The Batemaster (Bruce P. Grether) |
Posted on: | March 27, 2020 |
Categorized: | Ask The Batemaster |
QUESTION: Maybe I’m just feeling a bit sorry for myself, but with age (I’m now 56) it seems that looking at all the hot, buff guys online who masturbate and have sex makes me feel unattractive. I’ve lost most of my hair up top and gotten a bit “fluffy” around the middle. Some of my pix on Bateworld are a few years old, so now I feel unwilling to cam. Should I just get over this and just have fun? Or do I need to work on my appearance?
RESPONSE: Your basic situation is a lot more common than you may imagine. The majority of men do not look like handsome porn models or gym bunnies, and some heavy guys, and far older guys than you, simply go ahead and share themselves—let the chips fall where they may. In truth, it is a rather unpleasant reality that some men are totally hung up on appearance; that doesn’t mean they are bad people, at all. However, a certain generosity of spirit, acceptance of the variety of imperfections most of us can find in our own appearance, can go a long way.
No matter what you look like, you most often have little idea of how others actually see you. In the “real” world, you also find that many men are interested in the kind of person you are, interested in your attitude, and no one can possibly live up to most people’s ideals for male appearance. Regardless of your appearance, there are no doubt plenty of men out in the world of male masturbators both online and off, who would give you a chance. They may appreciate your total enthusiasm for masturbation and return to you similar appreciation if you express appreciation to them.
The world of online masturbators can seem like a meat market, with ego-price tags that require you to live up to someone’s expectation. If you expose yourself as you actually appear now to a wider audience, you might get some mixed reactions. But the extent to which this bothers you will also grow out of how you truly feel about yourself.
At present, your self-esteem seems shaky. Understandably you feel vulnerable, but it is always a mistake to compare yourself with others—especially in the ambiguous world of appearance. I mean. How accurately does anyone really see themselves? Many men that you might encounter as potential camming buddies are probably just as uncertain as you are about whether or not they look desirable. You should only seek masturbation on cam without certain expectations. Let it be an adventure with uncertain outcomes.
It may help to toughen yourself up in your own mind ahead of time. I often suggest the “Love Yourself” mirror exercise of staring into your own eyes, and telling yourself by name, over and over again how much you love you. Say: “I really, really love you!” This can seem forced, or like acting at first. But reinforce this feeling.
Only you can decide if it’s worth remaining in your prison of poor self-esteem. To judge yourself harshly only makes you less attractive; to generously love yourself has quite the opposite effect!
A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.
Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.
QUESTION: Maybe I’m just feeling a bit sorry for myself, but with age (I’m now 56) it seems that looking at all the hot, buff guys online who masturbate and have sex makes me feel unattractive. I’ve lost most of my hair up top and gotten a bit “fluffy” around the middle. Some of my pix on Bateworld are a few years old, so now I feel unwilling to cam. Should I just get over this and just have fun? Or do I need to work on my appearance?
RESPONSE: Your basic situation is a lot more common than you may imagine. The majority of men do not look like handsome porn models or gym bunnies, and some heavy guys, and far older guys than you, simply go ahead and share themselves—let the chips fall where they may. In truth, it is a rather unpleasant reality that some men are totally hung up on appearance; that doesn’t mean they are bad people, at all. However, a certain generosity of spirit, acceptance of the variety of imperfections most of us can find in our own appearance, can go a long way.
No matter what you look like, you most often have little idea of how others actually see you. In the “real” world, you also find that many men are interested in the kind of person you are, interested in your attitude, and no one can possibly live up to most people’s ideals for male appearance. Regardless of your appearance, there are no doubt plenty of men out in the world of male masturbators both online and off, who would give you a chance. They may appreciate your total enthusiasm for masturbation and return to you similar appreciation if you express appreciation to them.
The world of online masturbators can seem like a meat market, with ego-price tags that require you to live up to someone’s expectation. If you expose yourself as you actually appear now to a wider audience, you might get some mixed reactions. But the extent to which this bothers you will also grow out of how you truly feel about yourself.
At present, your self-esteem seems shaky. Understandably you feel vulnerable, but it is always a mistake to compare yourself with others—especially in the ambiguous world of appearance. I mean. How accurately does anyone really see themselves? Many men that you might encounter as potential camming buddies are probably just as uncertain as you are about whether or not they look desirable. You should only seek masturbation on cam without certain expectations. Let it be an adventure with uncertain outcomes.
It may help to toughen yourself up in your own mind ahead of time. I often suggest the “Love Yourself” mirror exercise of staring into your own eyes, and telling yourself by name, over and over again how much you love you. Say: “I really, really love you!” This can seem forced, or like acting at first. But reinforce this feeling.
Only you can decide if it’s worth remaining in your prison of poor self-esteem. To judge yourself harshly only makes you less attractive; to generously love yourself has quite the opposite effect!
A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.
Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.
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I just got a new webcam and live streamed myself last night on BateWorld Vid Chat. This was my first real experience on cam. I am 62 (63 next month) and like you, brave questioner, I have gotten a bit fluffy around the middle. I have fantasized about exhibiting myself on cam for a long time, but couldn’t work up the nerve, also like you. But our current isolation experiences have, for me like a lot of you, further charged my bate practice. The idea of so many men dealing with the same emotional, mental and physical issues around COVID and jacking themselves off as a positive contribution of energy flow finally made me go for it. I spent a lot of yesterday afternoon installing the cam, figuring out different angles of placement and lighting. Then I took a Viagra about 6pm and started some edging and playing for the evening. (Yes, I took a Viagra – I was still too self-conscious about the strength of my erection on cam to not.) I got online on and off for a couple of hours while my edging energy ebbed and flowed. There were usually anywhere from 3 to 6 guys watching me – and I watched back. And guess what, they were mostly like me – middle aged to senior, various amounts of hair, various levels of rigidity to their cocks – and it was fun. I finally blew a great load using a wand vibrator on the head of my cock and shooting all over my very old and worn leather cap. I expect to do this again soon and next time I’m not going to take the Viagra – because I also like my poppers. I’m going to kick back and revel in the brotherhood. If you aren’t someone’s type, they’ll move on. If someone is snarky – fuck ’em. Remember, what anyone thinks about you is about them, not you. From one ‘fluffy, older guy’ to another – I hope I see you on a cam sometime, owning your pleasure and the body that is letting you experience it! Bate on, bro!
Yeah, I have a similar feeling. It comes from some guys having a real hate on for older men, not about my body or cock.
Older for those types is over 40…lol.
Imagine how shaky anyone over 50 must feel.
60, might as well be dead.
I know that not all feel this way but I would go so far as to say many do, certainly enough to not put meself in the degrading, embarrassing position to be sneered at.
But, if one is thick skinned and willing to be ridiculed…