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Ask The Batemaster: How Do I Learn To Appreciate My Body?

Mindful Masturbation can improve self-esteem…I suggest a classic “Love Yourself” mirror exercise.

QUESTION: In my late teens I suffered a serious sexual trauma. I won’t give details, not to be a bummer, and I’m not looking for pity. But now, in my late 20s, though guys who see me naked tell me I’m really hot, in the mirror I don’t particularly like what I see. Your work has made me realize I’m missing something important. How can I get back that appreciation of myself?

RESPONSE: This is a tough statement and question to respond to. Your general situation is sadly, not so uncommon. How you can best deal with it has no simple, easy answer. At the same time, because the trauma is related to your earlier sexual experience, an important part of dealing with this is to do your best to reclaim a positive and happy experience of your sexual self.

In some way or another, just about everyone in the world is walking wounded. Most of us have suffered various traumas to different degrees, and of different kinds. Yours may fall into better perspective and be something you can move beyond more effectively by training yourself in Mindful Masturbation. This means without a major focus on porn or fantasy to distract you, but keep a focus instead on your own body, your actual sensations, and what you are doing.

A trained penis actually behaves differently from the penis that continues to be masturbated in a single style from puberty onward. The trained penis is trained by exploring a variety of possible masturbation strategies and techniques. Discover ways to prolong and heighten your sensations and increase your enjoyment. If you choose to pursue this path, due to your history, your self-esteem may act as at least a partial barrier to your efforts. But Mindful Masturbation can improve self-esteem.

I suggest a classic “Love Yourself” mirror exercise. Gaze at your reflection from close-up, stare directly into your own eyes and say aloud: “I love you, ___ (your name), I really, really love you, ___ (your name again)…” and keep repeating this. Pay attention to any feelings that arise within you. You may feel awkward, insincere, even skeptical. Only do persist with this. Eventually what seems like an act can become sincere and start to transform your feelings about yourself.

Genuine self-love must be unconditional. Not for a specific reason, not something that will happen when you fix some flaw in yourself. This is not the same as vanity, or egotism. It is about self-acceptance—love yourself as you are, simply because you exist. This takes time, some patience, and persistence, and you will succeed!

Combine this with a program of deliberate, purposeful work on increasing your masturbatory pleasure, to enjoy it for longer and longer periods, more and more intensely. When you look at yourself naked, the mirror will begin to tell you something different about what you see.

Persist, and you will get to where you want to be: a happier place!

A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.

Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.

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The Batemaster (Bruce P. Grether)

How Bruce P. Grether became the Batemaster

Among his earliest memories, Bruce recalls seeing an adult man’s penis swing about anchored in a nest of curly brown hairs when the man was changing clothes. That penis fascinated him and he somehow knew it was of major importance. He also remembers how good it felt to slide down a stairway banister or to climb a tree with pressure between his legs sending delicious sensations all through his body.

At an early age, he played doctor with another boy his age, and the frottage he enjoyed as they rubbed their penises together made him feel One with All Things.

He was older, maybe 9 or 10 years when he figured out how to actually masturbate while taking a shower. Immediately Bruce became a fan of self-pleasure, though, with puberty, he became extremely shy about his body being seen. Still, when his pubic hair sprouted and his penis grew bigger, it astonished him how incredible the sensations could feel with adult genitalia.

All through his 20s and 30s Bruce loved masturbating and did it often. Something kept tell him though, that there could be more to it. None of the books he read about Tantra and Taoist erotic cultivation provided simple how-to instructions. Finally, in his early 40s, he came upon Joseph Kramer’s video about male genital massage: FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN.

Having no playmates to try this with, he tried it on himself. In the process, he discovered what he soon named “Mindful Masturbation.” For 6 weeks he masturbated for hours every day, and did not ejaculate once! This was the Penis Paradise he had been looking for since his adventures playing doctor as a young boy. He was changed forever and lost most of his shyness and insecurities.

Bruce began to listen deeply to whatever his penis told him. This way he learned more and more about male masturbation, the penis, and he studied human sexuality. Soon he was hired to write professionally for the sex education site JackinWorld (dot) com, which he did for some years under the name “Bruce McFarland.”

Since then, his erotic activism is more radical and he uses his actual given name: Bruce P. Grether, AKA the Batemaster. He has hosted workshops and now does online masturbation coaching. In 2012 his best-selling book THE SECRET OF THE GOLDEN PHALLUS was published and with his handsome young friend Blue Tyger he created the Erotic Engineering site to explore advanced male self-pleasure practices.

Bruce considers himself a Missionary of the Male Mysteries and his work continues.


View all posts by The Batemaster (Bruce P. Grether)

How Bruce P. Grether became the Batemaster

Among his earliest memories, Bruce recalls seeing an adult man’s penis swing about anchored in a nest of curly brown hairs when the man was changing clothes. That penis fascinated him and he somehow knew it was of major importance. He also remembers how good it felt to slide down a stairway banister or to climb a tree with pressure between his legs sending delicious sensations all through his body.

At an early age, he played doctor with another boy his age, and the frottage he enjoyed as they rubbed their penises together made him feel One with All Things.

He was older, maybe 9 or 10 years when he figured out how to actually masturbate while taking a shower. Immediately Bruce became a fan of self-pleasure, though, with puberty, he became extremely shy about his body being seen. Still, when his pubic hair sprouted and his penis grew bigger, it astonished him how incredible the sensations could feel with adult genitalia.

All through his 20s and 30s Bruce loved masturbating and did it often. Something kept tell him though, that there could be more to it. None of the books he read about Tantra and Taoist erotic cultivation provided simple how-to instructions. Finally, in his early 40s, he came upon Joseph Kramer’s video about male genital massage: FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN.

Having no playmates to try this with, he tried it on himself. In the process, he discovered what he soon named “Mindful Masturbation.” For 6 weeks he masturbated for hours every day, and did not ejaculate once! This was the Penis Paradise he had been looking for since his adventures playing doctor as a young boy. He was changed forever and lost most of his shyness and insecurities.

Bruce began to listen deeply to whatever his penis told him. This way he learned more and more about male masturbation, the penis, and he studied human sexuality. Soon he was hired to write professionally for the sex education site JackinWorld (dot) com, which he did for some years under the name “Bruce McFarland.”

Since then, his erotic activism is more radical and he uses his actual given name: Bruce P. Grether, AKA the Batemaster. He has hosted workshops and now does online masturbation coaching. In 2012 his best-selling book THE SECRET OF THE GOLDEN PHALLUS was published and with his handsome young friend Blue Tyger he created the Erotic Engineering site to explore advanced male self-pleasure practices.

Bruce considers himself a Missionary of the Male Mysteries and his work continues.

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2 Comments

    1. Practice Mindful Masturbation to train your penis… which means you explore new territory on a regular basis, break habits periodically, and this way rewire nerves in your brain, nervous system, entire body and penis. This process called that big word, “neuroplasticity,” is a reason why your relaly can train your penis indefinitely to keep giving you ever-increasing levels of blissful enjoyment. A free online training int he basics can be found here, a coaching series called 9 GOLDEN KEYS OT MINDFUL MASTURBATION: https://www.eroticengineering.com/9goldenkeys-full Peace, — BPG