In my experience it seems best to just be straightforward.
QUESTION: I really appreciate that you answered my question about explaining to guys why I like to retain my semen, instead of ejaculating so often. Only you didn’t really go into how to deal with guys when I’m camming and they want me to shoot my wad. Hate to disappoint anyone, but unless they try it, how can they know how great it is not to do that so often?
RESPONSE: Thank you for following up. I went back and read again what I wrote to your original question, and you are right, I focused mostly on how to persuade men to try semen retention. Because I do masturbate with men on cam quite often, and I seldom ejaculate, I know exactly what you are talking about. Guys who do not practice epic edging, or semen retention, often make the common assumption that male masturbation is primarily about getting to the finish line.
Many, many times, I’ve dealt with this issue of letting guys know that I don’t want to ejaculate every time I masturbate. In my experience it seems best to just be straightforward. There’s no reason you need to announce to the guy (or guys) you’re masturbating with ahead of time that you’d rather not come at the conclusion of the session. If they ask you to ejaculate with them, even beg you to, but you’d still rather not—just can just say that. It’s always your choice.
What I often say is, “If you want to ejaculate, please feel free to go ahead. I’ll be happy to watch, and I’d really enjoy seeing it.” Sometimes this is enough to appease those who are a bit puzzled. Do they wonder if you are not so turned on by the situation? Or do they wonder if you find it difficult to reach ejaculatory orgasm, as some men find it difficult. This doesn’t really matter, but I sometimes say, “Actually, this just feels so good that I don’t want it to end anytime soon. This way, if I decide to play again pretty soon, I’m ready to start again, almost instantly. Still, I’ll be honored to witness your ejaculation if you really want to shoot.”
It’s not important to convince your playmate(s) NOT to ejaculate, but if they are curious about your practice, simply explain to them briefly why you prefer edging or semen retention over ejaculating very often. Sometimes I’ll say, “Of course I love to ejaculate! I think almost every man does. But until you try the alternatives, you can never know that there might be something you might like even better.” I sometimes add, “This is really about me, not about you.”
Truth is, my desire to remain in high erotic states of intense pleasure for long periods, to be able to linger there indefinitely and to fully savor the intense penis bliss for as long as I want, is what motivated me to get into this enterprise in the first place. My penis has always been and remains incredibly sensitive. I still come easily. Before 1995, when I had my personal breakthrough, I wasn’t able to prolong indefinitely. Since I learned how, I know that for me nothing else compares.
I’ll be totally honest with you. After moving in with my partner in 1996, was the first time I had ever experienced having sex 2, 3, 4, even 5 X in a day. We did it every day, in the early years, and I often did ejaculate then. Still, when masturbating solo, I seldom did. The semen retention simply isn’t a process my partner practices. But over time, even with him, and with other men we sometimes enjoy 3-ways with, I often prefer not to ejaculate.
Now I often go months between ejaculations. If I’m camming, or even in person, I just say, “Thanks for the great idea, but no thanks, I’d rather not come anytime soon!”
BRUCE P. GRETHER is the “BateMaster”. Mr. Grether’s lifelong love of penises and masturbation has led him to achieve a level of mastery and understanding of masturbation that is at once unique and extremely rare. He is renowned for both his ability to achieve seemingly endless states of prolonged and intense masturbatory pleasure as well as his skill in passing this knowledge on to his students. Mr. Grether has made it his life’s mission to encourage men to take their practice of masturbation to new levels of personal enrichment and self-discovery.
Mr. Grether is a globally recognized masturbation activist, an accomplished masturbation coach, and a tireless facilitator of masturbation workshops. In 2001 he coined the now popular term “Mindful Masturbation”. He is the author of a best-selling book, The Secret of the Golden Phallus, plus the erotic fantasy novels
A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.
Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.<