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Ask The Batemaster: Isn’t Loving Yourself Just Selfishness?

Ask The Batemaster: Isn’t Loving Yourself Just Selfishness?

Actual, psychologically healthy self-love is a quality many enthusiastic masturbators manifest.

QUESTION:

Bruce, you often talk about self-pleasure as a form of loving yourself. Isn’t loving yourself just selfishness? I mean, at the expense of other people? How is this different from narcissism, or is it different? How can this really be a good thing?

RESPONSE:

Actual, psychologically healthy self-love is a quality many enthusiastic masturbators manifest. Other people often sense this, as your decent self-esteem, and a certain relaxed acceptance of self as you are and of others as they are. But this is not a sense of superiority, and it harms no one else.

As I understand the psychological meaning of “narcissism,” it is a very different animal from self-love, in truth in some ways quite the opposite. A narcissist cares only about their self. They have little or no empathy for how other people feel. Serious narcissism is being extremely self-centered, to an extent that you really lack interest in anyone else, unless they can be used to your advantage. You are not interested in any opinions that contradict your own.

This psychological condition may make someone appear confident, but it is based on deep insecurity, and forms a kind of shielding, or protection from any challenge to the narcissist’s view of how superior they are to others.

Self-love, on the other hand, should not be mistaken for vanity or confused with being self-centered at the expense of others. Vanity may mean you are fixated on your own appearance, and consider yourself better-looking than many other people, or more wonderful than others, though but of course such judgments are highly subjective individual viewpoints.

Self-love, on the other hand, should not be mistaken for vanity or confused with being self-centered at the expense of others.

Most of us do not have mainstream “model or actor” good looks, and yet there are usually plenty of people who find us attractive. Appeal to others is not purely based on how we look to them. In most cases this involves other inner qualities that people sense about us. People may be attracted to your attitude and personality if you are kind or fun to be with. Also, if you are self-centered to an extent that you act as if you are always more important than others, this will usually make you seem less attractive to people who encounter you.

Healthy self-love involves accepting yourself as you are, not judging yourself too harshly, even if there are some things about yourself you might wish to improve or work on. Any changes to your lifestyle and how you treat yourself that might make you feel better, are always good.

In my experience, when you enjoy as much pure penis pleasure as you want while you masturbate, without guilt or shame about it, this is a significant part of genuinely loving yourself in a healthy manner. This is also beneficial to those you relate to because it helps you to be a more balanced and happier human male.

A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.

Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.

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The Batemaster (Bruce P. Grether)

How Bruce P. Grether became the Batemaster

Among his earliest memories, Bruce recalls seeing an adult man’s penis swing about anchored in a nest of curly brown hairs when the man was changing clothes. That penis fascinated him and he somehow knew it was of major importance. He also remembers how good it felt to slide down a stairway banister or to climb a tree with pressure between his legs sending delicious sensations all through his body.

At an early age, he played doctor with another boy his age, and the frottage he enjoyed as they rubbed their penises together made him feel One with All Things.

He was older, maybe 9 or 10 years when he figured out how to actually masturbate while taking a shower. Immediately Bruce became a fan of self-pleasure, though, with puberty, he became extremely shy about his body being seen. Still, when his pubic hair sprouted and his penis grew bigger, it astonished him how incredible the sensations could feel with adult genitalia.

All through his 20s and 30s Bruce loved masturbating and did it often. Something kept tell him though, that there could be more to it. None of the books he read about Tantra and Taoist erotic cultivation provided simple how-to instructions. Finally, in his early 40s, he came upon Joseph Kramer’s video about male genital massage: FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN.

Having no playmates to try this with, he tried it on himself. In the process, he discovered what he soon named “Mindful Masturbation.” For 6 weeks he masturbated for hours every day, and did not ejaculate once! This was the Penis Paradise he had been looking for since his adventures playing doctor as a young boy. He was changed forever and lost most of his shyness and insecurities.

Bruce began to listen deeply to whatever his penis told him. This way he learned more and more about male masturbation, the penis, and he studied human sexuality. Soon he was hired to write professionally for the sex education site JackinWorld (dot) com, which he did for some years under the name “Bruce McFarland.”

Since then, his erotic activism is more radical and he uses his actual given name: Bruce P. Grether, AKA the Batemaster. He has hosted workshops and now does online masturbation coaching. In 2012 his best-selling book THE SECRET OF THE GOLDEN PHALLUS was published and with his handsome young friend Blue Tyger he created the Erotic Engineering site to explore advanced male self-pleasure practices.

Bruce considers himself a Missionary of the Male Mysteries and his work continues.


View all posts by The Batemaster (Bruce P. Grether)

How Bruce P. Grether became the Batemaster

Among his earliest memories, Bruce recalls seeing an adult man’s penis swing about anchored in a nest of curly brown hairs when the man was changing clothes. That penis fascinated him and he somehow knew it was of major importance. He also remembers how good it felt to slide down a stairway banister or to climb a tree with pressure between his legs sending delicious sensations all through his body.

At an early age, he played doctor with another boy his age, and the frottage he enjoyed as they rubbed their penises together made him feel One with All Things.

He was older, maybe 9 or 10 years when he figured out how to actually masturbate while taking a shower. Immediately Bruce became a fan of self-pleasure, though, with puberty, he became extremely shy about his body being seen. Still, when his pubic hair sprouted and his penis grew bigger, it astonished him how incredible the sensations could feel with adult genitalia.

All through his 20s and 30s Bruce loved masturbating and did it often. Something kept tell him though, that there could be more to it. None of the books he read about Tantra and Taoist erotic cultivation provided simple how-to instructions. Finally, in his early 40s, he came upon Joseph Kramer’s video about male genital massage: FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN.

Having no playmates to try this with, he tried it on himself. In the process, he discovered what he soon named “Mindful Masturbation.” For 6 weeks he masturbated for hours every day, and did not ejaculate once! This was the Penis Paradise he had been looking for since his adventures playing doctor as a young boy. He was changed forever and lost most of his shyness and insecurities.

Bruce began to listen deeply to whatever his penis told him. This way he learned more and more about male masturbation, the penis, and he studied human sexuality. Soon he was hired to write professionally for the sex education site JackinWorld (dot) com, which he did for some years under the name “Bruce McFarland.”

Since then, his erotic activism is more radical and he uses his actual given name: Bruce P. Grether, AKA the Batemaster. He has hosted workshops and now does online masturbation coaching. In 2012 his best-selling book THE SECRET OF THE GOLDEN PHALLUS was published and with his handsome young friend Blue Tyger he created the Erotic Engineering site to explore advanced male self-pleasure practices.

Bruce considers himself a Missionary of the Male Mysteries and his work continues.

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