The best approach may be to tell him about yourself, in terms of some of the things that turn you on, without getting too specific…
QUESTION: My best friend and I jacked off together ever since he first came to my high school. Then not long after we graduated he rejected me, saying he wasn’t gay, and he moved away. Well, I’m not gay either, but I really loved that, the mutual touch with another guy and just two penis buddies going at it. Now I have a hot new friend who I know loves porn, but I’m afraid to mention what I’d like to do with him. What should I do?
RESPONSE: Only you can decide if you want to masturbate with him badly enough to risk that he might not be interested or could even take offense. Prepare yourself not to count on the exact outcome ahead of time, if you bring it up. The best approach may be to tell him about yourself, in terms of some of the things that turn you on, without getting too specific, if you’re not sure of his interests.
Tell him you’d be interested in watching some porn together with him. You could say something like, “I’m just curious to see what kind of porn you like best,” or something not too totally obvious and leading, like that. Of course, in a way the message IS obvious, because two guys watching porn together are likely to get aroused, and the matter of both guys masturbating while you watch is going to pop up (pun intended) naturally.
One other issue that may be going on here is that you say you are not gay, and though you also don’t say if you could be bisexual, even if you have had some heterosexual experience of sex, do you really have anything to gain by labeling yourself? Despite those common labels, “gay, bi, and straight,” such categories really refer to types of behavior, not types of people.
The truth is that even in terms of confidential studies such as the famous Kinsey Report, it’s never possible to know when people are being completely honest in answers about such a touchy subject as sexuality. Probably the vast majority of men, regardless of how guys label themselves, can get aroused by looking at penises, and might even enjoy masturbating with a male friend in the right circumstances. As I often say, what people easily admit to others, and what people choose to do privately, are two quite different, often completely different matters.
You mentioned “mutual touch,” so there was more to it than just seeing each other with erections and masturbating. Your high school buddy may have decided not to continue such activity, that it was just an experiment he doesn’t want to repeat again, but clearly you are interested. That’s healthy human nature at work, and nothing more.
You find your new friend attractive and are curious to share something more intimate with him. I suggest you don’t rush to push it on him, as a transition from “just friends” to “bate buddies” need to follow its own pace. Trust your intuition to sense his real attitude while you get to know him better. As your friendship develops, you will be able to speak about such things more directly.
Then, once you know each other pretty well, if you can suggest watching porn together, and he agrees, it’s almost inevitable with two guys that you’ll also end up masturbating together. You’d be wise to let him decide how far it goes in terms of mutual touch.
BRUCE P. GRETHER is the “BateMaster”. Mr. Grether’s lifelong love of penises and masturbation has led him to achieve a level of mastery and understanding of masturbation that is at once unique and extremely rare. He is renowned for both his ability to achieve seemingly endless states of prolonged and intense masturbatory pleasure as well as his skill in passing this knowledge on to his students. Mr. Grether has made it his life’s mission to encourage men to take their practice of masturbation to new levels of personal enrichment and self-discovery.
Mr. Grether is a globally recognized masturbation activist, an accomplished masturbation coach, and a tireless facilitator of masturbation workshops. In 2001 he coined the now popular term “Mindful Masturbation”. He is the author of a best-selling book, The Secret of the Golden Phallus, plus the erotic fantasy novels The Moontusk Chronicles. His website can be found at www.eroticengineering.com.
A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.
Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.<