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Ask The Batemaster: I’m 23 And Like Older Guys (50+)

QUESTION: Love to cyber with guys I find here and sometimes other places, but really only with older guys, like at least 50 or 60. Thing is, I’m 23 myself. Lots of guys say I’m nice-looking with a great cock, but for some reason I just like much older guys better, kind of grandfatherly, even if they’re sort of heavy. What is this about?

RESPONSE: Seems like that’s just the way you are. It takes all kinds to make a planetary Brotherhood of male masturbators. Various attempts have been made to explain such a preference, none of which I consider all that convincing or important. Some would suggest it has to do with personal experience, something that happened early in your life, maybe, or even an innate genetic predisposition. Who knows?

There is certainly nothing wrong with your preference.

This is sort of the opposite of older guys who are only interested in younger guys. It always seems a bit unfortunate when specific age parameters limit the options, so it’s nice that you say, “in most cases.” Also, this entire matter relates, at least for some men, with the issue of looks-ism as well as age-ism. If you really want to look beyond the kinds you prefer, you will just have to try and to work on it.

There is nothing wrong with having preferences in terms of appearance, such as guys with beards or without, hairy chests or smoother guys, muscular or slimmer. Still, this can be limiting to your options. Sometimes the older guys have gained a lot from experience, and they may be more accepting, more open to variety. Of course, it is also pleasant for the older men that some younger fellows prefer men who are more “mature.”

Variety really is the spice of life in a lot of ways, so it could also be an adventure for you to try opening yourself to connecting with guys of all ages. One thing in the Internet world is that, when you’re online, some people forget how useful good manners can be, all the way around. To be polite and considerate enhances the experience for both you and the other guys.

If you contact someone and then decide the whole thing is not your cup of tea, it’s okay to say something like, “You know, I’d really like to know more about you.” There is no reason it has to be 100% about masturbation. If he’s not comfortable talking about himself, you can still thank him for his time—to leave him feeling as good as possible.

In the case of those fortunate fatherly or grandfatherly men that you cyber with, you know there is a long tradition of older men feeling vitalized by sharing with younger guys, and younger guys learning from the wisdom and experience of older guys.

Keep an open mind to sharing with guys of all ages, if you can, still your preference does sound like a win-win situation.

The Bate Master - Bruce P. GretherBRUCE P. GRETHER is the “BateMaster”. Mr. Grether’s lifelong love of penises and masturbation has led him to achieve a level of mastery and understanding of masturbation that is at once unique and extremely rare. He is renowned for both his ability to achieve seemingly endless states of prolonged and intense masturbatory pleasure as well as his skill in passing this knowledge on to his students. Mr. Grether has made it his life’s mission to encourage men to take their practice of masturbation to new levels of personal enrichment and self-discovery.

Mr. Grether is a globally recognized masturbation activist, an accomplished masturbation coach, and a tireless facilitator of masturbation workshops. In 2001 he coined the now popular term “Mindful Masturbation”. He is the author of a best-selling book, The Secret of the Golden Phallus, plus the erotic fantasy novels The Moontusk Chronicles. His website can be found at

A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.

Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.

5 replies
  1. fullmoonma
    fullmoonma says:

    Nature or nurture?

    There’s a theory that women are genetically predisposed to desire older more powerful men as a way of protecting their children and thus their genes. I wonder if some guys get this genetric trait too?

    I’m pretty sure that my not desiring older looking men or mediterranean resulted from incest taboos – my gay dad and my high school buddies.

    Fortunately there are youthful men who like to share erotic times with much older guys!

    • apalmer5
      apalmer5 says:

      Interesting consideration about women Fullmoon. Suppose different points of view, women desiring younger guys who are likely more virile. Or older and more likely to be nurturing than breeding multiple partners.

      I tend to cyber off with folks around my own age or middle aged. But now & then younger guys like the fact that Im older & more experienced and want to ve coached or a dad type which is kinda creepy for me and a turn off.

      Suppose sexually we’re all on a journey of exploration of trial and error. Discovering & learning more about the things that make us tick and work or don’t. And who we are.

    • Bruce P. Grether
      Bruce P. Grether says:

      Yes! It’s fortunate for both the older and younger guys that a certain subset of men have these preferences. Often it’s not clear why, only it’s part of life’s wonderful variety. There are all kinds of men with all kinds of preferences, so maybe everyone has a good chance to hook up int he ways we prefer! Always good to hear from you. Thanks so much! – BPG

  2. Trevor
    Trevor says:

    I’m glad to see I’m not alone in this. I too am an my 20s but find it just more interesting, exciting, and insightful masturbating with much older guys online. Never would have expected that starting out. They are less judgemental, more understanding and supportive and less rushed in our masturbation. Maybe it cums with age.
    I would recommend more guys my age try it for a while and see for yourself if it gets you off better.


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