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Ask The Batemaster: When Is This Addiction?

The truth about masturbation is that it cannot have any harmful effects.

QUESTION: Most days I masturbate for at least an hour or two. Can you tell me when this becomes an addiction? Is it so bad to think of it that way?

RESPONSE: Plenty of men in today’s world of male masturbators proudly proclaim themselves to be addicted to masturbation. This is a kind of question I have responded to before. Partly this boils down to a matter of definition and word choices. By definition an addiction often refers to a compulsive physiological need for something habit-forming that has harmful effects. The truth about masturbation is that it cannot have any harmful effects, not unless it reinforces learned guilt or shame, which in practice is still quite often the case. 

The term “addiction” in general use tends to have a negative connotation. Even when guilt and shame are still involved, it is not the action of stimulating your own genitals that causes the harm. Harm may result because of the acquired aura of guilt or shame learned from others, that accompanies the activity.  Do your best to release or overcome that self-loathing, so you can fully enjoy your masturbatory pleasure.

Many more men experience some lingering guilt and shame associated with masturbation, than wish to admit it to themselves, or to anyone else. Let me emphasize that these negative feelings are learned and may be unlearned. The most effective remedy is to retrain yourself to break habitual masturbation patterns and increase the quality of your pleasure. Many men get into a rut during their teens or early adulthood and continue to masturbate much the same way.

Make a conscious choice to try new and different practices during masturbation. Surrender to increased, enhanced erotic ecstasy can eventually help you more than any amount of counseling, pharmaceutical drug therapy, or logical reasoning on the subject.

Specifically speaking to “when this becomes an addiction,” my advice is usually that you cannot possibly masturbate “too much,” unless your compulsion actually interferes with or prevents you from doing other important things you wish or need to accomplish. Be as honest as you can with yourself about this, and you will have your own answer.

Most men love to masturbate. To masturbate a great deal is generally not only common and “normal” for men, but overall is good for your health on every level, physical, mental, emotional, spiritual—however you wish to describe the whole package of being an embodied human.

Allow how much you appreciate the sensations of masturbation to inspire you to take good care of yourself. The better you take care of yourself, the more you can enjoy masturbating! Exercise, hydrate, eat a healthy diet, keep your mind active, rest enough, sleep plenty—all of these in turn enhance your masturbatory pleasure.

Masturbation is an important part of good self-care!

A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.

Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.

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The Batemaster (Bruce P. Grether)

How Bruce P. Grether became the Batemaster

Among his earliest memories, Bruce recalls seeing an adult man’s penis swing about anchored in a nest of curly brown hairs when the man was changing clothes. That penis fascinated him and he somehow knew it was of major importance. He also remembers how good it felt to slide down a stairway banister or to climb a tree with pressure between his legs sending delicious sensations all through his body.

At an early age, he played doctor with another boy his age, and the frottage he enjoyed as they rubbed their penises together made him feel One with All Things.

He was older, maybe 9 or 10 years when he figured out how to actually masturbate while taking a shower. Immediately Bruce became a fan of self-pleasure, though, with puberty, he became extremely shy about his body being seen. Still, when his pubic hair sprouted and his penis grew bigger, it astonished him how incredible the sensations could feel with adult genitalia.

All through his 20s and 30s Bruce loved masturbating and did it often. Something kept tell him though, that there could be more to it. None of the books he read about Tantra and Taoist erotic cultivation provided simple how-to instructions. Finally, in his early 40s, he came upon Joseph Kramer’s video about male genital massage: FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN.

Having no playmates to try this with, he tried it on himself. In the process, he discovered what he soon named “Mindful Masturbation.” For 6 weeks he masturbated for hours every day, and did not ejaculate once! This was the Penis Paradise he had been looking for since his adventures playing doctor as a young boy. He was changed forever and lost most of his shyness and insecurities.

Bruce began to listen deeply to whatever his penis told him. This way he learned more and more about male masturbation, the penis, and he studied human sexuality. Soon he was hired to write professionally for the sex education site JackinWorld (dot) com, which he did for some years under the name “Bruce McFarland.”

Since then, his erotic activism is more radical and he uses his actual given name: Bruce P. Grether, AKA the Batemaster. He has hosted workshops and now does online masturbation coaching. In 2012 his best-selling book THE SECRET OF THE GOLDEN PHALLUS was published and with his handsome young friend Blue Tyger he created the Erotic Engineering site to explore advanced male self-pleasure practices.

Bruce considers himself a Missionary of the Male Mysteries and his work continues.


View all posts by The Batemaster (Bruce P. Grether)

How Bruce P. Grether became the Batemaster

Among his earliest memories, Bruce recalls seeing an adult man’s penis swing about anchored in a nest of curly brown hairs when the man was changing clothes. That penis fascinated him and he somehow knew it was of major importance. He also remembers how good it felt to slide down a stairway banister or to climb a tree with pressure between his legs sending delicious sensations all through his body.

At an early age, he played doctor with another boy his age, and the frottage he enjoyed as they rubbed their penises together made him feel One with All Things.

He was older, maybe 9 or 10 years when he figured out how to actually masturbate while taking a shower. Immediately Bruce became a fan of self-pleasure, though, with puberty, he became extremely shy about his body being seen. Still, when his pubic hair sprouted and his penis grew bigger, it astonished him how incredible the sensations could feel with adult genitalia.

All through his 20s and 30s Bruce loved masturbating and did it often. Something kept tell him though, that there could be more to it. None of the books he read about Tantra and Taoist erotic cultivation provided simple how-to instructions. Finally, in his early 40s, he came upon Joseph Kramer’s video about male genital massage: FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN.

Having no playmates to try this with, he tried it on himself. In the process, he discovered what he soon named “Mindful Masturbation.” For 6 weeks he masturbated for hours every day, and did not ejaculate once! This was the Penis Paradise he had been looking for since his adventures playing doctor as a young boy. He was changed forever and lost most of his shyness and insecurities.

Bruce began to listen deeply to whatever his penis told him. This way he learned more and more about male masturbation, the penis, and he studied human sexuality. Soon he was hired to write professionally for the sex education site JackinWorld (dot) com, which he did for some years under the name “Bruce McFarland.”

Since then, his erotic activism is more radical and he uses his actual given name: Bruce P. Grether, AKA the Batemaster. He has hosted workshops and now does online masturbation coaching. In 2012 his best-selling book THE SECRET OF THE GOLDEN PHALLUS was published and with his handsome young friend Blue Tyger he created the Erotic Engineering site to explore advanced male self-pleasure practices.

Bruce considers himself a Missionary of the Male Mysteries and his work continues.

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8 Comments

  1. I masturbate a lot. Everyday when I come home I get nude and jack off. I can’t keep my hands off of my dick. I think about masturbation when I’m at work and I think about jacking off when I get home. I’ll do it for 4 or 5 hours non stop. Is that too much?

    1. I masturbate as much as you and perhaps more. When I’m not masturbating I’m thinking about it!
      I schedule ME time during the week and allot even more time on the weekends (Don’t bother me I’m masturbating).
      This is probably an addition, but I’m enjoying it!

  2. Thank you for your gentle refutation of the “masturbation addict” notion. Without explicitly saying that masturbation addiction isn’t a thing, you make clear that it simply is not. As one of millions who have struggled successfully with substance and process addictions in my personal life, I appreciate your self-love as self-care perspective.

  3. Amen to that, brother. I couldn’t have said it better myself and have little to add. Masturbation is a wonderful gift we have. I look at it as one of life’s rewards. I was raised a Catholic and experienced guilt feelings every time I masturbated. I have since long ago shed these guilty feelings, fully embraced my “addiction” to masturbation and continue to grow and seek greater masturbation pleasure with each experience. In this case I do not find a negative connotation to the word addiction. It just emphasizes my desire, yea need, to masturbate.

    1. Omg me too, used to experience the “guiltys” perhaps after every masturbation session. Even after my very first time, whatever that amazing, wonderful feeling, I’m NEVER doing that again. Don’t recall how long -never- lasted, I’m guessing it wasn’t very long before I was doing it again. And the more we do it, the easier and more comfortable we get masturbating. And we end up embracing our addiction as something that’s really OK to do. And so pleasurable. Just enjoy it.

  4. Such an interesting topic for discussion. And gets asked or mentioned on BW or posted on profiles here. It’s something I used to kinda sorta worry & wonder about but somewhere in my masturbation career, 30-40’s, I realized, “Who cares…” If it’s something we enjoy doing – just enjoy it.

    I do see posts from bators who seem to make it a ‘career’ choice. Wanting to do it all day/night long. That’s not my career choice but its just a personal decision.

  5. I have been masturbating since I can remember. Hell, I’m stroking my Penis as I type this. I touch and worship my Cock every day. When I was younger I used to feel guilty and I too swore I would never do it again. But soon I was at it again because it just felt so good to pleasure my Dick. In time the guilt went away and I saw that it was all perfectly normal to masturbate as much as I wanted to. So glad there are now websites that promote and encourage and enhance my Penis love. Ed.

  6. I am always in great mood thinking about masturbating – it doesn’t in any way interrupt my plans – I know it is healthy and I am not the only one exploring myself