Ask The Batemaster: Roommates

We jack together often, do mutual, even some frotting cock2cock, and kissing. But he won’t suck, says that’s too gay. What do I do?Ask The Batemaster

QUESTION: I share an apartment and have a really cute roommate. It seems he wanted me to catch him masturbating, because he would leave his door open and make a lot of noise. One night he saw me watching with my hand in my shorts, and said Why not come in? Now we jack together often, do mutual, even some frotting cock2cock and kissing. But he won’t suck, says that’s too gay. What do I do?

RESPONSE: Thank your lucky stars! What I mean is, why not be grateful for the wonderful things you share with this cute, supposed straight guy, instead of thinking about more things you want to do with him? One wonderful thing about Bateworld is that it’s a place where guys can share the fact that masturbation is as good as any form of erotic pleasure, and often it might even be preferable. With solo masturbation, you are in charge of how much pleasure you have, though of course it can be great to do it with other guys also.

We easily get programmed by commercial porn to think that the script for sex is “Flirt, kiss, reveal, stroke, then suck and fuck.” Usually the vids you see are heavy on the last two practices. It can be great to keep the focus on masturbation, and its closer variations for stimulating the penis. Of course, in reality there’s never been anything sinful about masturbating—it’s healthy and natural. Still, there is a certain Original Innocence, a kind of pure-hearted simplicity to how it can be shared. You can even bypass some of the ego games of seduction and manipulation and conquest, if you’re fortunate enough to find a guy who just loves to masturbate with you.

Pure penis pleasure for its own sake is one of life’s finest gifts you can give yourself or offer to someone else to share for the sheer enjoyment of it.

You are extremely fortunate, Brother! Of course, this is not to suggest there’s anything wrong with other forms of shared pleasure, but why not encourage guys to consider that not only is masturbation great, masturbation really does have some special virtues? To share it among all kinds of men ought to be encouraged, right?

You can make a good case for the idea that masturbation is not only real sex, it’s the original form of sex, from how some baby boys are seen through sonograms to be doing it in the womb. It’s also for sure the most common, healthiest, and safest kind of physical pleasure you can enjoy! It really doesn’t matter what label you put on yourself—masturbation is something most men love to do, and a lot of them can get turned on doing it with another guy.

In your situation, my advice is to be grateful and enjoy everything you and your roommate do together. If you push him for oral sex, there’s a chance he’ll back off. Let the situation evolve naturally, like it did when he invited you into his room.

The Bate Master - Bruce P. GretherBRUCE P. GRETHER is the “BateMaster”. Mr. Grether’s lifelong love of penises and masturbation has led him to achieve a level of mastery and understanding of masturbation that is at once unique and extremely rare. He is renowned for both his ability to achieve seemingly endless states of prolonged and intense masturbatory pleasure as well as his skill in passing this knowledge on to his students. Mr. Grether has made it his life’s mission to encourage men to take their practice of masturbation to new levels of personal enrichment and self-discovery.

Mr. Grether is a globally recognized masturbation activist, an accomplished masturbation coach, and a tireless facilitator of masturbation workshops. In 2001 he coined the now popular term “Mindful Masturbation”. He is the author of a best-selling book, The Secret of the Golden Phallus, plus the erotic fantasy novels The Moontusk Chronicles. His website can be found at

A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.

Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.

2 replies
  1. apalmer5
    apalmer5 says:

    Interesting question. I agree with Bruce, just enjoy what the both of you are willing to do. Perhaps as he gets more comfy and relaxed he’ll expand his “limits,” I think we all have limits and certainly interests when it comes to sharing our “sport” with others. For him masturbating together seems to be a normal thing guys do but getting sucked off by a guy just doesn’t work for him. And just respect that. Otherwise you may ruin the mutual adventures you’re currently enjoying & he’ll become reluctant to masturbate with you at all – because of the direction you insist on going. Masturbation truly is a pleasure that we learn more about as we go.

    Like for my own interests, I’m not at all interested in doing anything for reals with a guy. But cyber…sure. I don’t mind watching or helping others get off.

    • Bruce P. Grether
      Bruce P. Grether says:

      Great comment–thanks! Yes, it’s best for everyone when everybody’s preferences are respected. Plus, as the saying goes, “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.” In other words, someone wants to give you a horse for free, don’t be too picky about inspecting it’s teeth for evidence of health or age. If you want the horse, just say, “Thank you very much!”


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