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Ask The Batemaster: Masturbation Shaming

Masturbation Shame - The Bator Blog

“They say it’s not real sex, that it’s only for losers…”

QUESTION:

My buddies at work and in the hood, all act weird because I’m pretty open and proud about how much I love the bate. They tease me and claim they never do it unless they have to. They say it’s not real sex, that it’s only for losers… and I have to wonder, how do I handle this? How do I convince them how great it is!? Or do I just ignore it?

RESPONSE:

Be aware that those dudes who put down masturbation are probably just mainly being less honest than you are. Also, they are repeating common negative PR about male masturbation, which is simply not accurate.

Most men masturbate, unless they have some serious physical health issue or mental health issue. Some men must take pharmaceutical drugs for important medical reasons, which reduce or eliminate their sex-drive. What is unfortunately still common among the vast majority of men (probably close to 100% of human males) who do masturbate, is that sadly many men still have mixed feelings about their habit, including learned guilt and shame. IN this case the word “learned” is important.

Your hood buddies express conditioned opinions that really have no evidential basis. You can actually make a good case for the fact that masturbation is actually the original and primary form of sexual behavior. Masturbation tends to be the first form of erotic pleasure for many people. Other forms of sexual enjoyment tend to grow from it and be variations on the theme of self-pleasure.

Most global cultures still get this backwards. People are often expected to have sex with other people without much information on how to do it well, and before they really learn how to make love with themselves. A more enlightened (and effective) approach is to humble yourself enough to go back and retrain yourself with enhanced masturbation skills. This enhances your connection with other human beings.

Sexuality, physical and emotional pleasure, are the strongest undercurrent in all human experience, something that much human culture and religions throw off with attitudes and beliefs that are simply untrue and inhumane. Sex is often inhibited by authorities as a way to control and limit people.

There is nothing more natural, healthy, and beneficial than discovering in your own experience—despite some odd attitudes and misinformation that inhibits others—that to pleasure yourself is actively beneficial in many ways, and one of life’s greatest joys!

Your hood buddies either don’t get it, or they are pretending. It’s probably best to accept their attitudes and not argue, but they may be missing out. Don’t let their supposed or actual opinions compromise your own full enjoyment of masturbating.

A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.

Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.

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The Batemaster (Bruce P. Grether)

How Bruce P. Grether became the Batemaster

Among his earliest memories, Bruce recalls seeing an adult man’s penis swing about anchored in a nest of curly brown hairs when the man was changing clothes. That penis fascinated him and he somehow knew it was of major importance. He also remembers how good it felt to slide down a stairway banister or to climb a tree with pressure between his legs sending delicious sensations all through his body.

At an early age, he played doctor with another boy his age, and the frottage he enjoyed as they rubbed their penises together made him feel One with All Things.

He was older, maybe 9 or 10 years when he figured out how to actually masturbate while taking a shower. Immediately Bruce became a fan of self-pleasure, though, with puberty, he became extremely shy about his body being seen. Still, when his pubic hair sprouted and his penis grew bigger, it astonished him how incredible the sensations could feel with adult genitalia.

All through his 20s and 30s Bruce loved masturbating and did it often. Something kept tell him though, that there could be more to it. None of the books he read about Tantra and Taoist erotic cultivation provided simple how-to instructions. Finally, in his early 40s, he came upon Joseph Kramer’s video about male genital massage: FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN.

Having no playmates to try this with, he tried it on himself. In the process, he discovered what he soon named “Mindful Masturbation.” For 6 weeks he masturbated for hours every day, and did not ejaculate once! This was the Penis Paradise he had been looking for since his adventures playing doctor as a young boy. He was changed forever and lost most of his shyness and insecurities.

Bruce began to listen deeply to whatever his penis told him. This way he learned more and more about male masturbation, the penis, and he studied human sexuality. Soon he was hired to write professionally for the sex education site JackinWorld (dot) com, which he did for some years under the name “Bruce McFarland.”

Since then, his erotic activism is more radical and he uses his actual given name: Bruce P. Grether, AKA the Batemaster. He has hosted workshops and now does online masturbation coaching. In 2012 his best-selling book THE SECRET OF THE GOLDEN PHALLUS was published and with his handsome young friend Blue Tyger he created the Erotic Engineering site to explore advanced male self-pleasure practices.

Bruce considers himself a Missionary of the Male Mysteries and his work continues.


View all posts by The Batemaster (Bruce P. Grether)

How Bruce P. Grether became the Batemaster

Among his earliest memories, Bruce recalls seeing an adult man’s penis swing about anchored in a nest of curly brown hairs when the man was changing clothes. That penis fascinated him and he somehow knew it was of major importance. He also remembers how good it felt to slide down a stairway banister or to climb a tree with pressure between his legs sending delicious sensations all through his body.

At an early age, he played doctor with another boy his age, and the frottage he enjoyed as they rubbed their penises together made him feel One with All Things.

He was older, maybe 9 or 10 years when he figured out how to actually masturbate while taking a shower. Immediately Bruce became a fan of self-pleasure, though, with puberty, he became extremely shy about his body being seen. Still, when his pubic hair sprouted and his penis grew bigger, it astonished him how incredible the sensations could feel with adult genitalia.

All through his 20s and 30s Bruce loved masturbating and did it often. Something kept tell him though, that there could be more to it. None of the books he read about Tantra and Taoist erotic cultivation provided simple how-to instructions. Finally, in his early 40s, he came upon Joseph Kramer’s video about male genital massage: FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN.

Having no playmates to try this with, he tried it on himself. In the process, he discovered what he soon named “Mindful Masturbation.” For 6 weeks he masturbated for hours every day, and did not ejaculate once! This was the Penis Paradise he had been looking for since his adventures playing doctor as a young boy. He was changed forever and lost most of his shyness and insecurities.

Bruce began to listen deeply to whatever his penis told him. This way he learned more and more about male masturbation, the penis, and he studied human sexuality. Soon he was hired to write professionally for the sex education site JackinWorld (dot) com, which he did for some years under the name “Bruce McFarland.”

Since then, his erotic activism is more radical and he uses his actual given name: Bruce P. Grether, AKA the Batemaster. He has hosted workshops and now does online masturbation coaching. In 2012 his best-selling book THE SECRET OF THE GOLDEN PHALLUS was published and with his handsome young friend Blue Tyger he created the Erotic Engineering site to explore advanced male self-pleasure practices.

Bruce considers himself a Missionary of the Male Mysteries and his work continues.

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2 Comments

  1. Back in the late ’70s, when having a smoke with my two best friends at the time in the outdoor smoking area at high school, I admitted that I masturbated to them. One of them claimed that he never did it and he more or less disowned me afterwards. He then started to “spread the word” about my habits to others, in order to shame me. (Some friend he turned out to be).

    Bottom line is, be yourself. Fuck what anyone else says or thinks. True friends don’t abandon you. The other friend in that scenario is still my bestie and that is almost 48 years later. We were texting earlier this evening.