The Batemaster (Bruce P. Grether) |
Posted on: | June 14, 2019 |
Categorized: | Ask The Batemaster |
QUESTION: Nothing feels so good to me as masturbation. Not sucking, not fucking, not anything else. Sharing with a buddy can be great, but not better than just me and my penis where I’m in complete control. I don’t even look at porn much, just get off on myself! Some guys don’t understand, but it’s all I want. How can I make them understand?
RESPONSE: Maybe it’s not so important to convince anyone else of your preference, but it’s wonderful that you know this about yourself for certain, and that you are sharing it here on TheBatorBlog. Never hesitate to make clear to others what you really want the most. What you describe sounds like what many folks mean these days by “solosexual.” If it matters to convince anyone else, just tell them, but then by your behavior, too, you can demonstrate.
In today’s over-populated world where so many people can be desperately lonely in a crowd, and plenty of others desperately seek sexual fulfillment with others, there is a lot to be said for your erotic self-sufficiency. You may inspire plenty of other guys by example, to consider the benefits of masturbation as a primary form of sexual enjoyment and self-affirmation, which is an identity every bit as valid as any other, and more admirable than many other ways of validating yourself. For some solosexuals, masturbation is a primary preference, but sometimes partnered experiences of other kinds are just nice options.
The matter of “proving yourself” to others by sexual conquest, or sharing, or sexual surrender with others always involves either seeking approval or validation or at least acceptance from others. Those factors can be rewarding, and they can be limiting. To seek such approval and not feel successful can be profoundly frustrating—something you can bypass with your own self-approval. Also, by example you can demonstrate that masturbation is not a substitute for something else, but a practice worthy of supreme appreciation on its own merits.
Approving of yourself is also likely to make you more appealing to others, just so long as you’re not broadcasting too much of a smugly superior vibe. Your attitude simply has major strengths and benefits. The identification as a solosexual, if you like that term, is gaining more acceptance. Though no doubt there have always been solosexuals, the actual identification of yourself as such, even in the broader community of male masturbators in general, is a healthy tendency in the direction of acceptance for diverse options.
It’s not really important that others understand your preference. When you genuinely approve of yourself, you are not dependent on the approval of others. This is always a step ahead of many people in the human herd.
To lead the way by example is most effective, in terms of self-acceptance. Even today, there are still plenty of places where people don’t even talk about masturbation, much less the kind of proud solosexuality you enjoy.
Your attitude is healthy and an option for anyone who understands the value and power of depending on yourself for pleasure!
A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.
Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your body or sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.
QUESTION: Nothing feels so good to me as masturbation. Not sucking, not fucking, not anything else. Sharing with a buddy can be great, but not better than just me and my penis where I’m in complete control. I don’t even look at porn much, just get off on myself! Some guys don’t understand, but it’s all I want. How can I make them understand?
RESPONSE: Maybe it’s not so important to convince anyone else of your preference, but it’s wonderful that you know this about yourself for certain, and that you are sharing it here on TheBatorBlog. Never hesitate to make clear to others what you really want the most. What you describe sounds like what many folks mean these days by “solosexual.” If it matters to convince anyone else, just tell them, but then by your behavior, too, you can demonstrate.
In today’s over-populated world where so many people can be desperately lonely in a crowd, and plenty of others desperately seek sexual fulfillment with others, there is a lot to be said for your erotic self-sufficiency. You may inspire plenty of other guys by example, to consider the benefits of masturbation as a primary form of sexual enjoyment and self-affirmation, which is an identity every bit as valid as any other, and more admirable than many other ways of validating yourself. For some solosexuals, masturbation is a primary preference, but sometimes partnered experiences of other kinds are just nice options.
The matter of “proving yourself” to others by sexual conquest, or sharing, or sexual surrender with others always involves either seeking approval or validation or at least acceptance from others. Those factors can be rewarding, and they can be limiting. To seek such approval and not feel successful can be profoundly frustrating—something you can bypass with your own self-approval. Also, by example you can demonstrate that masturbation is not a substitute for something else, but a practice worthy of supreme appreciation on its own merits.
Approving of yourself is also likely to make you more appealing to others, just so long as you’re not broadcasting too much of a smugly superior vibe. Your attitude simply has major strengths and benefits. The identification as a solosexual, if you like that term, is gaining more acceptance. Though no doubt there have always been solosexuals, the actual identification of yourself as such, even in the broader community of male masturbators in general, is a healthy tendency in the direction of acceptance for diverse options.
It’s not really important that others understand your preference. When you genuinely approve of yourself, you are not dependent on the approval of others. This is always a step ahead of many people in the human herd.
To lead the way by example is most effective, in terms of self-acceptance. Even today, there are still plenty of places where people don’t even talk about masturbation, much less the kind of proud solosexuality you enjoy.
Your attitude is healthy and an option for anyone who understands the value and power of depending on yourself for pleasure!
A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.
Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your body or sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.
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Interesting question and likely one we’ve all asked ourselves too, at some point in our sexual careers. And your response was perfect, it’s really all about personal choice(s) when it comes to discovering and satisfying ourselves sexually. Also our sexual interests and needs may change over time too. And that’s ok too.
Growing up I used to wonder/worry about who/what I should sexually, finding girlfriends, having sex. But early on I realized I was just better at masturbating than fucking. As I got older I realized there’s nothing wrong with that choice, just enjoy it. Yes, as you put it, self acceptance is key here.
Thanks so much, Brother! Yes, to keep yourself as open to other options as possible simply widens your horizons. At the same time, something I’ve learned in my life is that my penis continues to learn to give me ever greater and greater pleasure because I regularly train it, and I continue to learn more about it by listening deeply to what my penis and my body want. — BPG
I agree, the penis is willing to learn and make and accept changes as we grow to know ourselves better sexually. Even though the basic ‘mechanics’ of masturbating remain the same. Our pleasuring evolves and continues to grow. Even now at 65 I’m still a daily bator. The Anonymous post above was mine, not sure why my apalmer5 nick didn’t post, guess I forgot to add it – thinking so hard about what I was writing.
Amen