight or flight.” To really enhance your pleasure, improve the quality of erections, be sure you remain as relaxed as possible while you masturbate.

Don’t tighten up pelvic muscles. Make sure your chest and shoulders are not tight with stress. A great way to counteract stress is to breathe deeply, the first thing I suggest when I coach men in Mindful Masturbation. To be sure you are doing deep abdominal breathing, put a hand on your belly. (Forget vanity!) Make sure that when you breathe IN, your belly goes OUT; when you breathe OUT, your belly goes IN. This means you take deep abdominal breaths, the opposite of tense upper-chest breathing.

If you are not using plenty of lubrication, try this. I’m not a fan of pharmaceuticals, but you might want to ask a doctor to prescribe a few of the effective erection enhancement drugs, and use a pill or half a pill now and then, just to get back into the swing of things. Unless you really require these for other reasons, you may just try them a few times to “prime the pump,” so to speak, and get back into the swing of things. Such drugs can be very expensive, and I don’t suggest them unless truly necessary.

Once you get going, practice the various ways to prolong your sessions that are the backbone of edging and Mindful Masturbation techniques: breathe deeply, keep relaxed, vary your strokes, vary your positions. Reclaim the joy of pure penis pleasure for its own sake! Hopefully, some of these suggestions will help get your erections back in gear, keep your penis exercised and fully enjoyed.

The Bate Master - Bruce P. GretherBRUCE P. GRETHER is the “BateMaster”. Mr. Grether’s lifelong love of penises and masturbation has led him to achieve a level of mastery and understanding of masturbation that is at once unique and extremely rare. He is renowned for both his ability to achieve seemingly endless states of prolonged and intense masturbatory pleasure as well as his skill in passing this knowledge on to his students. Mr. Grether has made it his life’s mission to encourage men to take their practice of masturbation to new levels of personal enrichment and self-discovery.

Mr. Grether is a globally recognized masturbation activist, an accomplished masturbation coach, and a tireless facilitator of masturbation workshops. In 2001 he coined the now popular term “Mindful Masturbation”. He is the author of a best-selling book, The Secret of the Golden Phallus, plus the erotic fantasy novels The Moontusk Chronicles. His website can be found at www.eroticengineering.com.

A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.

Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.

5 replies
  1. Rod
    Rod says:

    Dear Bruce:
    Always enjoy your informative commentary. You’re on point, as usual, with the whole penis shrinking without use thing. At my advanced age (57) I find I don’t have the same fervor to masturbation I had in my early 20’s. Even though I thoroughly enjoy masturbating, I’ve occasionally been surprised at the size, girth and hardness of my penis after not masturbating for a week or so. For me, it’s almost like touching a new penis, bigger and stronger than before. For the greater portion of my life, I’ve programmed myself to “jack-off” rather than masturbate. And your instruction of attempting to relax has been extremely helpful to me. Even know I find myself rapidly pistoning my cock, tensing up, and straining to having an orgasm only to tell myself to take a deep breath and relax. The feeling is amazing! And the orgasm even better when it happens.

    Thank you for your insight and your knowledge. Look forward to all your articles.

    Reply
    • Bruce P. Grether
      Bruce P. Grether says:

      Your honest and thoughtful response here is much appreciated. Yes, to masturbate more mindfully, to pay full attention to the process, to what you are feeling and doing, to relax is major! No matter how experienced you get in turning masturbation into a fine art, it’s easy for anyone (me too sometimes!) to slip into old habits that aren’t the most optimal. It’s great to be infinitely forgiving of ourselves on this of all subjects–something we love so much, that enriches our lives, and yet mainstream culture does nothing to encourage. – BPG

      Reply
  2. Joe
    Joe says:

    Bruce, I have masturbated on almost daily basis since I was 13 years old. Then I did it 5 times a day but most of my life every day or two. I’m now 70 years old and until 6 months ago I masturbated every other day. Now I can get an erection and masturbate for an hour but don’t ejaculate. I can “cum” about every 3-4 days. I love to masturbate and make it last as long as possible, usually over an hour. I think the medications I’m taking for high blood pressure and pain are inhibiting my ability to have an orgasm and sometimes lose my erection. I actually skip my meds some days so I can ejaculate. Bodies change as we et older and medications affect our sexual function. Is there anything I can take or do to help me cum? I am dependent on porn to even get an erection, by the way. Joe

    Reply
    • Bruce P. Grether
      Bruce P. Grether says:

      Kudos to you for bringing these things up, Brother! Definitely many medications that guys end up taking for various issues may interfere with sexual function. If it’s not dangerous to interrupt your meds, like you do taking a day or two off from them to enjoy masturbation more is probably worthwhile. Just be careful. Also, whether you ejaculate or not, it’s good to masturbate at least some every day–in my opinion. At the same time, men’s libidos vary a lot for many complex reasons. Be sure you take some kind of Prostate supplement that may include such ingredients as Saw Palmetto, Ginseng, Pygeum bark, and Pumpkin seed. Internet porn is fine to get yourself going, by why not try the old-fashioned idea of reading erotic stories? That may produce more of a “slow burn” of arousal, but also be very satisfying. It never hurts at any age to shift the focus away from coming to enjoying the journey as intensely as you can, all the way along!

      Reply
  3. apalmer5
    apalmer5 says:

    At 63, I can confidently say yes changes do happen “down there” as we age. Don’t think my package has gotten smaller but for sure I don’t get erect like I used to. But I still enjoy a daily bate & cum. For me I’m unsure if erection issues are due to medications and/or diabetes. And I don’t pre like I used to either.

    Reply

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