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Ask The Batemaster: Body Confidence

You are the only one who can actually do something about how you feel.

QUESTION: I’m in my 60s and not in bad shape, but no matter how I try with diet and exercise, I still have a little bit of a belly. All the totally in-shape younger guys (some older too) make me feel self-conscious. What can I do?

RESPONSE: This question is important to the vast majority of human males who do not look like a model or a gym devotee. Also, let’s face it, age-ism exists—only you need not let anything ruin your self-esteem. It’s so easy to make the common mistake of basing your opinion of yourself on the perceived opinions of others. Usually you really don’t know the opinions of others, and always, your own opinion of yourself matters the most.

Sure, you may sometimes get the impression that you are not someone’s ideal in appearance. Everyone feels this way sometimes, in the meat-market of online exposure of ourselves. Several important things are going on here, however: 1.) Appearance really is NOT the bottom line, even if taking decent care of yourself does signify some self-respect; 2.) Character and attitude, personality and behavior matter a great deal, even in the Cyberworld; 3.) Look carefully at your last statement above—like it or not, YOU make yourself feel self-conscious.

You are the only one who can actually do something about how you feel.

Of course, it’s not easy to be oblivious to the opinions of others, but there’s nothing more unattractive than poor self-esteem. In a world of over 7 billion now, literally everyone (regardless of looks) has a lot of people out there who will find them attractive. Have you noticed, that there are not only those fit muscle dudes on BW, but also plenty of skinnier and heavier guys? Truly, regardless of how you look to others, how you look to yourself is what makes you the King of Your Life.

Many of those guys who don’t fit the mainstream definitions of attractiveness do accept themselves as they are, and this adds a lot to their appeal.

Clearly, Brother, in terms of looks, you have some marks in your favor. Maybe it’s time to take a deeper look at yourself-image. This may involve literally looking in a full-length mirror again, observe yourself naked, and observe yourself observing. Are you, possibly, judging yourself more harshly than necessary?

Let me challenge you to do the standard “Love Yourself Mirror Exercise”: Stare directly into your own eyes, and say aloud, “[Your Name], I love you. I really, really love you, [Your Name].” Repeat and repeat, notice your reactions, good or bad, and keep repeating. Try to stop judging yourself, seek unconditional self-love.

Another great practice is something I often suggest to all male masturbators. Take some time to photograph and video yourself naked, flaccid, and also erect, and masturbating, and show your face. Remember, this is just for yourself! Sift through and pick out the most flattering images. Edit the videos to be “Best Of.” Study the result and masturbate to these images.

When you interact with guys online, keep in mind that the most ideal-looking fellows always turn out to have their own hang-ups! Believe in yourself. Confidence is a big part of being attractive to others.

The Bate Master - Bruce P. GretherBRUCE P. GRETHER is the “BateMaster”. Mr. Grether’s lifelong love of penises and masturbation has led him to achieve a level of mastery and understanding of masturbation that is at once unique and extremely rare. He is renowned for both his ability to achieve seemingly endless states of prolonged and intense masturbatory pleasure as well as his skill in passing this knowledge on to his students. Mr. Grether has made it his life’s mission to encourage men to take their practice of masturbation to new levels of personal enrichment and self-discovery.

Mr. Grether is a globally recognized masturbation activist, an accomplished masturbation coach, and a tireless facilitator of masturbation workshops. In 2001 he coined the now popular term “Mindful Masturbation”. He is the author of a best-selling book, The Secret of the Golden Phallus, plus the erotic fantasy novels The Moontusk Chronicles. His website can be found at

A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.

Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.<

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