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Ask The Batemaster: Ejaculating With A Soft Erection

Ask The BatemasterI will come quickly before I even get hard! Is that normal?

QUESTION: Sometimes when I am in a sexually tense and very stimulating situation, like hanging out on the nude beach all afternoon, or seeing guys jerk off in a MENS room, I will come quickly before I even get hard! Is that normal?

RESPONSE: There is nothing abnormal about what you describe. It happens because the majority of erotic stimulation actually goes on in the brain. Even when you are not actively masturbating, or having your genitals stimulated, you may be mentally and emotionally highly aroused, which builds up an intense charge. This is perfectly normal, though it can end up being less fulfilling than spending time actually stimulating your penis, and then surrendering to a full-blown ejaculatory orgasm.

This could also be related to premature ejaculation, in which a man is so overly-sensitive to erotic stimulus that he cannot enjoy genital stimulation for long enough to feel really satisfied before he reaches orgasm. Your situation sounds like something else, which is prolonged mental and emotional stimulus with arousing input—those naked men you were observing, and the restroom masturbators—which provides a very exciting and somewhat tense spectacle of voyeurism, revelation, male nudity, exhibitionism and phallic display.

Because we learn by experience to associate orgasm with ejaculation, usually as maturing boys in our teens, we easily come to believe they are one and the same thing. They are not. In truth, we human males are wondrously complex, sometimes contradictory creatures, often with fantastic possibilities beyond our common experience.

You can definitely ejaculate without an erection, as you’ve experienced; you can also orgasm without ejaculation, or experience what guys call “dry orgasms,” which can allow you to continue to masturbate indefinitely without interruption. You can even have an ejaculation without really having an orgasm, which sometimes happens when your genitals are extremely stimulated, but you are not really mentally or emotionally engaged.

What you describe in your question is a cumulative charge, something like the rechargeable lithium batteries that many of our devices now use. When it reaches a certain threshold, the amber light turns green, or the recharge light goes off. So long as you are not stuck in this pattern of coming quickly without getting hard, just chalk it up to one more variety of erotic experience.

If you’re not satisfied with that, try something very different, like watching yourself in a mirror while you masturbate, take photos and make videos of yourself masturbating, then look at those while you masturbate.

Return your erotic focus to yourself, for a while, and admire your own penis, observe yourself masturbating, to see if you can get off on just that and also enjoy your erection.

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The Bate Master - Bruce P. GretherBRUCE P. GRETHER is the “BateMaster”. Mr. Grether’s lifelong love of penises and masturbation has led him to achieve a level of mastery and understanding of masturbation that is at once unique and extremely rare. He is renowned for both his ability to achieve seemingly endless states of prolonged and intense masturbatory pleasure as well as his skill in passing this knowledge on to his students. Mr. Grether has made it his life’s mission to encourage men to take their practice of masturbation to new levels of personal enrichment and self-discovery.

Mr. Grether is a globally recognized masturbation activist, an accomplished masturbation coach, and a tireless facilitator of masturbation workshops. In 2001 he coined the now popular term “Mindful Masturbation”. He is the author of a best-selling book, The Secret of the Golden Phallus, plus the erotic fantasy novels The Moontusk Chronicles. His website can be found at www.eroticengineering.com.

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A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.

Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.

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The Batemaster (Bruce P. Grether)

How Bruce P. Grether became the Batemaster

Among his earliest memories, Bruce recalls seeing an adult man’s penis swing about anchored in a nest of curly brown hairs when the man was changing clothes. That penis fascinated him and he somehow knew it was of major importance. He also remembers how good it felt to slide down a stairway banister or to climb a tree with pressure between his legs sending delicious sensations all through his body.

At an early age, he played doctor with another boy his age, and the frottage he enjoyed as they rubbed their penises together made him feel One with All Things.

He was older, maybe 9 or 10 years when he figured out how to actually masturbate while taking a shower. Immediately Bruce became a fan of self-pleasure, though, with puberty, he became extremely shy about his body being seen. Still, when his pubic hair sprouted and his penis grew bigger, it astonished him how incredible the sensations could feel with adult genitalia.

All through his 20s and 30s Bruce loved masturbating and did it often. Something kept tell him though, that there could be more to it. None of the books he read about Tantra and Taoist erotic cultivation provided simple how-to instructions. Finally, in his early 40s, he came upon Joseph Kramer’s video about male genital massage: FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN.

Having no playmates to try this with, he tried it on himself. In the process, he discovered what he soon named “Mindful Masturbation.” For 6 weeks he masturbated for hours every day, and did not ejaculate once! This was the Penis Paradise he had been looking for since his adventures playing doctor as a young boy. He was changed forever and lost most of his shyness and insecurities.

Bruce began to listen deeply to whatever his penis told him. This way he learned more and more about male masturbation, the penis, and he studied human sexuality. Soon he was hired to write professionally for the sex education site JackinWorld (dot) com, which he did for some years under the name “Bruce McFarland.”

Since then, his erotic activism is more radical and he uses his actual given name: Bruce P. Grether, AKA the Batemaster. He has hosted workshops and now does online masturbation coaching. In 2012 his best-selling book THE SECRET OF THE GOLDEN PHALLUS was published and with his handsome young friend Blue Tyger he created the Erotic Engineering site to explore advanced male self-pleasure practices.

Bruce considers himself a Missionary of the Male Mysteries and his work continues.


View all posts by The Batemaster (Bruce P. Grether)

How Bruce P. Grether became the Batemaster

Among his earliest memories, Bruce recalls seeing an adult man’s penis swing about anchored in a nest of curly brown hairs when the man was changing clothes. That penis fascinated him and he somehow knew it was of major importance. He also remembers how good it felt to slide down a stairway banister or to climb a tree with pressure between his legs sending delicious sensations all through his body.

At an early age, he played doctor with another boy his age, and the frottage he enjoyed as they rubbed their penises together made him feel One with All Things.

He was older, maybe 9 or 10 years when he figured out how to actually masturbate while taking a shower. Immediately Bruce became a fan of self-pleasure, though, with puberty, he became extremely shy about his body being seen. Still, when his pubic hair sprouted and his penis grew bigger, it astonished him how incredible the sensations could feel with adult genitalia.

All through his 20s and 30s Bruce loved masturbating and did it often. Something kept tell him though, that there could be more to it. None of the books he read about Tantra and Taoist erotic cultivation provided simple how-to instructions. Finally, in his early 40s, he came upon Joseph Kramer’s video about male genital massage: FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN.

Having no playmates to try this with, he tried it on himself. In the process, he discovered what he soon named “Mindful Masturbation.” For 6 weeks he masturbated for hours every day, and did not ejaculate once! This was the Penis Paradise he had been looking for since his adventures playing doctor as a young boy. He was changed forever and lost most of his shyness and insecurities.

Bruce began to listen deeply to whatever his penis told him. This way he learned more and more about male masturbation, the penis, and he studied human sexuality. Soon he was hired to write professionally for the sex education site JackinWorld (dot) com, which he did for some years under the name “Bruce McFarland.”

Since then, his erotic activism is more radical and he uses his actual given name: Bruce P. Grether, AKA the Batemaster. He has hosted workshops and now does online masturbation coaching. In 2012 his best-selling book THE SECRET OF THE GOLDEN PHALLUS was published and with his handsome young friend Blue Tyger he created the Erotic Engineering site to explore advanced male self-pleasure practices.

Bruce considers himself a Missionary of the Male Mysteries and his work continues.

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5 Comments

  1. I think its great you’re open and able to explore yourself sexually and over the years we may stumble onto any variety of different ways to arouse ourselves and orgasm. As Bruce mentioned, our brain is our truly our biggest sex organ.

    Now that you’ve discovered your quckie session (which is great) also explore going deeper trying the mirror(s), We do learn by experience – especially when it comes to sex.

    I;ve always had the softee issue whenever I got a chance to fuck – which of course doesn’t work well unless your partner is understanding and knows what to do. So I usually went home without a fuck and then bated off.

    1. Thanks so much for your comments! Variety is always good, and it’s easy to slip into predictable habits which can even make masturbation *GASP!* almost seem mundane! As you know, it’s not and male self-pleasure need never be mundane. For me, as I continue to train my penis to give me ever-increasing levels fo pleasure, I’m astonished that now it feels better than ever before! – BPG

      1. Yes, it’s so easy to slip into a routine especially as an older bator, And the simplest of changes can make such a difference in our arousal and of course our level of pleasure.

        1. Absolutely! Breaking habits as a male masturbator can be richly rewarding with new realms of pleasure opening up for you! Thanks, as always for your comment. – BPG

      2. I am turning 50 this year. After over 35 years as a dedicated chronic masturbator, I continue to experience a higher and more amazing amount of pleasure over time. Even though I began following Betty Dodson’s advice almost 30 years ago, the pleasure curve continues to increase. I believe that the countless thousands of hours of daily long edging sessions has led to where I am today and my future cock development