“Is the Bator Closet So Different?”

QUESTION:

I told my family I’m gay, and they were okay with that. Said they love me anyway, no matter what. Great! But then I told them over Thanksgiving Dinner that I love to masturbate and they’re still really upset when it’s almost Christmas. Now I feel totally weird about being there with everyone, because even my younger sister and my older brother’s kids know! What’s this all about? How do I deal with it?

RESPONSE:

We’re at a curious cultural crossroads in a lot of ways with our species on this planet! More and more countries are legalizing homosexual behavior between consenting adults, and even gay marriage, like a wildfire spreading on the winds of change! This is not the first time, however, that I’ve noticed something that seems on the surface, peculiar: acceptance of male masturbation seems to lag behind this acceptance of LGBTQ+ people!

As I’ve mentioned here, during much of human history in most parts of the world, masturbation was often overlooked or even tacitly accepted until the early 1700s. The pamphlet titled “ONANIA (etc., etc.)” appeared on the streets of London. This pamphlet that claimed both medical and religious agreed that masturbation would drive you insane, cause blindness, and send you straight to Hell after it killed you!

The bizarre attitudes that grew from this major misinformation campaign infected first Europe, then North America and to some extent the entire world. Some religious authorities already condemned self-pleasure based upon the misinterpretation of the Biblical story of Onan, who shot his semen on the ground as a form of primitive (not very effective) birth control. The story is about coitus interruptus, not masturbation! Only during the last century, especially beginning with the “Free Love” of the 1960s and such pioneers as Kinsey and Masters and Johnson, did the medical and scientific information about sexuality begin to grow more accurate. 

Now we know that masturbation is not only natural and healthy, but beneficial, so long as you don’t let your habit reinforce guilt and shame over the matter! Perhaps people still feel extra awkward about masturbation because virtually everyone does it, while being gay is still a special case, a minority, though better understood now. To talk realistically about masturbation, you must admit that you do it and against all reason many are still not ready for this!

“…masturbation is not only natural and healthy, but beneficial, so long as you don’t let your habit reinforce guilt and shame over the matter!”

As for your own situation, I suggest that you demonstrate that it increases your self-confidence by masturbating a lot ahead of time, before you see your family, to keep yourself feeling relaxed and mellow. Be an example to everyone, even if it’s not mentioned. If it should come up, keep calm, don’t get defensive, just be factual and concise. If kids are present, don’t get detailed.

Quite commonly immediate family members feel awkward discussing their own sex lives at all, so go easy on discussing it. But do your best not to let anyone make you feel bad or awkward. Be a proud bator, Brother! 

Oh, and Happy Holy Days!!!

A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at BateWorld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.

Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.