Entries by The Batemaster (Bruce P. Grether)

Ask The Batemaster: Sexual Fantasies

Distinguishing your fantasies vs. realities is important!

QUESTION: Is it wrong to fantasize about something that could be immoral, or even illegal while I masturbate? Some of those things just turn me on so intensely, man, like nothing else!


RESPONSE: Many people assume that fantasizing is what masturbation is all about. Of course, creative self-pleasure has many other major delicious facets. You can make a case for the fact that watching and listening to porn is a form of media-assisted fantasy, because you use the images that arouse you to stimulate your pleasure, and yet it remains vicarious. It is not what is actually happening here and now, though your sensations are real. But live-action porn did happen somewhere at some time and was recorded for an audience.

Ask The Batemaster: Cock And Spirituality

Spiritual? Like worshipping cock?

QUESTION: Bruce—I’ve looked at your site, which is great, and you seem to talk about masturbation being spiritual. How can this be, when religions and lots of people condemn it? Of course, I like it personally, that’s why I’m here. But spiritual? I don’t get that unless it’s, like, worshiping cock?


RESPONSE: Most definitely the pleasure your penis provides you with alters your consciousness, takes you into an exalted state, and can take you into a realm beyond words that some guys call gooning or monkey-bate babble. With all due respect to those who take religions seriously, those last experiences I mentioned remind me of “speaking in tongues,” or “glossolalia.” How can anything be more spiritual than these states where you go out of your mind in ecstasy, and enter the void of total oblivion? Each time you come back, is like a rebirth, right? Of course, you don’t need to agree with any of this.

Ask The Batemaster: Foreskin

“I notice some guys look at me funny, or even scowl. Should I say something?”

QUESTION: I’m uncut here in the USA, because my mother is sort of a Deadhead hippie type. She’s told me it’s more natural. I absolutely love my foreskin, but being in the minority in the showers at school, I notice some guys look at me funny, or even scowl. Should I say something?


RESPONSE: This can be a really sensitive subject, but unless someone says something to you or really looks freaked out, maybe it’s best to just appreciate the extra you’ve got. Try not to let anyone else’s opinion about you bother you on this, or anything else. Still, if someone says something that makes you feel weird, just say, “This is how I’m made, and I love it!” Who knows? He might even want a demonstration, or at least a bit of education!

Ask The Batemaster: I Love The Solo Bate. Am I Weird? Is This A Fetish?

…A lot of guys won’t just jack, they want to suck.”

QUESTION: I love the solo bate! Only when I’m with a guy, I love nothing better than rubbing cock2cock. Frot, you know? Best thing in the world, although a lot of guys won’t just jack, they want to suck. I even have a realistic dildo I frot my cock with. Am I weird? Is this a fetish?


RESPONSE: You are not weird at all, my friend. And you are far from alone in loving to rub your penis against the penis of a Phallic Brother. In fact, this is a special favorite of mine, which actually set me on my path to becoming an erotic activist. The truth is, I’ve encountered so many men of all kinds who tell me privately they love genital frottage with other guys, that I suspect a large percentage of human males would enjoy this practice intensely if it were encouraged.

Ask The Batemaster: Is My Cock Shrinking?

“If you don’t use it, you’ll lose it.”

QUESTION I am 43 and have been single for some time. I think my cock is getting smaller cause I only have a wank about once a week and cum quite quick when wanking, also I don’t get a proper hard on when wanking. Any advice on getting a bigger harder cock would be great. Many thanks.


RESPONSE: In fact, there is some truth to “If you don’t use it, you lose it.” With less use, meaning not masturbating often, or longer sessions, your penis can definitely seem smaller, and may actually lose size. I’ve encountered several men who went through prolonged periods with little or no sexual activity following a loss, an illness, or a traumatic breakup, who felt that when they resumed sexual activity, their penis was permanently smaller.

Ask The Batemaster: Leaking Semen Without Orgasming


QUESTION: How can I give myself small ejaculations or semen releases without actually orgasming?


RESPONSE: Among the endless nuances of male masturbatory excellence are the refinements of what guys call “edging,” dry orgasms, or continuous orgasmic states. Edging generally means spending a lot of time highly aroused, close to orgasm, but not quite going over the edge into ejaculation—at least not until you’re ready to surrender and go over that irreversible Niagara Falls of oblivion.

Ask The Batemaster: Uncut VS. Cut – Are all penises equal?

A Cut Too Far?

QUESTION: Masturbating on vid chat, twice now there’s been a guy with a foreskin who told me I was missing something important, that I’m mutilated because I’m cut. What do you think? Is it a lot better to be uncut?


RESPONSE: All penises are wonderful, circumcised or not! Many men in the USA are still circumcised as infants, a custom that began with World War 2. Of course, Jewish and Islamic men usually are circumcised, mainly for religious reasons. As far as we know the ancient Egyptians invented circumcision. They had mythic and religious beliefs around it, but also in their hot climate, they apparently thought it was easier to keep an exposed penis head clean.

Ask The Batemaster: The Prostate & Ejaculation

Shooting For Distance!

QUESTION: Since I was treated for a prostate issue, I don’t really shoot cum out, though I enjoy erections, still love stroking and have great orgasms. How do I deal with this when I masturbate with other guys?


RESPONSE: As we get older our prostate always continues to slowly grow bigger and bigger. Prostatitis, which is several different conditions, can include blockage of the urinary tract, which of course needs to be remedied. Recently, cases of prostate cancer are often evaluated differently than before. Many cases of such conditions are now known to progress very slowly and not present much danger.

Ask The Batemaster: The Diversity of Pleasure

Different Strokes

QUESTION: I love to try different ways to give myself an orgasm. Is it possible for me to make myself ejaculate if I rub my scrotum? Where is the best part of my scrotum to touch?


RESPONSE: That’s a wonderful question, which opens the doors to all kinds of delicious and delightful pleasures! Most definitely, the skin of your scrotum is very sensitive. There are all sorts of ways to stimulate that soft, textured sac that contains your balls, as bonus additions to penis pleasure.

Ask The Batemaster: The Male Visual Thing

A Multi-Sensory Experience!

Question: I’ve heard that men are primarily visually stimulated, which is why porn is such a thriving industry. But, in my times alone I often prefer to close my eyes and listen to the sounds that come from porn. Have you ever heard of anyone else like this? Would you call it a fetish?


Response: According to studies, there is some truth to the idea that men are more turned on by the visual aspect of observing explicit sexual content than many women are, and that women more often associate emotional warmth with sexual arousal. However, this is only part of the story:

Ask The Batemaster: A Gay Dilemma

Should I Ask?

QUESTION: I’m at university and I’ve got a really hot straight buddy I’d love to jack-off with, but I’m not sure how he’d react, so how do I go about it? He’s in my room a lot. He knows I’m gay and says he doesn’t mind that. Anything to do with sex turns me on totally. But yeah, it’s guys and cocks that get me the most turned on. Help!


RESPONSE: You’ve got to decide for yourself how much you want or need to masturbate with your friend because you’re not sure how he will react. Consider how important his friendship is, and how you will feel if he reacts badly. Still, there are ways to approach the subject can ease you both into the possibility of masturbating together without it becoming a problem.