Ask Dr. Bate

Sometimes I can’t get hard with some friends with whom I cam with regularly. I really like getting to know people, it makes the bate more intense, but it seems like once I start to like them like friends, then my erections start to wane. I typically can be nice and hard for headless cocks that I only bate with once or twice, than guys with whom I share a connection. I’ve talked to some people about this and they always ask if it’s because I feel guilty

I am a physically fit 47-year-old man. I have always masturbated. But for the past 7 years I’ve increased the amount I touch my cock to 3-5 times a day. I mean, I can’t get enough, even after sex I’ll stay awake and stroke my hard cock to orgasm. For example, today I was off and I masturbated 6 times and made love to my beautiful wife.

No matter how much (daily shooting two + loads) I cum, I wake up early every morning (about 3 hrs.) so hard and I don’t go soft ‘till I shoot. At my age of approaching 60 is this normal?

Is it safe to wear a cock-ring for long periods of time while bating?

Dr. Bate’s Answer:

This is a very good question as many guys use cock-rings during sexual play and sometimes just as an accessory, like a ring on a finger. The short answer is yes, under certain conditions, it can be safe to where a cock-ring for extended periods of time. The key here is to know your limits.

I wanted to ask if there was ever a time when you watch a video or something in real life that got your cock rock hard instantly?

I do know a few men in my life that will get instantly rock hard from words, videos, photos, etc. Each person’s genitalia is unique and operates differently. It is important to know that however your cock responds is completely perfect. Remember that comparing your bodily arousal for the sake of judging is never beneficial or productive, but sharing stories is always intriguing! On that note, I would love to hear from other Bate Brothers about what turns you on erotically! Keep exploring!

I’ve been a member of BW for over 3 years now, and been committed to the solosexual lifestyle for 2 years now. I’m loving it, but would love to share this with someone in a relationship. There aren’t many who are dedicated to this sort of lifestyle, but how do you recommend some ways to find someone?

Hey Dr. Bate! Love the blog. Anyway, my question is around chafing; it sometimes happens when I bate a lot, mainly on the outer edges of my foreskin, and that’s even with lube. What are some ways that you can prevent it from happening, and also promote healing while not having to stop doing what you love to do?

Hello. This past year I’ve discovered that my interest in bating has grown to the extent that I would rather masturbate on cam rather than watching porn. I moved from my hometown to another country and it hasn’t been easy adapting socially. I’ve had a couple of wanking meet-ups and still look for them, but none appear to be more than a one time thing.

I think I’m looking for someone to be friends with and to share the interest in wanking, plus any others. I find myself pretty often chatting online to try and find a fellow bater. Could this be more like an obsession? Maybe I should try finding non bating friends instead?


I grew up in a Southern Baptist household where sex was never mentioned. My parents never prepared me for what I would experience during puberty and adulthood. Their silence on the subject of sex and the human body, along with the daily humiliations of Junior High, required me to carry the weight of a lot of things I was too young to handle, and the traumas that were buried in me then are still alive today.

I love bating. But the problem is I feel like I love bating too much. Even when I am having sex with my people I still think about putting porns on and bating instead of enjoying the sex. Can you give me advice on this? I want to enjoy sex as much as I enjoy bating.

Any advice for smaller bators dealing with always being the smaller one when bating with buddies?

According to the most recent studies, the average length of a flaccid penis is 3.5-3.6 inches. And the average erect penis is about 5.1 inches long. So take a moment and mark those two measurements off on your ruler and remember that, like on a bell curve, most guys you meet and/or bate with are going to fall within that average. Of course there are outliers – some guys are smaller than average while others are larger.

I have a urologist who tells me it’s good to ejaculate on a frequent basis, and I’ve read articles that claim masturbation helps to stave off prostate cancer. Can a man go his whole life without ejaculating? Would that be healthy?