Ask Dr. Bate: Cock Rings and Exhibitionism

EDITOR’S NOTE: If you have a question for Dr. Bate, we want to hear from you. You can submit your question by scrolling down to the bottom of this page and submitting it on the form that will appear or emailing your questions to [email protected].

A Question For Dr. Bate:

Is it safe to wear a cock-ring for long periods of time while bating?

–From Anonymous

Dr. Bate’s Answer:

This is a very good question as many guys use cock-rings during sexual play and sometimes just as an accessory, like a ring on a finger.

The short answer is yes, under certain conditions, it can be safe to where a cock-ring for extended periods of time. The key here is to know your limits. Often, we can get so caught up in the act of masturbation or sex while wearing a cock-ring that we can ignore the discomfort that is occurring. If discomfort occurs please stop, remove the ring, and give your penis a rest. It is recommended by some medical professionals that a ring not be worn more than 20-40 minutes at a time. Obviously, many of us wear them for even longer periods with no problem, so be your own penile advocate and give yourself stroking breaks periodically.

Here’s a bit more medical information about what happens when a cock-ring is worn during erection. The penis, contrary to popular opinion, is NOT a muscle. What makes your penis erect during arousal are spongy erectile tissues that run in two cylindrical tubes along the top of the shaft. They are individually called Corpus Cavernosum tissue. During erections this tissue fills with blood, much like a sponge, and subsequently pinches off the veins that would allow the blood to leave, hence maintaining your erection.

A cock-ring further restricts the blood from leaving the penis allowing an erection to be maintained for extended periods of time. However, because the blood is being trapped within the penis, the penis and surrounding tissue is not being supplied with freshly oxygenated blood. In some cases this trapped blood can lead to priapism which is a persistent erection lasting more than four hours. If this occurs, please seek medical attention, as this can be painful and damaging to the penile tissue.

Suggestions:

• Use cock-ring materials that have some malleability if you are going to wear one for an extended period of time – a snap on or rubber ring are good options.
• Don’t make it too tight. If it’s too tight, and the erection doesn’t go down on it’s own, you might need to have it medically removed. An extremely tight ring can potentially damage the blood vessels and penile tissues.
• I suggest not wearing a non-malleable cock-ring to bed, as most of us are not in control of our erections as we sleep and there is a risk for erectile tissue damage as well.
• Metal rings do not give as much as others materials do. If metal is your choice, be mindful of resting your cock periodically.
• If numbness, achiness, soreness, discoloration occurs and does not rectify itself after removal of the ring, please seek medical attention.

Again, know your limits and don’t over extend yourself. Be good to your friend, and he’ll be good to you!

Happy Bating!
Garland J.

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J. Stone’s Question For Dr. Bate:

Since I first started bating, I have had a recurring fixation on getting caught or being observed. I love it when I catch a guy looking at my bulge in public or taking a peek at the urinals. I have an above average-sized cock on a short man’s frame and that look of surprise when another man notices that juxtaposition instantly makes me bone up. I’ve had sex in the outdoors a number of times, but never with an audience. I’m wondering how common exhibitionism is and how to go about exploring this aspect of my sexuality safely. Do most guys like being observed? Is there a legal, reasonable outlet for this desire that you can recommend?

–J. Stone

Dr. Bate’s Answer

Hello J. Stone,
Thanks for your intriguing question. Gaining pleasure from being observed, exhibitionism, is common and it completely depends on the individual. Some folks gain no pleasure from being observed and it can inhibit their erotic desire, while it may increase others’ erotic pleasure. I would encourage you to explore your exhibitionism in safe places such as Jack Off clubs where men go specifically to masturbate. You can enjoy other men admiring your cock as you masturbate feeding your erotic energy. There is an option for mutual touch or just watching and being watched. This is a perfect container for safely exploring your exhibitionism in a safe and healthy way and it will give you a chance to learn more about what you like erotically in regards to being observed. Also, bathhouses are designed specifically for what you are wanting to explore!

Happy experimenting,
Toby

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Garland Jarmon heralds from 7 years as an HIV/AIDS educator and sexual health counselor for individuals and couples. Having a Masters in Social Work and now as a Certified Sexological Bodyworker, he seeks to help all those in the LGBTQIA, straight, and Bator community live a more wholesome and embodied life, full of mindfulness and conscious exploration.

Toby de Luca comes from a background in Education and Massage Therapy. With a Masters in Teaching and also as a Certified Sexological Bodyworker, he to assist folks in facilitating stronger, healthier relationships with their own bodies and their relationships with others.

Together they co-own their own Sex and Erotic Coaching business — Spiritual Eros (www.SpiritualEros.com). They desire to bring to the BateWorld Community an opportunity to have open and honest discussion about issues that many of us face. They believe that everything is an experiment and that the only failed experiment is one you don’t collect the data from. They also understand that because their answers may not fit every lived experience, they welcome community members to offer their own experiences, challenges, and triumphs. They are proponents that healthy community creates healthier lives…and healthy lives, healthier communities!

Garland and Toby are Sexologists and as such are NOT medical doctors or therapists. The opinions, suggestions, and advice given are not meant to be in lieu of your primary care physician’s medical advice. If you are concerned about a medical condition or have a medical emergency, PLEASE contact your doctor, urgent care, or emergency room!

Brothers, we encourage you to exercise your best and highest wisdom and intuition!

If you’d like to submit questions, please email them to [email protected].