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Ask The Batemaster: Attracted To Older Guys

We learn from experience, however, that everyone who looks hot to us is not necessarily a person we really like much, if we get to know them.

QUESTION: I was raised by a single mom and never knew my dad at all, but I was never molested by anyone. A lot of hot young guys want to cam with me. I’m not much over 30 now, but the thing is, I’m really only attracted to much older guys, like at least 50+ maybe 80s, with white hair. Looks are not so important. Lots of guys don’t understand. What does this mean?

RESPONSE: Theories abound over why some guys are primarily attracted to other men of a certain age, either older or younger. In truth, nothing concerning human sexual preferences is simple or clear-cut. Some might suggest you are looking for a male role model, or that you had some earlier experience with guys closer to your age that disillusioned you about younger guys, as a category. 

Often men have very specific “turn-ons” concerning appearance, such as muscular guys, thinner guys, ample dudes, hairy, or less hairy, facial hair or not. All sorts of specifics can be a turn on or a turn off for someone. We learn from experience, however, that everyone who looks hot to us is not necessarily a person we really like much, if we get to know them. Also, quite often they will not necessarily find you their “cat’s meow” in return! Try to keep an open mind about age.

In today’s world of social distancing and increased online socializing, how you might actually relate to someone in-person may not be so important as what happens when you cam or video conference. As long as someone is not rude or behaves obnoxiously to you, it may not matter so much what kind of person they truly are, if you enjoy masturbating to each other’s image.

Still, in the long-run and in person, decent behavior and personality turn out to be truly important.

You may or may not ever be able to figure out a specific explanation for why you are far more strongly attracted to older and even white-haired men than to others. In these days of “epigenetics,” some would suspect it could even be partly inherited through your DNA. Personal history might be more plausible, including impressions you may have gotten at a very early age and do not consciously remember.

Most important is to accept yourself as you are. Understand that while others may not share or accept or appreciate your specific preference, it is probably because they feel left out, or insulted. Too bad, but actually that’s their problem. Older guys will probably appreciate it!

Plus, with older guys, there’s often a better chance you will encounter men with emotional maturity, interesting depth of experience, a relaxed attitude, and something that turns you on!

A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.

Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.

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The Batemaster (Bruce P. Grether)

How Bruce P. Grether became the Batemaster

Among his earliest memories, Bruce recalls seeing an adult man’s penis swing about anchored in a nest of curly brown hairs when the man was changing clothes. That penis fascinated him and he somehow knew it was of major importance. He also remembers how good it felt to slide down a stairway banister or to climb a tree with pressure between his legs sending delicious sensations all through his body.

At an early age, he played doctor with another boy his age, and the frottage he enjoyed as they rubbed their penises together made him feel One with All Things.

He was older, maybe 9 or 10 years when he figured out how to actually masturbate while taking a shower. Immediately Bruce became a fan of self-pleasure, though, with puberty, he became extremely shy about his body being seen. Still, when his pubic hair sprouted and his penis grew bigger, it astonished him how incredible the sensations could feel with adult genitalia.

All through his 20s and 30s Bruce loved masturbating and did it often. Something kept tell him though, that there could be more to it. None of the books he read about Tantra and Taoist erotic cultivation provided simple how-to instructions. Finally, in his early 40s, he came upon Joseph Kramer’s video about male genital massage: FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN.

Having no playmates to try this with, he tried it on himself. In the process, he discovered what he soon named “Mindful Masturbation.” For 6 weeks he masturbated for hours every day, and did not ejaculate once! This was the Penis Paradise he had been looking for since his adventures playing doctor as a young boy. He was changed forever and lost most of his shyness and insecurities.

Bruce began to listen deeply to whatever his penis told him. This way he learned more and more about male masturbation, the penis, and he studied human sexuality. Soon he was hired to write professionally for the sex education site JackinWorld (dot) com, which he did for some years under the name “Bruce McFarland.”

Since then, his erotic activism is more radical and he uses his actual given name: Bruce P. Grether, AKA the Batemaster. He has hosted workshops and now does online masturbation coaching. In 2012 his best-selling book THE SECRET OF THE GOLDEN PHALLUS was published and with his handsome young friend Blue Tyger he created the Erotic Engineering site to explore advanced male self-pleasure practices.

Bruce considers himself a Missionary of the Male Mysteries and his work continues.


View all posts by The Batemaster (Bruce P. Grether)

How Bruce P. Grether became the Batemaster

Among his earliest memories, Bruce recalls seeing an adult man’s penis swing about anchored in a nest of curly brown hairs when the man was changing clothes. That penis fascinated him and he somehow knew it was of major importance. He also remembers how good it felt to slide down a stairway banister or to climb a tree with pressure between his legs sending delicious sensations all through his body.

At an early age, he played doctor with another boy his age, and the frottage he enjoyed as they rubbed their penises together made him feel One with All Things.

He was older, maybe 9 or 10 years when he figured out how to actually masturbate while taking a shower. Immediately Bruce became a fan of self-pleasure, though, with puberty, he became extremely shy about his body being seen. Still, when his pubic hair sprouted and his penis grew bigger, it astonished him how incredible the sensations could feel with adult genitalia.

All through his 20s and 30s Bruce loved masturbating and did it often. Something kept tell him though, that there could be more to it. None of the books he read about Tantra and Taoist erotic cultivation provided simple how-to instructions. Finally, in his early 40s, he came upon Joseph Kramer’s video about male genital massage: FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN.

Having no playmates to try this with, he tried it on himself. In the process, he discovered what he soon named “Mindful Masturbation.” For 6 weeks he masturbated for hours every day, and did not ejaculate once! This was the Penis Paradise he had been looking for since his adventures playing doctor as a young boy. He was changed forever and lost most of his shyness and insecurities.

Bruce began to listen deeply to whatever his penis told him. This way he learned more and more about male masturbation, the penis, and he studied human sexuality. Soon he was hired to write professionally for the sex education site JackinWorld (dot) com, which he did for some years under the name “Bruce McFarland.”

Since then, his erotic activism is more radical and he uses his actual given name: Bruce P. Grether, AKA the Batemaster. He has hosted workshops and now does online masturbation coaching. In 2012 his best-selling book THE SECRET OF THE GOLDEN PHALLUS was published and with his handsome young friend Blue Tyger he created the Erotic Engineering site to explore advanced male self-pleasure practices.

Bruce considers himself a Missionary of the Male Mysteries and his work continues.

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