Ask The Batemaster

Ask The Batemaster: Military Strategies

Never underestimate the power of cultural conditioning, my Phallic Brother!

QUESTION: I saw your column about guys jerking together in the military, and the comment from a veteran who said he never heard of it. Well, I’m not career, but I was in there, and truth is it’s all really homophobic. Well, now I’m happily married to a man! In the service, mostly it was hearing other guys doing it at night, then going ahead and doing it too. Trying not to get a boner in the showers! So why is this still any big deal for any guys?

RESPONSE: Never underestimate the power of cultural conditioning, my Phallic Brother! (Often this is mixed with religious beliefs, but it’s always social and cultural!) In fact, I don’t care if someone thinks it’s corny and retro: the 1960s values of Love and Peace are more important than ever in today’s crazy world of cell phones, the Internet, and media madness. We only continue perpetual warfare because men can be conditioned to fear their fellow men.

My own approach to helping our species towards a more peaceful, healthy, happy planet is to encourage all men to pursue improved masturbation skills, the practice of self-pleasure as self-love—one and the same thing! When you go really deep into male masturbation, learning how to remain for long intense periods in pure penis pleasure, it begins to work on you. Your old habits of poor self-esteem begin to dissolve, you become more confident and secure in your self-image.

When you feel secure enough to share masturbation with fellow men (whether you identify as gay, bi, or straight in public doesn’t matter to this) then you contribute a tiny bit more toward tolerance, lack of shame or guilt, and fearless acceptance in the world, even to active appreciation for your fellow human males.

There is no logical or sensible reason why all men should not fully enjoy masturbation, and why many more men should not explore the possibility of sharing masturbation with fellow men. Of course, it’s true that historically male militaries reinforce certain boundaries, hierarchies of authority, and male bonding, as well as defining the “enemy” through a mix of homophobia and homoerotic proximity. Consider how the military life brings young men together, strips them of their individuality while also forcing them to develop peak fitness and live in constant proximity. The power of this conditioning is well known and effective in creating a force of effective warriors. Consider: perhaps homophobia is actually fear of yourself, your own natural, intense, passionate maleness.

But what greater right should warriors protect than the right to love whoever, and however you wish, including loving yourself through devoted and skilled masturbatory practice?

Surely men’s experiences of erotic sharing in militaries, or concealment of sharing, or denial of sharing varies endlessly with individual experiences. Homophobia is not something you’re born with—like any and all forms of prejudice or intolerance, it is learned. You have to be taught homophobia. And the best way to get over it is to experience the wonder, the awe, the amazement that comes with sharing your penis with fellow men who are willing to share their penises with you. Be as kind, generous, and supportive of your Phallic Brothers as you can, and ultimately this means all men on Earth!

Pleasuring your penis can open your heart and bring you genuine peace.

The Bate Master - Bruce P. GretherBRUCE P. GRETHER is the “BateMaster”. Mr. Grether’s lifelong love of penises and masturbation has led him to achieve a level of mastery and understanding of masturbation that is at once unique and extremely rare. He is renowned for both his ability to achieve seemingly endless states of prolonged and intense masturbatory pleasure as well as his skill in passing this knowledge on to his students. Mr. Grether has made it his life’s mission to encourage men to take their practice of masturbation to new levels of personal enrichment and self-discovery.

Mr. Grether is a globally recognized masturbation activist, an accomplished masturbation coach, and a tireless facilitator of masturbation workshops. In 2001 he coined the now popular term “Mindful Masturbation”. He is the author of a best-selling book, The Secret of the Golden Phallus, plus the erotic fantasy novels

The Moontusk Chronicles. His website can be found at

A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.

Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.

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