Ask The Batemaster: Assturbation And Tightness

Assturbation With A Tight Anus

Batemaster LogoQuestion: I have a very tight asshole. I finger it and can slip small objects into it for use as a dildo. But I can’t get anything bigger inside. I’m afraid to force anything bigger in and tear something. How can I safely stretch my hole? I use lube… any suggestions???

Response: As you’ve learned, anal insertion isn’t as easy as it looks in most of the porn videos, where in reality the guys receiving into their anus are already very experienced and stretched. In your real life, there are a number of safe and effective ways to work towards safely accepting something bigger, and being able to enjoy it.

First of all, be aware that your body arouses from front-to-back, so don’t even attempt any insertion until after you stimulate your penis for a while, say 20 or 30 minutes at least. Begin gradually, don’t rush; yes, plenty of lube is always good. Use a finger or smooth object rubbing across and around the external sphincter. Push inward and pull back for a while without actual insertion. Take your time.

Further, be aware that the anus has two sphincter muscles shaped like tight little donuts: the external (which you can see with a hand mirror), and a bigger inner muscle. The outer muscle at the surface is under voluntary control, though the stronger inner muscle is more under automatic or unconscious control. To put it bluntly, consider what happens when you poop. Moving from inside, your body knows when you need to eliminate waste. You become aware of it when that inner sphincter relaxes to signal your brain, then you’re ready, you can relax the outer muscle, and it happens.

A major part of insertion is that you can accept something into your body most successfully when you really want to when you are really ready. That inner muscle will relax and be willing to stretch. Insertion tends to feel like backward elimination at first and requires some getting used to. Be patient; never force it if it’s really painful, though it’s likely to get intense. Take your time, and if you use fingers, graduate from one to two, then to three when you’re ready. You’ll feel it when the inner sphincter is ready.

The Bate Master - Bruce P. GretherBRUCE P. GRETHER is the “BateMaster”. Mr. Grether’s lifelong love of penises and masturbation has led him to achieve a level of mastery and understanding of masturbation that is at once unique and extremely rare. He is renowned for both his ability to achieve seemingly endless states of prolonged and intense masturbatory pleasure as well as his skill in passing this knowledge on to his students. Mr. Grether has made it his life’s mission to encourage men to take their practice of masturbation to new levels of personal enrichment and self-discovery.

Mr. Grether is a globally recognized masturbation activist, an accomplished masturbation coach, and a tireless facilitator of masturbation workshops. In 2001 he coined the now popular term “Mindful Masturbation”. He is the author of a best-selling book, The Secret of the Golden Phallus, plus the erotic fantasy novels The Moontusk Chronicles. His website can be found at

A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.

Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.

5 replies
  1. More than curious
    More than curious says:

    I am looking for a gay man or couple who would to share my experience with my first cock. Anal and swallowing, I have once gave head but it was fast and he wasn’t hard. Just want to have safe sex and bareback with a man of any gender. I would LOVE a Big Handsome Black Daddy or daddies to take me slowy or white or both. I want gay sex and love

      [email protected] says:

      First off you cannot expect to have “safe sex” and bareback in the same sentence. I am a bi-guy, married (woman) and do play around a bit but always safely. Just because some guy says he safe you cannot take his word (even if he’s a Catholic Priest!) I am natural (uncut) super clean and a bit over 7 inches. I’d recommend you try it with a natural cock, because the foreskin cushions quite a bit over a cut cock. I would go (if we ever met) very slow with lubricated fingers and eventually slip it very slowly into your anus.
      Good luck my brother and hope your experience is wonderful!

      • Bruce P. Grether
        Bruce P. Grether says:

        Good point about safety first, Brothers. Barebacking is not safe sex unless you know for sure a man’s health status and you both agree to what you’re doing. Condoms may seem unweildy, but for anal stuff, a condom is a good idea unless you’re absolutely sure. Oral sex cannot be said to be 100% safe either. That said, every guy is responsible for his own health and safety–only don’t just take someone’s word on their health status if you don’t really know. Please play safe!

  2. Anonymous
    Anonymous says:

    I agree with Bruces suggestions, I know for my own anal pleasuring, tight or not requires a different mind set than masturbation. You need to be open & ready to try exploring ‘up there’ its very different. finding & exploring the muscles and just where the heck is that prostate. I know for me I’d read about the amazing pleasures we can get from that illusive organ. And just how do we get there. Initially I explored with my fingers. Then I began slipping a carrot into a condom so I wouldn’t lose it up there. Gradually I got more comfy exploring but for me I still was missing the pleasure part of doing anal.

    Finally 1 did hit the magic button up there and totally ejaculated but without an orgasm which was the most unusual session I’d ever had. I was still erect & very aroused so I masturbated and came again, this time with an orgasm.

    • Bruce P. Grether
      Bruce P. Grether says:

      Yes, our bodies are complex, and sometimes it seems contradictory: orgasm without ejaculation, ejaculation without full orgasm. Sometimes it’s nice to be surprised, and to realize we still have plenty to learn and new territory to explore.


Leave a Reply

Want to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.