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Ask The Batemaster: Am I Asexual?

Am I Asexual - Ask The Batemaster - The Bator Blog

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being asexual, if that is truly what is going on with you.”

 

QUESTION:

Am I asexual? I only masturbate once every week or two, and sex is not so important to me as it seems to many guys. I think most guys my age—I’m in my 30s—are obsessed with sex and masturbation. I am healthy enough and quite happy with my life. But I wonder: am I okay?

 

RESPONSE:

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being asexual, if that is truly what is going on with you. People’s sex drives naturally range tremendously from intense and constant awareness of all things sexual, to those, more like you, for whom sexuality is more like a glowing ember that only fans into flame periodically. There is nothing necessarily better or worse about those who might identify with any portion of this wide spectrum of sexual intensity. Most people are somewhere along the middle part of this range.

Be aware that I am not a medical professional or a psychologist. I have many years of experience studying male sexuality, especially as it relates to masturbation, also I’ve spoken with many thousands of men on these subjects over the years. If you have not discussed your relatively low libido with a doctor, it would be wise to do so at some point. Find out if they feel it is worth checking such matters as your T-level (testosterone) or other organic matters related to hormones, biology, and brain chemistry.

This is not to suggest to you that there is anything wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with having a relatively lower level of sexual intensity in your character and nature than many of your fellow human males. No more so is the opposite, having a high libido necessarily a problem.

What matters most is that you are comfortable with your sex-drive. Hopefully you do enjoy masturbation when you engage in the activity. It also matters that you are happy with your life overall, which you indicate. Never let anyone make you feel odd, or strange just because you are somewhat different from some others. So long as you do not suffer from conditioned inhibition, guilt, or shame, or an extreme urge to conceal and deny your sexual nature, your asexuality—if that’s what it is—may be nothing more than an individual difference.

Our human sexual drive is a valuable and important part of our existence, whether it’s an ongoing blaze, or the kind of ember I mentioned. Pleasurable erotic sensations ought to be cherished, whether in a somewhat muted form or overwhelmingly intense. There is truth to “if you don’t use it, you lose it.” At least once every week or two, it would be wise to make sure that you masturbate or engage in sexual activity, just to keep your systems in working order, and for enjoyment, such as it is.

There is no measure of how “most people” ought to be, but at the same time, people change over time. Possibly someday your libido might increase unexpectedly. However, if it seems to increasingly diminish anytime soon, do consult a medical professional.

Meanwhile, if you are truly asexual, which sounds possible, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that!

A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.

Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.

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The Batemaster (Bruce P. Grether)

How Bruce P. Grether became the Batemaster

Among his earliest memories, Bruce recalls seeing an adult man’s penis swing about anchored in a nest of curly brown hairs when the man was changing clothes. That penis fascinated him and he somehow knew it was of major importance. He also remembers how good it felt to slide down a stairway banister or to climb a tree with pressure between his legs sending delicious sensations all through his body.

At an early age, he played doctor with another boy his age, and the frottage he enjoyed as they rubbed their penises together made him feel One with All Things.

He was older, maybe 9 or 10 years when he figured out how to actually masturbate while taking a shower. Immediately Bruce became a fan of self-pleasure, though, with puberty, he became extremely shy about his body being seen. Still, when his pubic hair sprouted and his penis grew bigger, it astonished him how incredible the sensations could feel with adult genitalia.

All through his 20s and 30s Bruce loved masturbating and did it often. Something kept tell him though, that there could be more to it. None of the books he read about Tantra and Taoist erotic cultivation provided simple how-to instructions. Finally, in his early 40s, he came upon Joseph Kramer’s video about male genital massage: FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN.

Having no playmates to try this with, he tried it on himself. In the process, he discovered what he soon named “Mindful Masturbation.” For 6 weeks he masturbated for hours every day, and did not ejaculate once! This was the Penis Paradise he had been looking for since his adventures playing doctor as a young boy. He was changed forever and lost most of his shyness and insecurities.

Bruce began to listen deeply to whatever his penis told him. This way he learned more and more about male masturbation, the penis, and he studied human sexuality. Soon he was hired to write professionally for the sex education site JackinWorld (dot) com, which he did for some years under the name “Bruce McFarland.”

Since then, his erotic activism is more radical and he uses his actual given name: Bruce P. Grether, AKA the Batemaster. He has hosted workshops and now does online masturbation coaching. In 2012 his best-selling book THE SECRET OF THE GOLDEN PHALLUS was published and with his handsome young friend Blue Tyger he created the Erotic Engineering site to explore advanced male self-pleasure practices.

Bruce considers himself a Missionary of the Male Mysteries and his work continues.


View all posts by The Batemaster (Bruce P. Grether)

How Bruce P. Grether became the Batemaster

Among his earliest memories, Bruce recalls seeing an adult man’s penis swing about anchored in a nest of curly brown hairs when the man was changing clothes. That penis fascinated him and he somehow knew it was of major importance. He also remembers how good it felt to slide down a stairway banister or to climb a tree with pressure between his legs sending delicious sensations all through his body.

At an early age, he played doctor with another boy his age, and the frottage he enjoyed as they rubbed their penises together made him feel One with All Things.

He was older, maybe 9 or 10 years when he figured out how to actually masturbate while taking a shower. Immediately Bruce became a fan of self-pleasure, though, with puberty, he became extremely shy about his body being seen. Still, when his pubic hair sprouted and his penis grew bigger, it astonished him how incredible the sensations could feel with adult genitalia.

All through his 20s and 30s Bruce loved masturbating and did it often. Something kept tell him though, that there could be more to it. None of the books he read about Tantra and Taoist erotic cultivation provided simple how-to instructions. Finally, in his early 40s, he came upon Joseph Kramer’s video about male genital massage: FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN.

Having no playmates to try this with, he tried it on himself. In the process, he discovered what he soon named “Mindful Masturbation.” For 6 weeks he masturbated for hours every day, and did not ejaculate once! This was the Penis Paradise he had been looking for since his adventures playing doctor as a young boy. He was changed forever and lost most of his shyness and insecurities.

Bruce began to listen deeply to whatever his penis told him. This way he learned more and more about male masturbation, the penis, and he studied human sexuality. Soon he was hired to write professionally for the sex education site JackinWorld (dot) com, which he did for some years under the name “Bruce McFarland.”

Since then, his erotic activism is more radical and he uses his actual given name: Bruce P. Grether, AKA the Batemaster. He has hosted workshops and now does online masturbation coaching. In 2012 his best-selling book THE SECRET OF THE GOLDEN PHALLUS was published and with his handsome young friend Blue Tyger he created the Erotic Engineering site to explore advanced male self-pleasure practices.

Bruce considers himself a Missionary of the Male Mysteries and his work continues.

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2 Comments

  1. Asexual is merely a lack of sexual attraction. If you only masturbate when you’re horny, that’s ok. Asexuals can have sex. Asexuals aren’t prudes. Asexuals can be sexy/hot/provocative/sex workers. I am asexual and married and have sex. Sex for me is an outlet for my libido. It has nothing to do with others’ attractiveness, if it exists. I do need some sort of trust and connection to the one I will be intimate with.