Consider whether anyone or you yourself are harmed or beset by guilt about it.

QUESTION: I have really hot fantasies, which are nothing truly violent, though I don’t think they’re entirely legal. For sure, it’s stuff I’d never do in real life. But I get off on it so intensely, eventually I shoot huge, almost painful loads of spunk! I even seek out photos, which seem rare and sometimes find stories about it. Do you think this is okay?

RESPONSE: Without more specifics, I can’t tell you much about the legal issues. If the actual behavior is illegal, then photos of whatever behavior or situation you refer to are probably also illegal, so that’s really not okay. Fictional written accounts of this evidently “transgressive” activity are a somewhat different matter and may not have harmed anyone in the writing and reading of them.

In and of itself, to simply imagine anything you wish, that arouses you and provides you with erotic stimulus may not harm anyone else. It might even be a way to explore its impact upon you. You would be wise to seriously consider how this fantasy life, which sounds as if it has grown quite obsessive, is actually influencing you. 

Does it have a negative impact on your actual relationships and interactions with other people? If you are aware that the actual activity might have a negative or harmful effect on the people involved, how is this affecting your own self-esteem? How honest are you being with yourself about this?

In today’s world of Internet porn, keep in mind that your browser searches may be recorded somewhere, and it is not smart to keep any materials that might be illegal in your personal computer or phone. If the material is illegal, that may be so because the production of the material is actually exploitive and harmful to those involved.

Unfortunately, without more specific information I am sort of shooting in the dark, as I respond. At the same time, your concerns about the legal issue are a sort of red flag to me. I suggest you consider carefully what harm your fascination may cause to others and to yourself.

If you are purely imagining some transgressive situations or acts, that is very different from seeking out actual photos of the same. Consider whether you yourself are harmed or beset by guilt about it.

With any actual material that is clearly illegal, you endanger yourself, support the exploitation of others, and would be wise to get rid of it.

A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.

Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.