![]() | The Batemaster (Bruce P. Grether) |
Posted on: | December 06, 2021 |
Categorized: | Ask The Batemaster |
My family is not religious or conservative. But I still feel some guilt or shame after I come. Some of my mates have always said things like, “Wankers are losers,” and they use the word “wanker” as an insult. Where does this come from? How can I overcome it?
Your situation is common, Brother! Apart from those who suffer greatly from shame and guilt that are obviously due to cultural or religious beliefs, this kind of broader and deeper conditioning is almost inescapable! Very few men can just naturally and easily shrug off these acquired feelings. But you are well on your way to liberation from such guilt and shame simply by being aware of it.
Many people who seem to suffer such damaging, devastating feelings “from inside them,” hardly question the source of such self-judgments.
These feelings and experiences are not at all natural and inevitable! With awareness, and by practicing self-love, which is self-acceptance, you can indeed liberate yourself from these acquired feelings. In most cases, the source of these feelings is the attitudes and beliefs of people in your surroundings. They suffer similar feelings of guilt and shame. Even when they do not intend to pass them on to you, in many subtle ways, these influence you. People often say things without intending to influence you, yet you absorb them. Attitudes of others may shape your attitudes more than you notice.
“With awareness, and by practicing self-love, which is self-acceptance, you can indeed liberate yourself from these acquired feelings.“
Awareness of this is only a first step. You cannot simply think or reason your way out of it. Consciously give yourself permission to seek and generate more and more pleasure for yourself, of higher and higher quality as you masturbate. Eventually, the pleasure itself begins to change you and erodes the guilt and shame, like rainfall and waterways changing a landscape. This analogy works further, for the pleasure will also irrigate good things in your personality and help them to grow and flourish.
This magnificent human experience that I call pure penis pleasure is really the creative energy itself. It is the source of not only enjoyment of life, but of happiness and joy in all manner of things! A man who can happily masturbate as much as he wishes and has dissolved any guilt or shame about it, has a great advantage over men who still labor against themselves.
Personal growth and transformation, being able to follow your dreams and fulfil yourself are not a matter of forcing your will upon circumstances, but of getting out of your own way. When you give yourself permission to experience as much self-pleasure as you can possibly want, you are well ahead of the pack!
A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.
Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.
My family is not religious or conservative. But I still feel some guilt or shame after I come. Some of my mates have always said things like, “Wankers are losers,” and they use the word “wanker” as an insult. Where does this come from? How can I overcome it?
Your situation is common, Brother! Apart from those who suffer greatly from shame and guilt that are obviously due to cultural or religious beliefs, this kind of broader and deeper conditioning is almost inescapable! Very few men can just naturally and easily shrug off these acquired feelings. But you are well on your way to liberation from such guilt and shame simply by being aware of it.
Many people who seem to suffer such damaging, devastating feelings “from inside them,” hardly question the source of such self-judgments.
These feelings and experiences are not at all natural and inevitable! With awareness, and by practicing self-love, which is self-acceptance, you can indeed liberate yourself from these acquired feelings. In most cases, the source of these feelings is the attitudes and beliefs of people in your surroundings. They suffer similar feelings of guilt and shame. Even when they do not intend to pass them on to you, in many subtle ways, these influence you. People often say things without intending to influence you, yet you absorb them. Attitudes of others may shape your attitudes more than you notice.
“With awareness, and by practicing self-love, which is self-acceptance, you can indeed liberate yourself from these acquired feelings.“
Awareness of this is only a first step. You cannot simply think or reason your way out of it. Consciously give yourself permission to seek and generate more and more pleasure for yourself, of higher and higher quality as you masturbate. Eventually, the pleasure itself begins to change you and erodes the guilt and shame, like rainfall and waterways changing a landscape. This analogy works further, for the pleasure will also irrigate good things in your personality and help them to grow and flourish.
This magnificent human experience that I call pure penis pleasure is really the creative energy itself. It is the source of not only enjoyment of life, but of happiness and joy in all manner of things! A man who can happily masturbate as much as he wishes and has dissolved any guilt or shame about it, has a great advantage over men who still labor against themselves.
Personal growth and transformation, being able to follow your dreams and fulfil yourself are not a matter of forcing your will upon circumstances, but of getting out of your own way. When you give yourself permission to experience as much self-pleasure as you can possibly want, you are well ahead of the pack!
A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.
Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.
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Ah the “guiltys” … I believe it’s really a learned response and is so common. It’s something we’ve surely all dealt with, feeling odd/weird, guilty or shameful after we masturbate. I had those feelings right after my orgasm for many years. But those feelings would fade away a short time later or at least by the next day and I would be ready to masturbate again.
Eventually in my 30s or 40s I finally realized “Who cares, it’s just sex. Enjoy it!”
For you, the one reading this, around us there are these jokes that may put a label that masturbation is wrong or a silly thing.
These beliefs come from a puritan, religious background or from a toxic bro mentality where sex is seen as giving a status of masculinity or being preferable. They may come from shame even. These beliefs don’t look into our human nature and don’t consider feelings, needs, stages of life and even the body (how crazy is that).
When you believe them, when you let these influence you, you don’t enjoy your sexual dimension fully, all the pleasure and the entire experience of pleasure. Masturbating with guilt or shame inhibits the expression of your true self, of your complete being and instills those bad feelings into your body for the future.
When you are emotionally and physiologically free of guilt or shame, it may even feel better, stronger, more intense and you get to enjoy a complete experience. No need to hold yourself back.
Moreover, mates make these jokes many times because they may feel akward or ashamed about themselves masturbating and want to deflect or make others not even suspect them of masturbating. The truth is everyone masturbate at the end of the day when all these jokes have been thrown around. But why should we continue harming ourselves like that?
Remember masturbation is normal, healthy and natural and all men masturbate.
Focus on the feelings of euphoria and relaxation that you have after ejaculation and choose fear, guilt and shame to not put a shadow on your experience anymore. Accept the pleasure shamelessly, with self love, acceptance of our human existence, pleasure and experience. You are allowed to be free, you are allowed to feel all that it is, without roadblocks. You did nothing wrong. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it.
Masturbate in private, do it with a reasonable frequency and enjoy your body and sexuality, while it lasts. I know is difficult when you get different vibes from around. We men here and everywhere are telling you that you’re like us, we’re like each other. You are allowed to masturbate shame and guilt free. Enjoy this superpower your body has. Enjoy it freely. Enjoy it FULLY. I allow you to do so.
Question…when I masturbate I have a very intense orgasm..totally enjoyed….but I don’t have any ejaculate..no cum. Is it an age thing? My Doc said it’s ok but I’m still concerned and feel it could be a “downer” for a partner if I’m with someone? Help, please to ease my mind. Thanks